The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

I wrote 'tiddly' becuase it sounds cute and Winnie-the-Poohish.

Even to my Bus Babes im pretending that drinking isnt a big deal...

joey that's a great achievement and one I wish I could do. Nowt tiddly about it but I can see why minimising can help.

Hi everyone, I am a lurker on this thread. I gave up alcohol in September (I'm attending therapy). Everything is going very well for me. I can't believe how easy it is to stay off the booze - trying to quit was the hardest part. I am already thinking about Christmas and wondering what nice drink can replace wine! Can I ask for your Christmas tips and tipples ? Thanks!

Margie welcome back. Stick with us and if you feel you are being drowned out in all the chatter, just shout louder shove someone off the front seat and make a stand
gabby welcome to you and well done. Sounds like you are on top of things and good idea to plan ahead. I will be drinking at Christmas, no point pretending otherwise, but hopefully less and more controlled. Favourite NA drinks are a tonic and lime, or a cocktail of some sort. Waitrose do a lovely rose lemonade which isn't sickly sweet.

Thanks dementedma, I would like to think I could have 1-2 glasses of wine with Christmas dinner but I don't know if I can trust myself. I'm afraid of setting myself off again e.g. I'll want 2 glasses on Boxing Day, then 2 the next day etc. Right now, I don't think of wine anymore and it's such a gift. I've spoken to my counsellor about it and he can't advise me, he said I would have to make that decision for myself.

welcome back margie, glad you decided to stick with us.

gabby, I'm not thinking about Christmas yet. If I look too far in the future, it reaks me out and I end up drinking. The only day I'm thinking about is today. Favourite softies are the French sodas from M&S (the lemon and hibiscus and spiced berry are particular favourites) and really good hot chocolate. None of your low fat crap.

Talking of Christmas, I'm planning to make Christmas pudding next weekend on Stir Up Sunday. How do those who are AF feel about booze in food? Avoid totally?

pop thanks, but by saying 'tiddly' I meant I was a bit drunk - but actually I was a LOT drunk, and was going to bed way too late again. So you're right it was minimising

I think that's a good plan Margie. One of the things that really helps is changing habits. What time do you usually have your first drink? Could you change where you are at that time, or eat earlier?

Get lots of sugary snacks in and alternative soft drinks. Lots of us like fizzy drinks but not too sweet, so lime & soda, tonic water with ice and lemon. Aim to be in bed early with a good book/mn.

Most importantly, don't think too far ahead, just aim to get through each hour. If you need help come here and shout out. Someone will be along to keep you company.

joey well done getting to day 7

Welcome to the bus Gabby, it's lovely to hear how positive you are feeling about not drinking. Christmas is too far away to think about now. I always think that's the wine witch whispering in your ear and if you listen to her, she will have her wicked way with you. Tell her to bog off. Enjoy your Sunday

Hi babes,

margie so glad your sticking with us, the support on here can make so much difference, well done girl xxx

gabby well done on your amazing achievement, I know it's a lovely thought having a few wines (like normal people do) but I've stopped many many times and as soon as I drink one glass, it's a bottle then a binge It is of course your decision but you sound happy, grounded and content with your AF status, that's seems like a great place to be and to stay!!!!!

Hi to everyone, it's rainy and horrid here, dh is huffy cos he's on call (can't go to the pub for a few) dd2 and my niece squabbling incessantly because they got up too early and I've eaten too many mini flapjacks!!!! One day at a time eh!!!!

Hey gabby you sound like you've got to a really good place. Keep on going! What type of therapy are you having if you don't mind me asking?
I'm still decluttering and decorating ahead of the big potential move. When will it end? Well ... Imyhursday actually. I had to have the house on the market by then. Apparently. According to estate agents.

Thanks everyone for that lovely welcome :). And great advice about Christmas. I will put it out of my mind until nearer the time.

evil I am having psychotherapy and I find it life changing. I went for food and alcohol issues. I was when my counsellor starting asking all about my marriage, my parents etc. I really didn't understand the connection with my life and alcohol but now I understand. I tried cutting down my alcohol intake for a year, it worked for a few months but it increased terribly over the summer. I went back to therapy in September, my counsellor talked to me and I quit the next day. Right now he is my life line .... I will keep seeing him as long as I need to. It's private therapy, but I feel this cost is a necessary investment in my health and mental well being.

