The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

PS completely addicted to I'm a Celebrity watching it with DD2. Creates a good bit of 'us' time.

Hope I completely get the hormonal teenage syndrome - I've got 2 of them. It doesn't matter what I say - it is wrong! A lie. How could I possibly know how they feel. I hate you. Can I have. it goes on and on !!!

Nuff you sound so positive, it's good to read your posts. glad all is good in Nuff household x

Morning babes,

faire venus and spanna. I absolutely love reading your posts. There is calm acceptance even thankfulness of being AF. It's so important to see being sober as a totally positive experience, instead of a sacrifice, thank you for reminding us.

Dh is away camping for the weekend (yip you heard right, in Scotland) normally it would allow me to drink myself silly but I'm off to IKEA to get the last bits for dd2's room then I will enjoy a weekend of being with my wonderful dd's, be present and enjoy the small stuff, the fact that everyone trusts me makes me want to be the person they all believe I can be, hearing my dd2 giggle as we dance like no ones watching gives me a high that wine could never replace.

I thank God I can see that now, I hope I always will xxx

Have a good one!!!

If j don't post again today, I'm lost in IKEA, send help my friends xxx

Please can I hop on the bus? I don't know if I'm an alcoholic or what, but I'm really reassessing my relationship with alcohol. I don't want to wake up and feel that squirming sense of shame that I was the drunkest, or that I can't remember what I said, or that I can remember and it was embarrassing. Or open a bottle most nights because I don't want to feel something that's uncomfortable. When I do have a glass, I don't want to stop, I want ALL OF THE ALCOHOL, EVER.

Anyway, I've been reading the threads and they are so inspiring - to see people change and become more positive and calm. You all seem amazing.

So... I'm on Day 3 AF now.

venus your week sounds amazing. I have been reading A LOT about sobriety and everyone says that once you get over the initial hurdles life is so much better sober than you could ever imagine. I know it must be the truth but its hard on day 3 to see it, feeling grotty and knowng its friday...

welcome gainsborough. Day 3 is excellent going.
venus sorry but that's classified information and if I tell you I will have to kill you.

well, dd2 has decided - she's going to the BF's for Christmas. Cue sulky DD1, hurt DH, sad DS and me trying to pretend its all fine and feeling miserable. Just won't be the same....

I'm so sorry to keep going awol, I have been reading but it seems like so much effort to login and post sorry, I'm just being completely useless

Hope you're all doing okay, welcome project

Welcome Project I am 'an all of nothing girl' with no off button I have found that Day 3 to Day 7 the hardest days. If you can crack the first week it seems to be that first hurdle. I have honestly got to Day 3 more times than I can remember and felt I should reward myself for being AF. The best way (or 'saying' in my head) for me is 'watch the film through to the end'. This to me is a mantra that has really sat with me. If I watch my film to the end I know I will (in a group situation) make sure that no-one gets the lion share of the wine, I will be the one to suggest 'we get another bottle', I will drink faster than everyone at my table , I get louder and louder, I will carry on drinking once I get home, already pissed, there is so much more to that list AND then there's the next morning or in most cases those early hours, when I wake up with a mouth like a gorilla's armpit, the creeping feeling of anxiety etc etc Horrible Your post resonated so much with me, it could have been me you were writing about. You've come to the right place, we are all a lovely lot and you will get some good support from Babes that really know how it feels x

Joey Good to see you You are not useless. You are our lovely Joey x

Project just reread my post I meant all or nothing girl not 'of' , typing in the dark tis no good

Work how's it going? Day 3 is really good, keep going lovely

Do you think we should send out a search party for Baby what if she's lost in IKEA?
Right who's driving? Ma Hope Indie where are you? lets go get Baby

evenin' all.

Welcome project, or do you prefer gainsborough? I also identify with what you say. One is never enough, is it?

I'm on Day 19 and really beginning to feel the benefits of being clear headed (other than snot, I've got a rotten cold), clear(er) skinned and more level. If that makes sense.

I stupidly gave in to marketing and have ordered a case of wine for Christmas. At the moment, I'm not sure how I'm going to handle it. I don't want to drink and I don't want not to. I'm kicking myself for ordering it.

venus, I'm so envious of your lovely week. I'm a Highlander and there is a piece of my heart that stays there.

baby, you're sounding on great form. Hope Ikea was fun and you got some lovely things.

Off to bed with a virgin Lemsip for me.

Aw, thanks all for the welcome

spanna I could have written your post too.

April don't beat yourself up! Christmas is going to be a bugger. I don't know what the right advice is, beyond just looking at one day at a time...

Oh and project or gainsborough is fine with me. I just really wanted to talk about it with real people, so it isn't a fad or something that's all in my head.

Day 3 completed. We went out, which was tough, but I just kept sucking away at my virgin cocktail. It was a soft entry into going out as just me and DH got drinks and cinema. Still haven't worked out how I'm going to deal with seeing my 'booze' friends.

Back on day one

Had to see my ex, who is ds1's father, and he always goes out of his way to belittle me and yesterday he made me cry. And i drank. Not a good excuse but i did. And I just kept on going, sounds like a lot of us tend to do that.

Going to take on board spanna's comment on days 3-7 being the hardest and plough through it head down this time.

