The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

Have = half. Don't half cheer me up. I usually post on my phone - have got butter thumbs.

What flavour does anyone want? I'm having a green one. Are they lime? Or all mixed fruits?

Thanks so much for replying pop.

I'm not sure what made me relapse...probably just pressure from other people. Mine is a drinking family, we drink at weddings, at funerals, because it's raining, because it's Monday, because we're together, etc, etc. TBH I think it would be more shocking to them that I'd given up drinking than anything I could actually do when I'm drunk (almost).

I just feel like I'm in this awful vicious circle at the moment when I have a few good nights on the booze ie. I don't end up shitfaced lying in a gutter, I tell myself that that means I'm not an alcoholic and then I have a day like last Saturday when I don't remember anything after around 5:30pm until I woke up fully clothed on my bed some time in the night. We'd had friends over for lunch, I don't remember them leaving, I was passed out so my DH had to feed the DCs and put them to bed, they were of course witness to all of it. What a fucking disgrace of a mother.

And then literally the next day I thought to myself, well you can't give up drinking now because Christmas is coming and you have to drink at Christmas. I mean...WTF???

Well all of that resonates with me margie. Sounds like a familiar story. You know that you want to do something differently and now is the time. Just for today. Don't think about all the way to Christmas. I do exactly that thing of a couple of days of control so that means I can neck three bottles as a reward. You are not a crap mother. You are another human being trying to cope with the stresses and strains of life and family life. Some of us do this by drinking and find we can't control it. It's not our fault but it is our responsibility. And you are taking that on by being here now. Plan not to drink today and tomorrow. I'll do it with you. I'm off for a shower but will be back in a bit. I'm sure other babes will be along here soon too.

What's your DH's position on drinking and on your drinking?

evil excuse me, but did you just say you were eating the GREEN ones?.
You are perhaps not aware that all green Opal fruits must be handed to me immediately and have to be earned? Don't make me get out horrid baby doll to teach you a lesson!!!
I declare, I don't know what this bus is coming to. I remember the days when I had respect as a senior pisshead on here!

Ermmm. I am clearly revealing myself as s rookie bus member here. I hereby forego all green opal fruits and swear to hand them straight to ma.

Oops. I seek forgiveness

Margie that cycle we can get into is .... well it's a cycle.... But imagine the wheel of that cycle getting bigger and bigger... so the need for a drink gets further away, not in a way where it induces longing, but rather in a way in which the 'need' is far away and distant and has little influence on your feelings...

Thanks pop and venus for your wise words. I know you're right but I also know that I can't imagine my life without booze in it...that is a sad and scary thought for me.

My DH is a Mediterranean man, he has wine pretty much with every meal and I have never seen him drunk, or even close to drunk. So it's pretty hard for him to understand my drinking, even though he obviously gets hugely frustrated with me after an episode like Saturday. He was fairly supportive when I started going to AA although I don't think he likes the idea that he could be married to an (ssshhh...whisper it) alcoholic .

It's s new day.

Hi babes

Thanks for your lovely comments yesterday, it really brings me strength and keeps me in the right track.

margie. I so wish I could give you a hug. I know your not a bad mother because your not drinking arrogantly, your baring your soul and clearly aren't happy with what your doing to yourself and your family so facing change, even with fear shows your brave and posting on here reinforces that.

Giving up booze is like giving up an affair, it makes you feel alive, carefree, you can be anything you want in your in those few wine soaked hours. It takes us away from the tediousness of our lives, the realisation that we're all getting older and fatter and our prospects for the future seem thinner, like the skin under our eyes. It's one of the few things things left that makes us feel safe, warm and alive.

BUT

It's also a vicious, abusive, lover, it will isolate you, make you feel like a terrible person and literally make you sick to the stomach. It will ruin all your other relationships and steal your looks...

You need to mourn the relationship, it takes time to let go, and like most destructive relationships it takes several attempts to break free.

Being on here, knowing your not alone and having support is a great start to a better future.

Big hugs babe xxx

So so true baby.

Where is everyone?

At home with D&V

Oh bless you sweet get better soon

Get well soon Sweet . Hope you're OK. Margie I feel exactly the same - what's the point in stopping drinking now when Christmas is just round the corner? I mean who doesn't drink at Christmas? I'm sick of looking forward to weekends because I can drink more (and fall out with DH and not remember anything and feel ill ). Why?!! Why can't I look forward to the weekend because it's the weekend? When did it all become about bloody booze?!

DH is kind of talking to me again but now the DC's arent because I won't let our dog have puppies! (Shes not pregnant but they want her to be. And for us to keep one of the puppies!!) I think I've got enough to deal with really!! Hope you've all had a good day xx

I agree with ma The night circus is really good.

Sorry I haven't been around, it's good to see everyone. You are sounding really well baby J. I am on day four, and have decided to quit properly until maybe Christmas? As I kept gettinganxious stressed worried about drinking/not drinking, when how often Cetera.

What is wrong ma why are you not well? I hope you're looking after yourself remember Opal fruits are full of nourishment and goodness.

Sweetsnew sentence although I didn't realise you were poorly, hope you feel better soon.

I'm, ok, Joey, thanks, just one of those 24 hour things

joey so great to see you back, missed ya girl, day 4 is fab, first few days are the worst, welcome back xxxx

Bugger , where did my post go?
Have a lung inflammation which has triggered an old asthma problem. Feeling a bit better but very tired.
Glad the green Opal Fruit issue has been resolved!

Thanks so much baby, that was such a lovely message, sending big hugs to you too.

Hands, sounds like we are on exactly the same wavelength, you summed up my weekends in your message.

I saw my sponsor today who was lovely, I hadn't seen her since I stopped going to AA at Easter and she is such a calming, wise presence in my life. She didn't pull any punches though, reminded me what's at stake if I keep drinking like I am, the future she painted for me was pretty grim if I don't sort myself out.

And then I came home and had a beer and 2 glasses of wine...what the fuck is wrong with me???

Margie a beer and two glasses of wine isn't that bad. Please don't beat yourself up over it. Massive hugs to everyone xx

Nothing is wrong with you margie . Maybe try to be aware of building up to a blow out over the weekend though as that's what happens to me after ' controlled' drinking. Hugs to all. ma glad we are ok re the opal fruits.

sweet my lovely friend, hope your feeling better very soon, big hug xxxxx

You too ma, thinking of you xxx

Good Morning Everyone

Sweet I hope you're feeling better lovely. £2014.85 is how much I haven't spent on vino collapso I haven't put any of it aside and who knows where it's gone - one emergency one month, one the next. No safety net in my bank account ever!

Margie welcome lovely. Today is another day, I'm very happy to do Day 1 with you You have done so well. Keep holding on to the feelings you had at the beginning of the year. Your sponsor sounds lovely. Can you put all alcohol that's in the house somewhere like the garden shed, boot of the car? I'm not one that can have any booze in the house, far too tempting! Have a good day and take every minute, hour at a time. You can do it

Baby it is indeed like an affair, love your comparison, tis so true. Hugs to you my friend

Pop you're doing really well, keep going lovely. Have a good day x

Hands welcome back - love your posts. I hope DH has thawed out by today. Keep focused. We're all here supporting you

Hope thanks for the mention darling. Think I'm going to apply for TA roles in primary school and see how I get on. Hope your trip for business is going well. I'm sure you're doing brilliantly x

Joey good to see you lovely and well done on your AF days x