The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

Morning Babes

It's been a while Still sober I've given up my addiction to crap TV (I mean really crap) but it served it's purpose as one of my distractions to keep WW away. I've been reading 2 books a week, nothing very high brow but keeping my brain active and it's honestly something to occupy my time in the evenings. My job's really 'getting to me' (as I kind of knew it would in time) there is only so much death I can cope with, so it's time for a change. I need 'term time only' (like every other single mum!) but quite determined and have started my exit plan from my current job Some figures from my app (using the one that Sweet & Fox recommended - I'm done drinking) - 224 days and I've not drunk 18.5 cases can't quite believe it! I'm not posting to blag or be smug, it's been a long old road, time after time, going back to Day 1 (as other Babes know) I feel like a switch just went off in my head and that was it. Just keep trying is my only advice and eventually it will stick.

Ma I hope you managed to get back to sleep and that you feel better very soon.

Baby lovely lady, glad to hear that you're ok. DD2 room sounds very pretty. I hope that's going well. Keep going honey you are such a caring person, this bus wouldn't be the same without you

Sweet a boing is always good long may it continue. Pup is simply gorgeous.

Fox darling, where have you been honey? are you ok darling?

Pop you are doing so so well, just keep picking yourself up, dusting yourself down and keep trying, one day at a time. Please don't let the other weekend get you down, it's done, it's over, you learned something about the people around you and now you can change it

Khaliski you old bag, where are you?

Beaches special hug lovely. Miss your posts.

April glad you're back, love your posts

Hope so good to hear your success with your new business, awesome lady

Sorry I haven't name called everyone

Right, I will stop now in case I lose this mammoth post. Dog to walk (still dark ), DDs to get up and a new day to get on with, it could be so much worse.

Have a good y'all x

spanna. So good to see you and to hear of your success.
Would love to see khalisi and wry popping in too!
Keep up the inspirational work babe

Morning All.

Spanna So good to see you. That's not a brag, it's not smug, it's what the bus is for you are a to the power of 100! But you missed out the other bit of the app, how much does it estimate you haven't spent?

Ma, I have to admit, I don't think I would be picking that cat up, but I can see that it will be beautiful with some TLC. I hope you feel better soon.

Baby not only are you strong and brave for having so much to deal with, but you are so generous with your help and support, and so wise.

Pop you just have to keep trying , and taking your own brilliant advice.

Faire, was it you or Venus who said the dark nights are a good excuse to get to bed early with a book? Absolutely, it also means you can get into PJs as soon as you get home - so no going out for anther bottle of vino!

Hands good to see you back, I'm sure DH will come round soon unless he is a champion sulker. You just have to let him see that you are doing your best.

Right, now for my confession. I am back to day one. So bloody stupid. I had an amazing day at work, got some important stuff done, and did more work in a day than I have managed for a long time. But I got home late went straight into the kitchen and downed a can of G&T without even thinking. I didn't even taste it, how stupid is that? The only silver lining was that I managed to stop at one, so I don't feel rough this morning. But it is so easy to slip.

Ho hum, time to reset the app - have a good day all.

Lost my post this am on the train to work. Grr.

Day 2 - didnt stop me being a grimpuhead with the family this morning. Why cant we all get up earlier? Why cant i be more even tempered with no booze having been drunk?

faire thank you for your offer to do One Day with anyone I loved that and found it very very supportive

spanna thank for the namecheck I am trying so hard!

ma are you feelig any better today?

sweet let do a day together today - be the best versions of pop and sweet we can be?

baby you inspire me each and every day.

Onwards and upwards...

scuse typos boss over shoulder

Spannnaaaaaaa Hello, how lovely to see you back and doing so well. Not boasty at all, you are an inspiration to us, wish I could stick at being AF for so long. What are your new job plans? I always thought your work sounded lovely and creative and rewarding, but I can see how there would be aspects that are hard. Keep us up to date with your new career...

I am sat on the couch on my personal laptop, waiting for IT to ring me back to explain why my work laptop isn't responding to the server. Got back really late last night from the NE and off again on my travels after lunch so catching up on MN now as can't do any work. Grrrr.... (though also Yay! cos can catch up with you lot...)

Ma hope you are feeling better. And I also would say no to smelly cat, having once let a stray in to feed it out of pity and then getting bitten to death by fleas and having to fumigate the carpets with ridiculously expensive and toxic stuff from the vets.

Sweet - one G&T does not a failure make. You managed to stop after one drink which makes you a in my eyes!

Hands how are you doing lovely? Feeling any better? I know so well the feeling of having had an argument and not remembering what it was about or what I need to apologise for ... I hope that you and DP are speaking again now and that you are being kind to yourself. Lots of hot chocolate and early nights with a good book

I am reading something called 'A Little Life' by Hanya Yanigahara. I thought it would be really absorbing as it's a long saga about four university friends throughout their lives, but it is actually rather disturbing (good, well written, but dark). Anyone got any cheery book recommendations that are not romcoms or chick lit? Feel I will need something uplifting by the time I get to the end of this one...

Big wave to Baby, April, Faire, Pop, Venus as I set off on my travels again. Hoping to see Isinde, Khalisi, Obrigada, Beaches, Small and the other missing babes have returned when I get back. And always hoping Wry will one day come back to see us....

