The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

Never heard of Elizabeth is Missing! Thanks.

Day 5. How are you feeling today ma ?

Waves to faire pop sweets babyj april spanna and margie

Better today thanks joey
Anyone heard from indie recently?
Just discovered the old inhaler I had found and was using expired in 2009! Yuk.

Elizabeth is Missing is a great read, I can recommd it for the kindle list.

Joey I might go all the way to Christmas with you, or at least to the week before Christmas. That's a whole five weeks away, I can get a good detox in before the over-indulging starts.

Actually one of my favourite teas is a Pukka called detox. It's aniseed, fennel, cardamom and licorice root. I drink it for the taste rather than the detox but nice to know it's supposed to be doing me some good too.

Morning, managed to get up at 5.30, thinking it was an hour later, only discovered the real time after my first coffee, so no going back now!

Sorry, I disappeared last night, I got caught up binge-watching Nurse Jackie - yup, addiction is entertainment in this house .

April, that's quite a collection of senior moments!

Margie, hop back on poppet. The bus is anything but cliquey, we are all here for the same reason, we are struggling. Some of the Babes have been here a long time, some a matter of days or weeks, but it's like getting into a soap, after a couple of episodes, you forget you weren't even alive when the first episode aired . And unlike the playground, or school gate, we don't give anyone funny looks for joining in; the bus is for everyone who needs nonjudgmental support in their relationship with alcohol.

Ma Elizabeth is Missing is brilliant, I think it was Faire who recommended it to me earlier in the year.

Faire the Ypres clue (if you haven't got it) is to do with the instruction 'Shh' - think about the date on Wednesday..

Joey you must be starting to feel the benefits? Good luck for Day six.

I spent a good part of yesterday evening thinking about going to get a bottle of wine, but had a shower, put PJs on and made mint tea tea until it was too late. In some ways, it's SO easy, don't bloody drink alcohol! In every other way, it is SO hard.

Anyway, my reward was a really good, straight through, sleep, and less bloating around my face this morning. Onwards into day Four (again).

Morning All

look what I've just found [santa] (sorry bit early but could resist)

April you made me laugh out loud x

Sweet never heard of Nurse Jackie Huge well done on resisting the wine x

Ma hope weather ok today, read somewhere that they've named the wind Abigail sounds like it's blowing a hooly up there.

Baby hugs x

Margie what everyone else is saying, you are so welcome here

Joey good luck today, you're doing really well x

Pop have a good day lovely x

• Beaches, Wry, Fox 'where are you? come out, come out where ever you are'

Have a good day everyone. Friday evening can be a huge trigger but remember ladies how good you'll feel waking up on Saturday morning 'hangover free', no headache, no guilt, clear headed, remembering everything that happened the previous evening and everything you said, no night anxiety. Oh it's so not worth that first drink......

xxx

Day one again. Harrumph. Why can't I get past Thursday night? Ended up watching Stacey bloody Dooley and half bottle of wine. Not terrible but I feel rough this morning.

sweet well done ! I need to channel that day four feeling and get the mint tea in.

spanna and baby you are where I want to be and faire too being able to make that longer term commitment.

joey admire your strength
ma hope you fully recovered ( passes green opal fruit found under seat over , sheepishly)
margie hope you feel reassured about the bus. Please stay and let us know how you are getting on.
april no fool indeed.
Waves to everyone else and heads off to work from home.

Ps I think I've got contrary book tastes to you lot I could not finish Elizabeth is missing. Rarely happens I can't finish a book!

I got 20/20 on the quiz.

Only joking

8 on first glance.

Morning, tis me, Mouse

I'm only popping up onto the top deck to keep a look out for Margie

If I see her, I'll pull the emergency stop cord so be warned! ??

Margie - We've ALL felt that little bit intimidated by the 'friendships' formed on the bus when you first read the threads, but we've ALL had a first time to stick our arm and hope the bus stops.

Some of us may have gently motioned our hand, too scared to make a fuss, others lay down in the road, risking being squished so they could get one.

We have new babes all of the time and for me, reading those first few cries for help, remind me just how lucky I am to still be here.

Of course, it's your right not to come back, but the way you posted has certainly got us all wanting you to, even if you pop in now and then, or slowly build up to posting more.....

It'd be good to get to know you, and you us. We don't bite, well, unless you ask nicely! ??

Take care,

Mouse xxx

Morning babes,

margie please please don't leave, if you want to you can look back at previous posts. Ive been so far in the gutter I needed a crisis team to intervene in my life, I was drinking myself unconscious at really dangerous levels only waking up to drink more. I was so lucky I didn't choke on my own vommit, I've puked blood and went through detoxes from hell and I still have relapses!!! Typing it now it hardly feels like I'm talking about myself because I present as a perfectly normal, happy go lucky Mum, always cheery, chatty and a very normal, well presented woman. BUT a dark force (depression) hits me like a train and suddenly I'm counting the minutes to 10 o'clock for the shop, dirty, disheveled and non communitive. I would smell of body odour and puke but still walk through my village and humiliate myself and my family with my walk of shame. I'm deeply ashamed of that version of me and I can't even promise "she" won't come back for me, I live with that every minute of every day. I'm telling you this because I'm pretty sure I've trumped most babes on here with the things I've said and done so don't think we've all got it sorted, we live one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time and we really really want to support new babes because we know where the gutter is!!!! Please stay with us!!!

