The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

Work I call it the 'fuck it' button I am the same as you, there is no way I can drink occasionally or once in a while, or in moderation! Try not to look too far ahead. If it's any help, I decided to try to be AF for 100 days, it was tough but I got there and then I just carried on. Why not aim to be AF until you go away and then re-assess then. That will give you a month to get your momentum going and you can see how you feel then.

Joey are there any of your old friends that you can make contact with, suggest a coffee, or a meal out? or has it been too long, you can but try, or would you rather not have them as friends anymore? Suggestions to meet people - book club, dog walking, keep fit, a Knit & natter group, or as Project suggested, an evening class in something that you've always wanted to do - drawing, sewing, woodcarving, a foreign language, glass blowing? I really feel for you darling, since I've been AF I have distanced myself from various boozy friend (which I now realise is quite a number of people) and my friendship group has depleted somewhat. Or how about volunteering somewhere where you can make a real difference to people's lives - local day centre, school, charity shop, soup kitchen. I hope one of these tugs you in some way. Take care and above all be kind to yourself x

Baby so glad you survived IKEA. I've only been twice for the very reason you describe, the winding isles and it all seems so cheap, the stuff in the baskets, 99p there, 1.99 here and before you know it, your fainting at the till when it all comes to a grand total of £100, all for stuff that I didn't really need Huge well done for your solo evening, you done good babe

The bus guide makes us all sound completely and utterly bonkers. I didn't know we had a cat! There is also a dog called Spirit who rides in the sidecar to keep people company.
MIA at the moment are ladame, indie, wry, rural, thurso, khalisi, socfish......and many others. Hope they are all OK.

I loved the guide, thank you. I read the first thread from start to finish - does anyone know what happened to JWN?

All this has got me thinking. I have always, always been attracted to 'wild' people and dismissed straighter types as being boring. Even at school, when hanging round with the bad kids lead to some awful, self-esteem damaging stuff. When I look back, I might have had more in common with the people I labeled as 'squares'.

Sorry if this makes me sound like massive dick! I think it's a long-winded way of saying I need to rethink the way I approach my friendships.

Morning babes,

joey how are you feeling today? I know exactly what you mean about meeting friends, as we get older and have less time (and energy) we find ourselves going less new places so meeting less new people, wouldn't it be amazing if we had a "bus convention" with spa treatments, motivational speakers and style makeovers, I wish you were all my friends in RL, I suspect my life would be so different if you were!!!

gain that's what I'm going to call you? Because on here you will gain friends, gain confidence and gain AF days so a huge warm welcome to you babe.

I know it looks like some of us are that are living AF, are leading this spiritually, enlightened, grateful life but I only mention all the good stuff on here so I remember it all when I want to drink.

Here's the thing, alcohol makes everyone feel special, when I'm drunk I'm way more interesting, definitely funnier, always thinner and ofcourse I never look 44. That first glass/bottle transforms everyone. It makes us less ordinary, makes us feel alive, special, the best, hottest, smartest version of ourself and I miss that feeling terribly.

Being sober is necessary for me I suspect I will die one way or another if I keep bingeing as I have but while my life is calmer, it is not dynamic or full of possibility, it is mostly boring, unremarkable and sometimes tedious and when I drink, the first flush of wine brings light, warmth and the ability to feel fabulous, even if it's an illusion, it's real in that moment and I miss that bit soooo bad.

I just don't want anyone to think I am floating around In a boho outfit picking wild berries for a jam because I'm sober, I miss that floaty euphoria. BUT as high as I floated, I later sank into the bowels of a depression that made me drink more, more quickly, any drink I could find? At any time of day or night until I was unconscious, this could go on for weeks before I could "get back" to this life.

I don't know how many "get back" lives I have left so after 6 weeks sober, I'm starting to learn new ways to be fabulous, though it's taking longer than I hoped!!!

So today I will not be drinking!!!! ODAAT xxx

Lovely post baby

Much of life is humdrum. The days turn into weeks, the weeks into months and before we know it, there's another year gone and we still have the same regrets.

That's why I do think it's changing the little things that make the difference. Because our days are made up of all those little moments and if we don't enjoy them or even really acknowledge them, life is passing us by.

For me, my long term goal is 1 day at a time. I never used to understand that when I read about people who had given up drinking totally and they still said it was just about one day. Now I get it.

joey I've never been to an AA meeting but wonder if that might be a place to meet like minded people? Friends who want to socialise without drink, who may like to go to an evening class with you, or catch up over coffee and cake?

Shout out also to beaches - got any snow yet?

I am not being the back of the camel this year!

Ooh, is it Nativity rehearsal time already? Should I get my triangle out?
I am currently eating my way through a family sized bag of peanut M &M's. Somebody stop me!!!!

ma stop you! I wanna join you!!!

Standing hand out trying to flag down a bus to maville xxx

Sorry baby. If only you had been a leetle bit quicker....

To any who are feeling a bit or about all the "in-jokes" stuff, I have been posting since the beginning and I HATE green opal fruits, I have no idea where Barry the Squid appeared from (I must have been awol for that addition), and the boxing ring analogy or when I'm posting I mostly just ignore that stuff - so please do not be put off if you don't understand things or feel put off by them. And also, if there is anything you don't understand -ever- things like One Day At A Time (ODAAT) or the boxing ring analogy, or "Keep on keeping on" or whatever - please ask. If you look back over posts you will see that loads of us have asked similar questions over the years, and I think everyone has had a gracious answer...

Grr - I typed a big and lovely message to joey and it has gone 'phut'...

I'm retreating to bed in disgust at my computer.

I actually have enjoyed a mundane weekend and am feeling very pleased with myself for having completed loads of projects that have been lying around for ... actually years.

