XH paid 75% of our mortgage, now he thinks he's entitled to 75% of the house...

[Mumsnutter963]

He is self employed on a very low wage and I earn about 3 times more than him, so I agree it is not a 50-50 split but I don't believe it should be 75-25. He has stayed in the house and I have taken a mortgage on a new home. We have the kids half the week each. What do you think?

Agree with Minty here your solicitor will know far more about this as he/she will have all the facts and a much better idea of who's got what and entitlement to to what. If this got to court I expect that you, if you have to take care of the children, and they will be the courts major concern should I would have thought get most of the marital spoils at least half the house if not most all of its worth. Children first then the parents is what they look at.

My ex W made a very minor contribution financially overall but still got a hefty 6 figure sum and I wasn't the one who cheated either!. And that doesn't get taken into account either its all no blame these days!.

You do have a decent solicitor who does a fair old bit of family law don't you?. Some seem better then others in this respect.

I don't see why he gets more of the house. When you were part-time you were contributing to his career and his earnings presumably by picking up more of the childcare and looking after the home?

It is not to do with 'who did or does what' it is about each being on an equal footing after divorce.

If the OPs exH is the lower earner, if went to court, they would want to see that he isn't 'unfairly disadvantaged' from the split.

But he has no pension it's all in the house I can't see why you would get 50% if you have a pension and earn more. And sadly any equity built up in the house you live in May well end up on the table too

If he has no pension your pension will be included in all the marital assets. However like I said before the actual cash value of the pension is not the same as what is in it now. If you want to keep your pension you'd maybe have to concede a percentage of the house equity but you must get an actual pension value before you agree to a lesser percentage of the house.
He's just trying it on. He may not want to negotiate but ultimately it's not up to him, any settlement should be fair to both parties, so don't let yourself go down the route of you settling just to get it sorted.
I think you have to go to mediation before you can start court proceedings, it most likely won't get to a final hearing as he won't be able to afford that either. He has to pay also if it goes down the court route.
It sounds like there's quite a bit of money at stake. It's not about who paid on what the court will see that you both made contributions to the household either by earning money or looking after the children.

I'd personally like to see his tax returns. You only have his word that he earns a third of your salary - just over £7k a year?

And he can afford to run a house with his two children at 50% residency. He must be on a ton of benefits. Which would be tricky as his current partner lives with him and is on a decent salary, so without spending the rest of the morning on the DWP website I suspect that he may not be eligible for them....

I'm sorry but I think you are being played for a fool. The longer he strings this out the harder it gets for you to resolve, and the bigger your pension pot is to raid.

Thanks anyone else got experience of mediation? Do they just referee or do they guide/advise you?

As has been said many times, OP should be entitled to 50% of the house minus her half of her pension fund. There is no suggestion she should keep that as well as 50% of the house. At the moment, she is being offered 25% of the house minus her pension assets. That is not fair on her.

i don't think it's fair that you get less than 50% minus your half of the pension pot - presumably while you earned the lesser salary, you did more childcare. He's attempting to screw you about and I think in your shoes I'd do what the solicitor says. You're not being unfair, he can choose to earn more than the paltry amount he says he's making from his business, you're not exactly Rockefeller yourself.

I had my pension valued when we separated so that's the figure we'll use. We both worked part-time when the kids were little. I would accept less than 50% but not as little as 25%. I think you're right mediation is the way to go as long as he will negotiate which I'm not sure of.

He may still not negotiate in mediation no one can force him to but you'll then have to start court proceedings. What other choice will you have? Are you prepared to accept 25% because if you don't start court proceedings that's what you'll end up with.

I think that's more generous than 90% of people would be. Your exp could wind up the badly paying business and get a much better paying salaried job if he chose to by the sounds of it, so I can't see why you accept that he's going to earn what is effectively below the minimum wage for a long time.

And to be honest the threat of court proceedings may very well force him to make a fairer proposal, he'll be out of pocket too if it goes that far. He'll also have to give financial disclosure, which should have been done anyway as how can you even begin to negotiate if you don't know his (each other's) financial position.

Right now he has no reason to give you more than 25%. He has the house already. Start turning the screws and stuff will start to happen.

