XH paid 75% of our mortgage, now he thinks he's entitled to 75% of the house...

[Mumsnutter963]

He is self employed on a very low wage and I earn about 3 times more than him, so I agree it is not a 50-50 split but I don't believe it should be 75-25. He has stayed in the house and I have taken a mortgage on a new home. We have the kids half the week each. What do you think?

that is all split up 50%. This includes the value of everything, which of course may not actually be hard cash. For eg. house value, cars, shares, other assets, pensions. So, work out what you are actually due and compare that to what you'd get if the house value element was carved up 75/25. You can let him stay in the house...he could raise a mortgage to buy you out from it, he doesn't have to actually move.

50% is the starting point, but it is as said before done on need and equality post marriage to put each party on an equal as possible footing.

was there a reason given for why the new partner won't buy you out? Smells like a strategy to me to extract more equity but perhaps I'm an old cynic. Good luck op, i hope you get a fair split.

Thanks all. Nancyanne that's helpful, thank you. We only paid a 5% deposit on the house.

What type of pension do you have? If its a final salary pension (defined benefits) it might have been undervalued.

If you cohabited before marriage then this will be included in the length of the marriage. If he did have only prior to marriage that he used as a deposit for your property its unlikely this would be ring fenced unless there was loads of assets.

it's only the 12 years of marriage that you can divide up

Every day is a school day. I thought all bets were off once you actually got married and it was 50:50 unless the marriage lasted 5 mins. Which is why pre-nups are so popular outside the UK and Trusts so popular in the UK particularly for farming families or those with a lot of assets.

www.divorceaid.co.uk/financial/family-home.htm

Who has paid the mortgage for the past 3 yrs ?

Even tho you've been together for 20 years, it's only the 12 years of marriage that you can divide up.

I was told the opposite by a solicitor - that the relationship and marriage years are seen as one block of time as long as the marriage follows on from the relationship (in our case 6 years together and 14 years married so 20 years all together - still married as our massive crisis seems to be over and I have accepted that there is a fair amount about my marriage that I don't like but who knows what the future holds).

Everytimeref - a small private pension and a final salary pension. We cohabited for 7 of the 8 years before we got married, 4 of them in the former marital home.
Treadsofltly - thanks for the link. The mortgage was paid off before we separated.
Don'tknow -

The 25% which includes your pension is £10k?

25% including my pensions is £35K.

Regardless of the figures, 25% isn't exactly fair. Do you want to keep your pension?
Not sure why you'd even want to propose 65/35. What sort of business does he run that only only earns him 7k a year (so he says)

You will NOT get 50%, mainly due to the pension situation.

Your solicitor will argue for 50% all the way to court because, simply, arguing gets them paid. You need to decide how much of your settlement you want to spend on legal fees.

Maybe suggest 33/66 if he agrees to save you both legal £££££

What about debt? Did you have any shared debt before you separated three years ago.

Mine ran up £30,000 of debt. I had none. The clever judge spotted that he had ran it up after he left the marriage so that became his.

I didn't even know I might have been liable for some of it. My divorce cost me about £7.5k eight years ago and his probably about £1500 more.

It was money well spent. Although I didn't think so at the time.

Jeremy Wolfe at divorceline has some useful advice re pensions. It might be worth giving him a ring.

You will NOT get 50%, mainly due to the pension situation

But on the other hand, she has been paying rent for 3 yrs [and housing her 2 children on a 50:50 basis] while her exH has been living mortgage free so to some extent he has benefited significantly from investing his pension amount into the house. 36 months at £815 [ave UK rent for a 3 bed] is £29,340 which is broadly the same as the OP's pension pot. Add mortgage interest [which the OP has been paying] and that would be more.

Because residency is currently 50:50 you have a far better chance of securing a better deal now than when the kids have left home imo.

Only by seeing a solicitor and getting a proper divorce are you going to end up with full financial disclosure. The longer you leave it, the easier it is for him to let necessary maintenance on the house not get done rendering it of lessor value and harder to sell for example also.

But on the other hand, she has been paying rent for 3 yrs [and housing her 2 children on a 50:50 basis] while her exH has been living mortgage free so to some extent he has benefited significantly from investing his pension amount into the house. 36 months at £815 [ave UK rent for a 3 bed] is £29,340 which is broadly the same as the OP's pension pot. Add mortgage interest [which the OP has been paying] and that would be more.

However when men move out and have to pay rent, when they are the higher earner, they don't often get 'allocated' more of the pot on the basis that they have been rented.

It really isn't a simple solution. You do need proper legal advice.

I agree with pp though that 50:50 is unlikely, especially as final salary pensions of often undervalued.

Thanks mums, some useful stuff there. I will seek further legal advice.