Margie glad you didn't leave - even if you mostly lurk you will probably find yourself nodding your head in agreement at some of the posts - well either that or mentally giving them a slap for being rude!

Welcome gabby I like things that are not too sweet, so grapefruit juice with tonic, or freshly squeezed lime with soda. I also like fruit teas (the funny twinings varieties) and I sometimes make that with a tiny bit of hot water - to get the flavour out - and then top it up with soda and fruit (slices or orange, sliced strawberry, a glace cherry, cucumber slice). I make it in a big jug looking like a jug of sangria and I never run out - unless some other bugger decides to drink my drink.

Thanks for the support everyone, good to be back. Faire in answer to your questions, I have an extremely stressful job and two DCs under 5, so I tend to see booze as my reward/stress-release at the end of every day.

Hi Gabby, lovely to meet you, I was so interested to hear your story. Sounds like you are doing so well, I can't imagine not wanting booze every day. In terms of how alcohol fits in with the rest of your life, I have been wondering about this a lot...am I depressed because I drink or do I drink because I'm depressed? Or are the two not necessarily linked?

Hi Margie, I also suffer from depression. My alcohol use would increase when I was depressed but drinking made me feel so much worse, yet I couldn't stop reaching for it on a near daily basis. One of the first things my counsellor told me was NOT to reach for alcohol to suppress any emotion or feeling. You are supposed to feel the emotion, no matter how painful it is. He told me emotions are stored away and they stay with you unless you deal with them. If you drink alcohol when you are feeling sad, angry, stressed, anxious, depressed .... It just pushes the emotions back down, you never deal with them properly and they will keep coming back until you deal with them. That's the science part!

In reality, this meant not reaching for wine at the end of a stressful day at work, not drinking when you are feeling angry, or when your OH is pissing you off, not drinking when you are feeling sad etc. This was very hard for me to put into practice. I continued drinking for another year but I drank less and in a more controlled way. In the meantime, we started to dealt with issues in my life that were causing me to feel down. My depression hit in the summer and my alcohol use started to spiral out of control .... I knew it was time to stop completely. My counsellor sat me down, maintained absolute eye contact with me and spoke for approx 10 minutes. He mentioned the word 'alcoholic' - I still don't know if he said I was one or if I was headed that way, but his words were enough to make me want to stop. And I did. I genuinely don't miss it at all now. My old life with alcohol was hellish and I will never go back to that.

I am very fortunate not to suffer from endogenous depression - so for me the after effects of alcohol (as a depressant and as an anxiety stimulator) are very clear. After alcohol - particularly in any prolonged use - my mood is flat, lethargic and unhappy. I am also jittery and nervy, jumping at small noises and agoraphobic.

One of the consequences of prolonged alcohol use is the depletion of Vitamin B in your body. Vitamin B is needed for skin repair, hair growth, repair of cells in our body and the healthy functioning of nerve cells. That's why sometimes when people stop drinking (and their vitamin B levels return to normal) their skin looks like it is glowing, their hair is swishy and they might even start to feel a bit of a "boing" - that delicious feeling when you get out of bed one morning and suddenly feel like you're OK, maybe even better than OK, and you have the energy that has been lacking for so long.

If you suffer from depression then maybe it's not going to be quite as clear cut as that - but some on here might also say that their antidepressants don't work as well when they are also drinking.

Hi babes,

As most of you know I started drinking very heavily after developing PND, I went on to have a nervous breakdown and began mega binge drinking every 6-8 weeks and I mean dangerous bingeing, the kind of bingeing people sometimes don't wake up from. Before the breakdown I was on 1-2 bottles a night and wondered why the anti depressants weren't working, it is a medical fact that alcohol is an antidote to the essential components in AD's that make us feel better. I didn't know this and I wish I had known, this knowledge is one of the key motivating factors preventing me from drinking, I'm terrified of going back "into the dark",I'm more terrified of depression than not drinking IYSWIM.

I'm not trying to preach or scare anyone but if you really want to get the optimum result from you AD's, God knows I needed every bit of help I could get then stopping drinking, even for a while til you get the good of the tablets will help you so so much in your recovery from the hell that is depression.

I'm 5 weeks sober and right now couldn't care less if I never drank again but it's been a long, rocky road.