I always wondered how other people got stuff done, but it's because they're not pissed, isn't it?

Been a little bit irritable, though. DH insisted on getting a bottle of wine for lunch and has been prattling on about getting a decanter and posh glasses, even though I explained that's not where my head's at the moment. But I 'watched the film until the end' and realised if I joined him I would end up in a drunken puddle on the sofa having done fuck all and in chaos in the morning.

So yes... mostly smug with a side order of irritation.

Project Huge Well Done x

Morning all. Welcome project. Waves to everyone and gives lovely friend joey a big hug. If you are ever in south London come and have a cuppa with your mate pop. Friendships can be hard especially sustaining them when you feel low and not very worthy. Well you ARE worthy. The world can be a tricky place but hang on in there , humanity usually sorts things out and you have a good kArma. On way to work meeting on bus. Back later.

Morning babes,

pop I'm loving your posts, you've always got great advice and you sound really good "in yourself", keep em coming xxx

gain. Huge well done, I found the early days the hardest, it's breaking the habit and filing that headspace and letting yourself "feel" RL feelings which can be a difficult journey. I'm so glad your using that time in a positive way, you will find as your life and house becomes structured so will your mind. I had nightly baths with candles and all that during the early days, done face masks, nails, fake tan, as I started to look and feel better (as did my house) it kinda made being AF a more positive experience. It also helps to keep your wine money in a jar and buy something decadent, lippy, facial, massage, new hair style, your going brilliantly girl!!

joey you are FABULOUS and don't you forget it!!! Mwah xxxx

It's bloody freezing here, seriously Baltic, bus hug required!!!

I've spent the weekend holed up in the side car but now this is it, have poured away the last of the white wine (not telling OH, he'd be horrified by the waste) and i have becks blue and fizzy water in the fridge. I feel ready

I spend most of my life in the sidecar!
Dd2 not well -again. Doctor suspects glandular fever and she has exams next month. Great.
mouse is in hospital and very ill. Send her get well vibes everyone.

Get well soon beautiful mouse, we love ya girl xxx

Get well mouse. And get well ma's dd. Im knackered and off to bed. Good vibes peace and understanding all round especially to those babes who are struggling. joey hope you feeling a bit better. baby you are ace. Let's look after each other.

Lost password and only logged in on phone so can't post and long messages but wanted to send love to you all and wrap you up in a cosy blanket on this cold morning. ((Bus hugs)). And get well soon Mouse and Ma's dd. Struggling a little here to not drink but trying to find other ways through the stress. Being on permanent 'driving the kids' duty is saving me atm #blessingsindisguise

Morning All.

I've been back in the side car all weekend (ok, and yesterday), but DH has very gently pointed out how much I have been drinking, so I am back on day one, and in need of a kick up the backside.

I need to go and do my CBT, but I'll be back to name check later.

sweet glad you posted. Take courage. Have an opal fruit. And a . Only on day 2 myself. Let's do it together. The beauty of this thing is that you can get back on it any time you choose everyday is a new day. And you know you have the skills, experience and cojones to stay sober for today. Let's do it. Remember the good feelings. I'm in the midst of house price negotiations. I suggested booze to DP. He came home with a bottle of tonic water. Result. All aboard!

hope you are doing brilliantly. Keep up that taxi service

Good morning babes,

Does anyone with school age kids get fed up when you return home after the school run and the house looks it's been ransacked!!!! I spend the first hour of my day just picking up clothes, towels, dirty weetabix plates (all dried up and the residue surgically attached to the plate), it's soul destroying like Groundhog Day....

sweet pop is so right, you have the tools to get back on track, I will join you both on not drinking today.

Last night dh had a bottle of red and wouldn't stop talking and loudly too. I always thought summer was the hardest time to be AF but all I'm hearing at the school gates is mum's saying how they can't wait for a nice big glass of white/red to warm their minds and bodies on these cold, dark, dreery boring evenings. It's tough when one day runs into the next with not much to look forward to, wine and good food seems to be the order of the day. Each day I kid myself on I'll come home and have a coffee before going to the gym when I know perfectly well once I'm in I'm going nowhere. It makes me feel better, helps my depression and makes me want yo eat better and yet I'm sitting here feeling fat and slovenly typing this,

The mind boggles!!!!
Xxx

Hi everyone,

Sorry I've been AWOL, madly busy in Margieland at the mo! Mouse and Ma's dd, hope you're feeling better. Baby I loved your post from Sunday, every single word rang true. Hello everyone else, I've just been catching up on all the posts and you are all so wise.

I was AF from Sunday to Thursday last week and then it all went horribly wrong. My bro and his wife came over (I live in foreign lands) and so we went out for dinner, drinks, etc, etc with my MIL's birthday party somewhere in the middle just for good measure.

I still can't get past that feeling that by Thursday/Friday night, if I've been AF all week (or even if I haven't TBH) that I bloody well deserve a drink! It's the only thing I want.

Pop, I have indulged myself with a millionaire's shortbread, so I will save the Opal fruits for later . You're right, I've done this before, I know it feels good, and today will be easy because I won't be home from work until late, and once I get past 7pm, I have much less desire to start. Are your house price negotiations for a house you want or your current place?

Baby I have managed to persuade DS to confine his mess to his room - so I stand at the door and try not to look in! But, he (and DH) is incapable of judging whether things in the dishwasher are clean, and can therefore be taken out and put away, or dirty and can be added to. And NEITHER of them can stack the damn thing properly (the way I do it ). I got like that with the gym - I had to do the school run with my kit in the car, otherwise, I never got there. Now, I have Pup to make sure I get at least an hour and a half a day, and as an excuse that I have no time for the gym!

Margie Sunday to Thursday is a good stretch that got hijacked, this week can you plan to do things that won't be so tempting at the weekend?