Boyfriend DOSENT want babies!

[Misszh]

Hey everyone so I had that special conversation with the boyfriend today and dropped the B Bomb on him...I want babies!! We have been together for some time now.. There's a 20 year age gap and he has 3 kids already.. YES I like the older man... When we first got together it was agreed he knew I'd want them at some stage and said we would wait a few years...well that time is up... And Nope.. His mind is set.. He DOSENT want anymore!
I don't know what to do ladies.. I want a child so badly it's killing me inside, would it make me selfish to leave him over it? Do I stick around for him to change his mind?

I judge big age gaps as well to some extent.

I can not see why an older adult would ever want to be with an 18 year old. I have seen far too many relationships with a big age gap play out and often the men are arseholes who just picked someone more vulnerable who couldn't see them for the arsehole they were yes dad, you Some of them got to age 30 and realised that living with a 60 year old man wasn't how they wanted to spend their lives when they were in very different stages.

Of course there might be relationships with a big age gap which are perfectly healthy but IME they are rare when we are talking about the relationship starting when one is only 18. I am 34, 18 year olds are kids to me. I have nothing in common with them.

OP please do not waste these years on him. He is an arsehole. You have so much time to meet someone lovely and have a family. Don't waste that time on this man who has manipulated you from a very young age and lied to you. You are worth so much more. He took advantage of you, he is a disgusting 'man'

Look for a new job, leave him and get some counselling and don't start another relationship until you really believe you are worth more or you might repeat the same patterns. It is not going to be easy, but it will be easier than spending years with this man.

Update ladies.. So I've managed to find a new job... Going to speak to the boyfriend tomorrow to see how it pans out.. If worst comes to worse unless I'm not going to be on my arse...

Update ladies.. So I've managed to find a new job.

That was quick

Chatterbox you're not the MN'er who posted a few years about your older partner eating all your peanut butter are you? (was a lot more to it than that, but the peanut butter was the final straw). There seem to be a lot of similarities.

Update ladies.. So I've managed to find a new job
Blimey! Finding a new job within a few hours of deciding to look for one is impressive.

IDK, ladies, where I live there are always pub/bar/wait staff jobs available, the turnover rate is pretty big, especially this time of the year (university area). If you're good at your job, it's pretty easy to find another one.

Congratulations, onward and upward.

If you have worked in the trade for a bit you get to know people. I have got a couple of bar jobs by asking those if they have any hours going, if they know you and know you are good at the job then you dont need to "apply" in the traditional sense.

I have done what the OP has done so I dont see that it is exceptionally quick. I got shitcanned from one job in the morning (LL did a moonlight flit) and was working in another pub that evening.

Come on, bar jobs are easy to come by, especially for experienced types.