Thanks spanna I've just become so lethargic and introverted, and find it so hard to go anywhere or do anything. I have few friends and it's difficult to meet new people without alcohol for Dutch courage.

I joined the "smart" organisation hoping to find local meetings, b but can't see one near me. I do love the Bus, but you know, it's words on a screen. Lovely words, lovely babes, but still...

I'm lonely I think maybe I drove away my friends years ago with my stupid drinking, and have not made any new ones. Sorry this is becoming very self-pitying!

Mornings babes,

Well I survived IKEA, I'm definitely missing the gene which most women possess that connects IKEA with hope for Scandi living And organisational euphoria, it's just a maze that makes my heart race and my bank card pulse with dread in my pocket.

So last night was tough, both my girls stayed over at my friends house so I was all alone at "Casa Baby". I hate being on my own and the house is a total state because of the wee one's room furniture being scattered in every room. Was also very tired and very angry with dh for buggering off camping and leaving me to heave big bloody wardrobes about on my own. So anger, chaos and tiredness plus opportunity, could have ended very badly!!! BUT today the same issues would still be present and no doubt magnified and accompanied by a raging hangover, so I guess I dodged a bullet there.

I read this week that the singer Adele has stopped drinking because the next day she gets "the fear", it's the most accurate 2 word description I've ever heard to some up the feeling I've had so many times, I almost want it tattooed somewhere, even saying it gives me it IFYSWIM.

Anyway I'll be back soon to say hi to everyone else, taking my 5 year old riding on her wee Shetland, she looks soooo cute, so does dd, kidding xxxx

joey what's up babe? Sounds like you've been struggling for a wee while. Can I help at all?

april could you give it to someone else as a Christmas present? Well done on 19 days, sorry to hear you're under the weather but am sure you'll recover quicker and feel much better soon due to not adding alcohol to the mix.

Keep at it work, it's suprising how the days add up when you only do one at a time x

spanna I'm an IACGMOOH fan too.

joey we are always here for a chat/moan/laugh. I know it's not the same as RL friends, sorry that you're feeling low at the moment. How about a little check in with the voice recognition

How's dd these days, any more teen dramas? I had one myself this week with ds but it's all been dealt with now. Onwards we go...

ma great to hear that ds is throwing himself into his new hobbies. They never cease to surprise us do they. My ds has taken up guitar and fencing. Also acquired a whole new set of friends and a delightful girlfriend. He is smitten. Sounds like Christmas will be different for you this year. Lots of change for a lot of us at the moment.

Time to start practising for the carol singing do we think?

Oh, I'm just feeling sorry for myself because I haven't got any friends, and I don't know how to make new ones. I've tried mumsnet, Facebook and even netmums... I just need to get out there and DO something instead of sitting around drinking/not drinking

DD is having the usual teenage dramas, but at least she's got friends to fall out with... (I suspect someone's going to slap me with Barry soon for being so whiny!)

babyj glad to hear you made it out of Ikea safely

Right young lady. Enough of this moping. It is nearly time to get the bus choir underway for Carol singing and I seem to remember you being in charge of the song sheets last year. I am preparing my triangle for public view.....

Who or what is Barry???

baby yes, 'the Fear' or the galloping horrors...

joey could you maybe join something, like a cookery class or night school or something that you're into. It's a horrid feeling, I know.

Thanks ma

project Barry is the squid you get slapped with if you're being too self-pitying. Don't worry about all the in-jokes, most of them don't even make sense to us!

Guide to the Bus

Barry - the slapping squid
Opal Fruits - bus treats
ODAAT - One Day at a Time (our acronym for 'keep buggering on')
Seth - bus dog
Madge - bus cat
Henry - bus camel
Ma's triangle - wot she likes to keep polished as she is always meeting soldiers and the Queen
Wankbadger - an unsupportive joy-sucker

HorridBabyDoll - hideous toy doll (much loved by child) lurking somewhere at the back
Roger the Roofrack - risky place on top of the bus for controlled drinkers
The Sidecar of Shame - safe place with squishy cushions and warm blankets for those who are drinking (and suffering hangovers) but still want to post
Smock of Smug - voluminous kaftan type garment for anyone feeling self-satisfied
Driver's cap - for anyone who wants to take to the driving seat and lead us somewhere (or nowhere) in particular
Veg patch - much loved babe called Ladame may be found rummaging here
MIA - Absent babes/regulars/irregulars who haven't posted for a while, much missed and in our thoughts often.

Can I ask what everyone's long term goals are with drinking?

I know deep down that, being the kind of drinker I am, I will need to give up for good, but I'm not sure if I'm there yet, if that makes sense. Right now I know that we are going away in four weeks and I really want to be af at least until then. And I don't want to think beyond that in case I go into "oh sod it" mode.

joey I've always been rubbish at making friends, when ds1 was little I was so lonely. It has only been through changes of circumstances that I have made friends but, weirdly, none of it has involved alcohol. In fact I avoid drinking with friends as I suspect they are all rather normal drinkers and I don't want to expose my drinking behaviour . Maybe putting yourself in a social situation that doesn't involve drinking might help you make friends, I know it'll be scary to start off with but often the scary things turn out best.