The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

Morning. Day 1. Determined.

Hi Babes I'm back again. Got so pissed last night I had a huge row with DH and he's now not talking to me. Can't even remember what it was about or what I said to him. My depression and anxiety are at an all time low. I feel like a crap wife and mother. Today has been totally wiped out because I'm so hungover. I've thrown what little wine was left down the sink so will not be drinking today. Anyone else joining me on day 1 (again!!)?

Hands good to see you again!
Have had a few goodish days here but mainly because I am ill and can't face drinking! I must be ill.
Packed full of steroids now to go along with the HRT and the ADs.
Happy days.

Hi Ma sorry to hear you've not been well. What ADs do you have? I've been given sertraline but have heard you feel loads worse when you first start to take them so haven't actually taken any yet. I know I need to though because I can't go on like this.

Hi hands glad you came back for help. I had to put out a major SOS to the babes last sunday as had hideous drunken saturday night. You can reclaim yourself. Starts here. I am with you on day 1. You are not a crap wife or mother just another flawed human being trying to cope. Take heart. You are accepting that you need to do something differently.

Citalopram. It helps a lot. The only side effects initially are feeling a bit nauseated for a few days, otherwise fine.
It makes a big difference to me.

hi ma, I'm sorry to hear your not feeling well, straight home after work, nice hot bath and on the couch with a duvet, that's an order. Xxx

hands you poor thing. I suffer depression and anxiety terribly and the AD's have helped tremendously. Venlaflaxine is a combined anti depressant and anti anxiety treatment and from the early days of my PND it helped me "face the world". I have recently been diagnosed with mild bipolar and the meds I am now taking make me very tired and drowsy. It's a very strange notion to take tablets while I feel ok which then make me feel numb and exhausted and have caused weight gain BUT I'm looking at the bigger picture so if they stabilise my mood and lead me away from the terrible lows I've experienced then I will take the side effects in the short term for a med/long term gain. It sounds as though your at your wits end and it's clearly affecting your relationship with dp. I take many many tablets (13 per day) for my crohns and 6 for depression/bipolar, they all have side effects but I must keep the faith that they hold the key to my life being a happy and stable one.

Why not try them for a month and see how you go, I hate to think of you carrying on with all this personal turmoil, you deserve so much more than the way you feel today.

Big giant hug for you, you sound so sad xxxx

Great post pop, you sound like a new woman. In my many many relapses, I learned something new every time, I've started anew every time armed with more knowledge, more wisdom and more hope. It takes courage to get up of the floor and keep fighting and last week you got provoked and hurt and here you are turning your pain into a positive hopeful message for lovely hands!!!

Magic happens on this lovely bus xxxx

Thanks for all the kind words ladies . Hopefully I'll feel a lot more positive tomorrow after an AF evening and an early night. Have a lovely evening everybody xx

You know all this hands but try and have some healthy food and lots of water - fizzy does it for me - and that early night. Tomorrow is another day.

ma hope you feel better soon this shitty dark winter weather isn't helping either.

baby thanks for the kind words.
I sometimes wonder for myself what it will take just to give up the demon booze altogether and once and for all. Whether it's a rock bottom ( if I haven't stopped does it mean I haven't had the lowest one yet?) or do I need to declare it to the world and then I have to follow up? I feel so much better in mind body and soul after four days off yet then back I go. Like a goldfish.

hands good luck with DP by the way hope that you manAge to redeem the situation.

I'm not on Day 1 but will do One Day with anyone who wants to. The silver lining about dark, miserable nights is going to bed early with a good book. Getting lost in a great read can be a life saver sometimes.

Welcome back to the bus Hands, lovely to hear from you x

Not in work today. Been in bed feeling like shite all day. You know when your dcs are little and they ask if they can do something ridiculously impractical and then sulk when you say no? Dd1 is in Spain. She is nearly 25. I just got a WhatsApp which says " Can I bring this home with me?"

Awwww ma why not, you big meanie

Ph my goodness is it a street cat?

Having a nice cup of tea. DP stuck in office. Wind howling all around. Trying to get kids bedward. Want to curl up under duvet. Now.

Yes it is! The guy she is staying with won't have it as he says it will be diseased. I'm with him! Dd2 told her to get herself de-flead and have a rabies jab and Ds said she was a pyscho so now she is in the huff with everyone for their lack of understanding!!!!

Oh dear. Can see both sides. But wouldn't want to take it in either without a health check. Bless her. She's clearly very kind!

hands are you out there and how are you doing?

Yes I'm here. I'm drinking chamomile tea and watching Nigella making chicken covered in cornflakes! DH is still in a sulk. Hopefully he'll be over it by tomorrow. Thank you for thinking of me xx

Was just pouring a fizzy water having got past an enormous booze crave. Okay now. Telly then some bills to pay . Well done on the tea. Hope DH comes round.

Oh I missed mad as a bucket of frogs Nigella. Am in bed, sweating up a storm and hoping my breathing improves or it will be a trip to hospital. I need this like a hole in the head!
On the plus side have had very little in the way of alcohol since last week!

ma sending strength to you. Feel better soon.

ma it could be worse - she could have told you she was bringing this home...

OK - that didn't seem to work (it was a picture of a little baby).

I would prefer the scabby kitten to be honest. At least it might catch the bloody mouse which is still roaming the house. Never been on MN this late before. Can't sleep