ONE DAY AT A TIME GO I

Xxx

Afternoon, tis me, Mouse

baby - I LOVE LOVE LOVE that post!! That was me too. It's like dieting but only eating chocolate and cake because they give you such wonderful highs.... it's the lows that do the damage, because the next piece of cake, bowl of ice-cream, bar of chocolate will always have to be bigger to reach the same high, all the while the scales are going up and you're going further and further down.

There are lots of ways to look at drinking and why we do it..... there are triggers for us all, some serious and life threatening, some not so, but the rest you don't even notice because they're there, part of you all of the time.

I've met some of the bravest people in my life on this thread. Just because of their pure honesty.

Hi everyone,

I think I should clarify that I've never been diagnosed with depression - what happens to me is exactly what Venus describes - when I'm drinking I'm flat, lethargic, unhappy. And the more I drink the worse it gets...and the worse it gets the more I drink.

Gabby your counselling sounds amazing, I could definitely benefit from something like that. I had a lot of trouble accepting that I was an alcoholic - I couldn't share at AA for ages because I couldn't say the word after my name. But I know that I am - my DH is a normal drinker and I know I can't drink like him, even though God knows I've tried! But I think I grieve for the fact that I can't change and I can't moderate and my only option is to give up.

Thanks for letting me share here, it's a good place to be

Hey all
A dark and stormy night out there so tucked up in bed. Sober. Again. I have, quietly, been doing quite well. Down to a glass a night from a bottle a night and not even enjoying that particularly so will just keep on reducing.
Early start tomorrow with meeting government in Edinburgh, then off to London Wednesday...still hanging on to my job by the skin of my teeth though, but not beaten yet.

Morning.

Hope if goes well for you ma

Well done ma. Day one here. On a bloody Tuesday. But only one pint at a gig. Good for me. No drinking this week now. I feel a good momentum on this bus right now babes! Best versions of ourselves this rainy Tuesday. Waves to all.

Morning all,

Time off the month, horrid cramp, I'm having a duvet day!!!

Good luck today lovely ma

Well done pop and a fab post to set us up for the day, you sound really really good, so good to see you on the up and up xxx

Morning All.

Back to day one for me. I went to an awards ceremony on Saturday night for a film festival, and the social anxiety got the better of me. Only one glass, but then a bottle on Sunday, and another last night .

I need my ADs to be working better, so I am going to take a leaf out of Baby's amazing book.

Hi sweet, one glass is bloody brilliant, I have the ridiculous ethos that if I'm drinking I want to feel something, tipsy at the very least so it's a feast or a famin for me, therein lies the problem.

Don't forget in the "normal world" it's totally reasonable to have a glass, even a bottle here and there so I salute you on keeping it real and I'm sure it won't affect you AD's, sometimes a glass is exactly that,a nice chilled glass of pleasant wine, nothing more nothing less so your still a star to us!!!!

Hi faire how are you my lovely friend. I was thinking of you last night when I dug out my wii and Xbox to start trying a few of the workout discs I've bought. Your new healthy attitude is rubbing off on me. I'm not doing my usual all or nothing, not overthinking it just half an hour excercise a day and clean eating. Saying that I've eaten way too many cakes and biscuits in the last week but when it's that time of the month, all sensibility goes out the window.

Made a gorgeous home made lentil soup yesterday which I watched my family enjoy with chunks of French stick, sadly with Crohn's I cannot eat it or I'd end up in hospital.

It's not fair as I love it sooo much and I'm a really good soup maker. Thank god I can't make wine!!!

Xxx

Lovely posts. sweet lets do day one together . It's very brave of everyone to talk about their mental health so openly. It's about time there was less stigma and folk would not have to hide behind alcohol or anything else. I've not had a diagnosis of depression but think I had undiagnosed PND after my first child for quite a long while and responded by drinking. I recognise what venus said about feeling flat ,unhappy and nervy due to prolonged heavy drinking and think that my drinking has led to depressive symptoms. I would like some therapy. Need to decide what and how. My DP is against therapy for reasons long and complex although ironically his sister is a psychotherapist. I've had terrible periods of panic attacks ( pre children when in a very difficult relationship) and post children ( becoming a mum made me very anxious again and I also suffered terrible social anxiety which is better now but still rears its ugly head usually when I least expect it). Alcohol is no friend in all of this. It back to it I turn time and time again.