Big hugs

Love to all babes new and "old" fighting the good fight xxx

I've been trying to think positive about my current drinking pattern. What the bus has given me is three days off a week, every week since I got on. Which is more than I was doing before. And a platform for contemplating the next step which is even more AF time. I do need to guard against rewarding myself with blowouts on the weekend but I am getting there. Little steps. Poco a poco. Is that a phrase?

You might find it easier to cut out Sundays rather than Thursdays pop then you could get four AF days a week, with the added bonus of not feeling tired and hungover on a Monday.

Dh didn't like Elizabeth is Missing either, I think it's a marmite book but worth a try because you don't know which you'll be until you try it. I'm now up to 12/20 but I did need a few clues.

Going to make a steaming hot coffee now and put my feet up for a bit. Teenagers can be infuriating sometimes but at least they do their own thing a lot of the time and I can just kick back and relax

I am about to kill my teenagers Faire. And WB. World War 3 has just broken out over a bloody pizza. Thankfully am going to a gig tonight. Leaving them to it. No doubt WB will be on the phone to his ma bitching about me going out but have worked damned hard all week. Ds and dd are permanently at war, and WB makes it worse by weighing in without establishing the facts. Want to leave home . Dreading Christmas holidays already !

My two would be scrapping if they weren't glued brainlessly to iPads.

On a positive note ... The Polish man drilled my holes and the pole is up

Hey hope sounds familiar. Good for you for getting out.
Ds is driving me nuts because he is bored. This is because his friends on Xbox have all got Black Ops and are playing on line and he doesn't have it. We have bought it for him for his Christmas though and it was bloody expensive. I thought he would be happy but he's already moaning that there is no point getting it for Christmas now as the others are already further on etc. I'm tempted to just throw it at him now in its Christmas paper and say here, have the fucking thing and thanks for spoiling your surprise.
Grrrrr

Hi babes,

An evil spirit has entered the body of my 16 year old. I mean she looks the same (5ft 8 and gorgeous) and has the same voice but she has turned into a witch, I've swapped the wine witch for a teenage one!!!

My only comfort is that she is lovely to everyone else and I'm often praised for raising such a lovely young lady but behind closed doors she can be moody, cruel and hurtful. I'm assured she'll come back to me but I miss my little girl.

My other girl is 5 and thank god she still thinks I'm wonderful but that age brings a whole different set of parental headaches.

All that said they are happy, healthy and still need me, rely on me and trust me after all I've done, I'm so lucky and thankful for that.

I've had a good week, started slimming world in Monday and have enjoyed eating well and going to the gym, nothing crazy just half an hour at a time, despite having to force myself to go, I get a lovely, heady feeling that replaces that first glass sensation, well kinda.

Someone mentioned Nurse Jackie, it's a great programme and as she is an addict, it teally strikes a chord. She's very smart, devoted to her job, loved by all who know and then when she screws up hurts all who love her. She's extremely devious and has the morals of an alley cat when it comes to scoring and taking drugs. It really shows what you can justify to yourself when your need to!!! She is a brilliant nurse, friend but ridiculously flawed. I think there is little of Nurse Jackie in all of us, me certainly.

Anyway for today at least I'm happy and relieved to be sober and safe and loved.

Love to y'all xxx

baby - I love reading your posts. They're so raw and utterly honest.

Hello all other Babes :) I hope that you're all coping tonight..... strange how the weekends still have such a stigma attached for some.... I have a lot of friends who don't drink through the week but make a really big deal about getting to Friday so that they can have a drink.

I have to say that when I was drinking, I didn't care what day, time or season it was.... I was going to drink because I wanted to. End of.

Luckily I didn't have to anywhere but the times that I drove the day after the day/night before, I knew full well that I so far over the limit I'd be banned but took the risk.

Stupid risks.... dangerous risks for me and others around me.

The thing is, then, at that time, I didn't care. I do now.

Stay safe Babes xxx

Hey all
I have been the Royal Gun Salute at Edinburgh castle. Some serious soldier ogling. Cold and wet here today so settling in for a haute cuisine dinner of egg, chips and beans...

Hey ma.

We are on way for swimming lessons then pizza express. Yum.

Waves to pop. Have fun
What is every one else doing?

I seem to have spent the last 3 days either in traffic jams or driving through torrential rain and wind and sleet. So I am most happy tonight to be warm and dry, safe, and full of comfort food :)

I'm back! I got off temporarily but baby and Mouse, you make very convincing arguments for getting back on! Thanks to all of you for your support.

I've had alcohol every night this week but am aiming to start an AF week as of tomorrow, my DH goes away for a week tomorrow and it's always a bit easier to stay AF when I haven't got a partner in crime to open the vino with!

Hope you're all having good weekends.

Welcome back margie! Support and love coming atchya!

Tiddly-pom

Got to day 7