Pop I think I prefer a 'grimpuhead' to a 'grumpyhead' - it sounds more Dr Seuss!!

I am definitely with you for the best we can be today. I have already had the BEST walk with PUP, showing every other dog in the park up with his perfect recall (but bloody hell has it been hard work getting there!). I have done part of a module on my cbt course (being a good girl and logging in every other day at the moment). And I'm finding lots of lovely pictures and videos to go with this afternoons lecture, to keep the students happy.

I meant to ask what everyone was reading earlier. I am really enjoying Night Circus - I was reading Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell, but have put it away for Easter - it needs rather more concentration than I can give it at the moment. Not sure what to look at next. Any recommendations?

Night Circus is a fabulous book. Absolutely loved it.
Have you tried The Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch? Most people haven't heard of it but I couldn't put it down. He creates the most amazing fantasy world and an enchanting pair of "villains"
Waves to hope and all the other Babes.
Managed a couple of hours in work but am now back in bed....

The Bees by Laline Paull - LOVED it . The characters are actual bees

All the light we cannot see but Anthony Duerr

and I loved The Miniaturist by Jesse Burton.

Tigers in Red WEather - Suzanne Kraussman

loves all those

Want to read - My Brilliant Friend and A little life but think A little lIfe might be a tad depressing??

Friend recommended We Are Not Ourselves - not read yet

Fabulous autobiography of her early years in NYC - Just Kids by Patti Smith - just beautiful.

What a lot of lovely recommendations. And The lies of Locke Lamora is a series if I enjoy it! I'm intrigued by the reviews of The Bees, which seems to be a bit of a marmite book, but definitely like the look of the Minaturist. Patti Smith was brilliant on Women's Hour last week. Thank you both.

Ma, Make sure you are looking after yourself.

Has anyone read Jason Vales book? Have just got it on my kindle after a month of being stuck on day one and feelng like I am literally banging my head against a wall. It says to keep drinking while reading though, does that make sense?

I struggled with The Miniaturist....

First chapter plods a bit but OMG the plot after that I thought was terrific. But books are so horses for courses. I'm a novelist in my dreams btw.

Jason vale - he's the juice guru right?

WIP I haven't read Jason Vale's book but I've read the Allen Carr Easyway to Control Alcohol. Unlike his Easyway to STOP smoking, he says that the title had to be different because many people don't really imagine they can stop drinking, and they think that n the future they want to have a couple of drinks on a special occasion - a very different view to how people think about smoking (people don't think 'oh it's a wedding I really want to share a fag with the happy couple').

Allen Carr also suggests you continue drinking while reading his book. (although I don't think it obligatory to drink if you've already stopped )

I think that the slightly hypnotic language of the AllenCarr book and the strong message about alcohol as a poison (which is true btw) means that as you progress with the reading you rethink your thinking patterns.

Don't know if the Jason Vale book is the same.

Also, some people who have been very, very heavy drinkers are at risk of serious damage, and even death, if they go cold turkey. A 'stop drinking now' message might be dangerous for some.

It is a series bit I haven't seen any more after the first two. The second is Red Seas under Red Skies or something... Not as good as the first one which I loved.
I struggled with the Miniaturist I must confess.

Thanks venus
Think the books are quite similar, read the Allen Carr one about ten years ago but at that point could not even consider giving up. Now I want to, be it for a month, six months, a year or forever.

I'm teading Stephen Kings autobiogrAphical book ' on writing'. Where he says he talks about his alcohol and cocaibe addiction and coming to the end of it - which was precipitated by an Old style intervention by his family. He says ' at the worst of it I no longer wanted to drink and no longer wanted to be sober either . At the start of the road back I just tried to believe people who said that things would get better if I gave them time to do so. '.

Excuse typos. Children fighting in the bath. I need a nice cup of tea.

WIP and you can be, you will be.... and it is GOOD.

Hi everyone,

I'm hoping I can join you all...? I am a long-time lurker, when I first tried to give up drinking I read the whole first thread and jesuswhatsnext and MIFLAW became my heroes.

I gave up drinking on January 18th this year after hitting what I thought was rock bottom...but of course there was further to fall. I managed 2 months sober and one or two AA meetings a week, but I went to see my cousin at Easter, she put a glass of prosecco in my hand and the whole thing went tits up.

However, here I am again...absolutely in love with booze but terrified by the fact that I have no control over it and never will.

I wish I could be a normal drinker...

WIP and you can be, you will be.... and it is GOOD.

Hey margie welcome to the bus and well done for joining us and telling us a bit about you. Sounds like you are well capable of being sober and need to find your sober groove again. Do you know what your triggers were / did you have particular stresses in your life when you relapsed? We are here to support you.

wip I didn't know about Jason vales book about drinking. Good for you for trying it as a sober tool. I might have a look. I keep getting stuck in days 1 to 3 but it kind of feels like part of the process, as long as I can avoid massive pissed blow outs which I don't seem to be able to. I don't think in my heart of hearts that I can be a normal drinker.

It's quiet on the bus tonight.

Opal fruit anyone?

Did someone say Opal Fruit?????
Hi Margie and welcome.

you don't have cheer me up ma. You feeling any better?