I had my pension valued when we separated

How does half of the pension valuation compare with a quarter of the equity in the house? You don't have to give figures, but are they comparable or widely different?

I had my pension valued when we separated so that's the figure we'll use

Depending on how long ago that was, it may need to be redone

I have offered to settle for 35-65 but he won't budge. 25% with me keeping my pensions works out at ?10K which is not a lot to show for 20 years together.

Thanks pootle. The 25% includes my pensions. I'd actually get 6-7% of the house :-( I am not a high earner

Oh I see! That still means the house is only worth £160,000-£170,000.

Why on earth don't you see a solicitor instead of wasting time discussing it on internet forums? You might be entitled to some legal aid. Starting points is surely 50:50 and then I'd work towards 25% of the house plus your pensions. A solicitor would also make him produce his tax returns and force him to realise that his other option is to sell the house and pay you a lump sum. He may have to do that anyway. He could be telling you all sorts of lies about his income and savings, so not seeing a solicitor is slightly ridiculous IMHO. Look up the legal aid calculator tool to see how much contribution you would have to make.

I have seen a solicitor but now I need to decide what to do next eg. mediation, court, wait till kids are 18. Solicitors cost money, Mumsnetter is free and full of wise people with lots of experience and advice, for which I am very grateful. Discussing it on here really helps me to see the full picture and decide how to proceed.

Why on earth don't you see a solicitor instead of wasting time discussing it on internet forums?

One excellent reason for doing this is that the person asking gets the chance to discuss it, gets the chance to learn what's involved, and then can be better equipped to provide the right information to a solicitor and ask the right questions.

Sure, a good solicitor will be able to lead a client well but it's always a good idea to minimise the amount of work they have to do and some solicitors are better than others.

You have build two assets during your marriage: equity in the marital home and your pension.

You need to get a good idea of what both these are before making a decision on whether his offer to x% of the house and you keep your pension.

Solicitors are good and bad. They do no decide who keeps what, Thats the judge. Did you tell her that exH put money into the house rather than a pension?

End of the day, unless you are married to a Russian oligarch, both sides end up much poorer after a divorce.

Oh, another thing, and I say this everyone, do not plan much in the way of tax credits in the future. I expect them to be gone within 5 years.

I don't think a threat of court will produce a fairer proposal. My gut instinct is the exH does not have a pot to piss in.

I thought it was the value of the pension at separation that was used? Does that mean if this drags on a few more years I'll have to have share the additional pension savings I've built up whilst we've been separated?

Yes I've heard a rumour that tax credits could reduce drastically in April.

He could always remortgage the house for 50% of the value.

Get 50/50 split, then use the money on your mortgage.

I've been thru this. Even tho you've been together for 20 years, it's only the 12 years of marriage that you can divide up. So, if he made payments on the house for 8 years before you were married, he gets the credit for that. Even if he was in a different property, which he sold and then paid a deposit on your current house, that's his money and it has to be included in the sums.

Regards the 12 years married, yes, that is all split up 50%. This includes the value of everything, which of course may not actually be hard cash. For eg. house value, cars, shares, other assets, pensions. So, work out what you are actually due and compare that to what you'd get if the house value element was carved up 75/25. You can let him stay in the house...he could raise a mortgage to buy you out from it, he doesn't have to actually move.

Re Pension, let's say yours has a current value of £150,000 and his has a value of £50,000, the total value is £200,000, so you'd have to give him £50,000. But, you say he was a big earner in the past, so maybe your Pensions won't be so different? But, if yours is much bigger, this may compensate you for the house value being divided 75/25.

You simply have to do your sums! If you do your sums and he would be getting unfairly a larger portion than you, you must employ a solicitor to draw up a separation agreement. This will cost about £1500. And he will have to get a Solicitor too, also at the same cost. Threat of this may make him re-think.

Also, who will get the Child Benefit? And will he be getting substantial Child Tax Credits? If his GF is living with him and she earns a lot, he shouldn't get any (if he's owned up to HMRC that she lives there).

I would not budge on anything. You are entitled to your fair share. If you don't get it now, you will regret it later, when you are mortgaged to the hilt and they are jetting off on 2 holidays a year.

Good luck!

There's no rumour, tax credits are getting a chink taken out of them.

Expect the wualifying hours to be raised and the money given out to fall.