The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

venus I suppose I've gone for things that I've liked, rather than going for things to find friends - they have been a by-product. okay, hmm right, but

you see, I've tried all the things people have suggested.

• getting in touch with old friends (well I never had many to begin with, having always been a loner introvert) one of them, after the initial response, I never heard from again ; the other, am sporadically in contact but she has mental health issues and goes awol regularly, I do send her emails/texts saying if she wants to get in touch I'm still around, but I'm not pushing it cause I think she wants to be on her own ATM

• have been to various exercise classes etc. But apart from the cost, I found that it was just - aerobics for an hour and go home. You know, I'd say hello to people but it was never like those TV shoes where everyone catches a coffee afterwards

• BSL class; this was more promising, we did once meet in a pub but we weren't all getting along, and then I failed the exam after finding out I was rubbish at sign language

• book club; I've joined several over the years, but nothing ever happens - apart from discussing the books we're reading! And they're monthly, so its hard to really gel. Most recently the group I was part of just fell apart; I'm not sure why - don't think it was me (I hope not) but after a couple of chasing emails, I didn't want to become a tag-along, so I gave up. I am on the look out for another one, although most library-run ones are during the daytime.

• sorry, it sound like I'm making excuses but really I'm trying not to. I became friendly with a local mum who has kids the same age, but the first time I asked if she wanted to meet up for a coffee she said she was busy; and I haven't had the courage to ask again.

• dog-walking, that would be good except I'm not really an outdoorsy person... okay, that does sound like an excuse... I did see a 'meet-up' near me which could have been perfect, but the thought of just turning up fills me with anxiety.

Sorry that was long - and pathetic - but I felt a bit depressed after reading venus post about how to find friends because I'd just worked up courage to maybe go to AA - for some reason I feel less anxious about that - maybe cause I thought everyone would be in the same boat? - but now I'm thinking such a loser, having to go to AA just to make friends!

See what I want (and I am SO glad you can't all see me right now, a 45-year old whining "will you be my friend?" !) is a close, bosom buddy, someone to chat to and share stuff with. And doing the dog-thing will I KNOW just turn out like aerobics all over again - meet, do the thing, talk about dog-quirks and whether the park deer have got foot and mouth again, leave, and repeat the following week. It never turns into anything substantial.

joey I agree, it absolutely is hard to make new friends unless you happen to click with people at work or something.

The thing is, it's not you. There will be many others thinking the same; people who are not sure about suggesting meeting up for a quick coffee, people who are too shy to make the first move.

But most all I think that as we get older, many of us just can't be arsed to get out there and mingle like we used to.

It doesn't sound like you're making excuses to me, it sounds like you've tried lots of things and they haven't worked out for you yet. But I would just say, keep trying. Start a new class and keep asking until you click with someone. If it leads to nothing, move on and try somewhere else.

Btw going to AA to make friends is not being a loser. I bet they will be the most diverse group, all with interesting stories to tell, all probably anxious and self conscious but if they are anything like us, they will be a laugh and will stick together. And best of all, socialising won't revolve around drinking so people are more likely to want to meet up for an exercise class or take beginners Italian, or any number of non alcoholic events.

I've been so glad and grateful to people like you joey who have offered the hand of friendship and some of my best friends have been chance meetings at toddler groups and the like x

Ah joey people can seem impenetrable sometimes and it's so hard to break through deep anxiety and feel that the world is too busy for you. Without meaning to sound naff have you thought about taking part in some charity stuff where there is a common purpose beyond making friends or achieving just a personal goal? Anyway , you sound just lovely to me.

Oh joey I am really sad that I made you feel depressed. Like you, I wish I had people who lived nearby with whom I could have a proper and decent conversation, friends where I could drop in for a coffee and a chat if I was passing, people who would come by on a weekend and we might have an impromptu party. None of my friends have ever been like that, None of the people I've made friends with recently are like that....

I sometimes drive past the few streets in my village, and I imagine that there are people inside the houses who would love to be friends. But somehow we all live our lives in our small way and we don't make contact.

That's okay venus I was just being a bit self-pitying I probably should make the effort to go at least do the dog-walking thing (maybe the dog will make friends, even if I don't!)

Thanks faire

pop I did consider joining the Cinnamon Trust charity, even filled out an application - but chickened out!

I am so glad we're on the last page of this thread, and hopefully not many people will see my patheticness before we get a new board (BTW, thanks to venus for setting that up)

Thanks babes and I hope you're doing okay too? pop?

Oh and aliasjoey1 is me, for some reason when I login on the computer that's what it comes up as - and I don't know how to change it I'm not incognito or schizophrenic

Hey Joey (both you and your alter ego....though don't think adding a 1to your normal username would be a particularly effective alias ...). Just wanted to say you are not whiny at all. At our age people do have busy lives, it is easy to let friendships slide and I bet a lot of people are in your position. When my ds was born I had left a very sociable showbizzy job and then my dad died and suddenly I found myself alone in the day with a baby and my sadness and nobody to talk to. It was such a step change from my previous existence. I remember one old friend I had from childhood cancelled a long trip to see my as her baby was ill and she didn't want to infect my new ds and I felt bereft! But it did get better, I did end up making new mum friends in my area but it happened organically and it took time. It's easier when they are little I think, and some friends drift away as the kids get older... There are websites, like dating sites but for friends. Will see if I can find what they are called. Or common interests can bring new friendships .... I met a lot of people on the PA at the kids school. Don't give up lovely Joey. Some of my best friends have come from the most unexpected places. Lots of hugs, and if you are ever up North you can come and meet me!

A reminder that now we are on the last page THE NEW THREAD is ready and waiting for us when all the space here is filled up.

NEW THREAD

DON'T GET LEFT BEHIND

What we could do with is a little bit of Isinde's poetry to carry us nicely over to the NEW THREAD

Or even some dirty limericks

Only 10 posts left until the NEW THREAD

Looking forward to the new thread. Not sure how to post a link though. Hoping i can get more involved and get to know you all a bit more

There once were some babes on a bus
All making a terrible fuss
About threads new and old
And advice big adndbold
About how not to turn into a lush

In a world where the men seem to win
They put stereotypes in the bin
Found friendship online
And put down the wine
Taking lapses right on the chin

Now over to a shiny new thread
Whilst putting the children to bed
With soda and grins
We swerve vodka and gins
In favour of being level of head

Feel free to add verses to finish this thread.

Post post post

Oh bugger, what does it take to finish this bloody thread?

It

Takes

Four

Words

And a full stop

.