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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Poll - how often do you have sex?

116 replies

showsomeclass · 13/09/2015 21:00

And who wants it more, you or your partner?
And how long have you been together?

Feel free to expand on this - I'm interested in this topic as for the first time in my life as I want it more often than my partner - which is, slightly worrying so just wondering what the ratio is out there!

OP posts:
TheDrugsWorkABitTooWellThanks · 14/09/2015 07:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

patterkiller · 14/09/2015 07:13

Been together 20 years and becoming increasingly mis matched. Probably once monthly, I would like it daily, he would like it annually.

Flumplet · 14/09/2015 07:18

Once or twice per year on average, but going through a dry spell so it's been over a year this time. We're both 32, married for 8 years been together 13.

riverboat1 · 14/09/2015 07:29

1-2 times per week. Been together 6 years.

DP would like more. We've had some very honest talks where he explains how he feels when he's really horny and I explain how unsexy I feel when I am tired and just want to go to sleep. We both make an effort to take the other's feelings into account.

Groovee · 14/09/2015 07:35

Been together 18 years, married for nearly 17. Varies from once a week to 3/4 times. Just depends on how much we're working and if do is at home at night. We have no regular pattern, just when we are both awake and up for it.

flanjabelle · 14/09/2015 07:36

Been together 7 years (with a 6 month break last year) and it is usually 2 or 3 times a week, but only at the weekend. We are too tired in the week, due to him working long hours and me managing a toddler. He would probably like it more, but it's not possible to be constantly at it at the weekend with a toddler around.

Abundatia · 14/09/2015 07:36

About once every 5 years. hahahaha

Drew64 · 14/09/2015 10:47

3-4 times a week, both happy with quantity and quality ;)
We've been married 17 years

ArialBold · 14/09/2015 10:53

15 yrs together and we've fallen into a pretty predictable routine...but it works for us Grin.

We have a proper 'sesh' on Friday and Saturday nights, usually a quickie on Sunday night and then once again during the week.

Both work, DC, busy lives. I think 3-4 times a week is pretty good going to be honest.

DH would like it more, but he isn't unhappy I dont think...

isthismylifenow · 14/09/2015 11:44

Used to be once or twice a week.

Lately once a month if lucky.

Just had sex at the weekend for the very last time after which i was told that I don't do it for him anymore.

In fact, how I feel now, it was probably the last time I will have sex ever! With anyone.

Very very jealous of some of these replies.

ouryve · 14/09/2015 11:51

isthismylifenow Flowers

How old are you? Where are you expecting to go from here?

Whatthefoxgoingon · 14/09/2015 12:03

About once a week. Lots more on holidays. It's pretty much because we are very busy during our normal lives and don't get the chance. We've been together 18 years and still fancy each other rotten.

Happytuesdays99 · 14/09/2015 12:47

Less than I would like, more than he would....

fiftyshadesofgrot · 14/09/2015 12:53

Last had sex 2 years ago. I love DH and he loves me. Been together 10 years. Thats the way it is with us. Im sure DH would want it but seems OK with the way things are.

EmGee · 14/09/2015 12:54

Together 10 years. On average once a week. (That said the last couple of months it has been less often). He would prefer more. Have young kids who still wake up at night and the youngest comes into bed every morning without fail, so mornings are no longer an option.

As I have a lower drive than DH, I am always happy to provide some er, manual relief for him if I'm not up for DTD. Sometimes I actually wish I was a man and could a) orgasm easily and without fail and b) be up for it more often.

ComeDownToMe · 14/09/2015 13:22

Most days, sometimes more than once. Been together nearly 2 years.

Happytuesdays99 · 14/09/2015 13:51

More than once in a day! Those days are a long distant memory! Grin

Minus2seventy3 · 14/09/2015 14:03

None at all nowadays. Not for a good two and a half, three years. If it wasn't for the little one, I'd have left by now. Still may.

theredjellybean · 14/09/2015 14:13

with exh it was once every six months or so for first 15 yrs then nothing until I left after 23 yrs.
DP been togther 4 yrs and every day ...sometimes twice a day. we are both mid 40's and hope it continues like this well into dotage.

TiredOfPeople · 14/09/2015 14:27

Been with my husband 12 years now since I was 19. He used to want it at least twice a day, every day, at least three times on weekends. It was a nightmare for me because I find sex very painful, and it became a massive bone of contention (no pun inteded). When I would say no at midnight because I was honestly exhausted, and then no again at 6am when he was poking me with the bloody thing and I'd barely slept, he couldn't understand why I didn't want to do it with him if I "loved" him, lot's of arguments, lots of restment etc etc...Anyway. Fastforward, we now do it when we can (which is rarely, maybe twice a fortnight or so, as he works abroad a lot, but I always try and make time for him when he's home), and the quality is SO MUCH BETTER!! Doing it so often was awful, but doing it when we can to reconnect etc as well as fulfil urges has really improved the quality, and I don't dread it now at all though sex is still quite painful. If he was home normal hours, we'd probably do it about 3/4 times a week.

TiredOfPeople · 14/09/2015 14:28

Also, his drive is A LOT lower now (thankfully).

isthismylifenow · 14/09/2015 14:37

ouryve

I am 44 he is 47.

I have posted in relationships board.

He is moving out but cant yet as cannot afford the mortgage here and rent elsewhere. I refuse to move from here because of the dc. So until then my life is in limbo really.

Maybe one day I will be able to make a post like redjellybean. Really happy for you though Red Wink

OliviaM91 · 14/09/2015 14:40

We have been married for five months, together for four years, sadly currently childless. Currently living under the neighbours from hell and get no sleep, we manage three times a week. I think we are evenly matched in terms of libido.

theredjellybean · 14/09/2015 14:47

isthis....it took a long long time for me to realise that sex was important to me, important enough that without it...all other affection went until we were two people co-parenting well but that was really all. my best friend told me about the psychologist mentioned before ( sorry senior moment) and it had big impact on me.
it also took meeting DP to make me see that sex with the right person..is well...right :)

thisissillynow · 14/09/2015 14:49

About 4 times a week. Been married 12 years. Both would like more but dc prevent that. We've just started making sure the dc are happy downstairs then popping upstairs for a quickie (lock on bedroom door), not ideal but needs must. It was lust at first sight and I am still very attracted to him physically. Luckily we get on well too!