The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Waving Goodbye To Summer Nights, Sipping Mocktails.

[Mouseface]

Hello, I'm Mouse Welcome to the Bus. :)

Well, it would appear that Autumn is on it's way I have the heating on and can't wait to use the log burner.... shhh!

So, who are we? We're just like you. Married, single, divorced, lots of children or no children, working or a SAHM, it doesn't matter, we all breathe the same air.....

We're just trying to live our lives on the Bus, like you do each day. Well, except for one thing...

I know don't start my day with a swig, or seven, from a litre bottle of vodka (choose your poison) any longer.

And that's what has kept me here, for years now. And no doubt many more to come. Reading the stories of others struggles, wanting to say "I feel like that" or "I do that too!" but being to ashamed to be the first to put your hand up.

Well, let me reassure you here and now, there's not much that we haven't read about on here or done ourselves over the years.

We've laughed at stories of haphazard nights out, we've cried at the loss of loved ones and we've shared the pain that only an alcoholic knows when all that they want is to STOP!

Push the pause button, get off the ride, shut the door, bury yourself under the duvet for days. We've all felt that sickening feeling in our gut that makes us want to curl up and hide forever. And we've shared it all on here.

You see I don't know you and you don't know me, so we're just words on a screen to each other. Eventually, you'll get to know me more and I you, and the other fantastic Babes too, some will stay, some leave us, then some come back.

One thing I can PROMISE - here you are safe, here you won't be judged, turned away (unless you're not genuine) and we even have a huge stock of Opal Fruits but that's all down to Ma.

So, if you think we're you're kind of lovely bunch of people to help you stop drinking, slow down, hold your hand while you decide what to do, then come find a seat!

OUR MOST RECENT THREAD

AND A VERY SOBERING READ, THAT LEAD TO THE BIRTH OF THE THREADS THAT FOLLOWED

Love your posts Baby. So glad to see you back. I have had two mugs of hot water and lemon and some almond butter ricecakes. (smug) Going to have a bath then tackle some housework. The nervous chattering in my head that follows a week of drinking will not be quiet, but I am happy you are all here with me.

It was a glorious day - and lovely to read the posts on here but why are there no fireworks symbols? I'll just have to do lots of these....

                   <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Star" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/star-Bm6t10PJ.png">

        <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Star" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/star-Bm6t10PJ.png">                        <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Star" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/star-Bm6t10PJ.png">
                             <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Star" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/star-Bm6t10PJ.png">

                 <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Star" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/star-Bm6t10PJ.png">

Bedtime. Hope you made it through AF MrsM ... I did, but by the skin of my teeth. Hope all babes ok tonight. Thanks for the stars Venus xxx

Hey all

I'm back from me travels. Antony Gormley statues were ace and we did loads of other stuff in 'the pool'. What a great place to visit, so much to do. It was hot too! DH and I did lots of people watching from little pavement cafes. Especially Saturday night when all the clubbers were out in their hallowe'en costumes. Vair entertaining

Joey I knew that you weren't feeling that great because you weren't posting much but I also knew that you would still be with us and would post when you were ready. Thanks for checking in x

looking sorry but I have to say that this: 'not saying he's miserable but put it this way, he doesn't have to dress up to embody Halloween' really made me chuckle

MrsM I know you've been here for years, so have I and I've seen your lovely posts here on the bus before. You're doing ok. You're still with us and you're still trying and that's what is important. I think it's easy to lose your way for a little bit but as long as you keep coming back, keep positing, keep trying, you'll be ok. We're doing this together. One day at a time x

baby I bet your gorgeous dd has many of those wonderful qualities that you have yourself; empathy, compassion, forgiveness, acceptance and a very rare thankfulness in being able to see the good in people and to be happy and grateful for being so loved for who we are. She's so lucky to have you x

Mouse how are things with you now? I know the bus is quiet at the moment but that just means people are lurking. And that's when they need the bus the most. So even if we trundle quietly on for a few days or weeks, no matter. The wheels keep turning, the bus keeps rolling on, always ready to pick up new passenges or welcome old ones back x

I did Hope and it's a lovely feeling falling into bed sober. It's good to think you will be too. I'm so glad Venus is still here and looking after us all.

And thank you Faire for your inspiring and welcoming words.

Well done for today MrsM. Hope to catch up with you through the week. Night x

I've been lurking as drinking too much. Day one now and actually quite looking forward to it, my body really needs a break.

I have a major headache today. Bloody detox

Morning babes, had a lovely evening Saturday, home and in bed by 10. Productive weekend as got new blinds fitted this morning, am not the best at housework so it involved a lot of cleaning to prepare for this morning. Poor puppy fell off window sill yesterday and has appt with vet later this morning as he is still in pain

Waves to all babes xx

At least it's not a hangover headache Hope. Hang in there. I am, but only just, bloody wine witch is already calling and it's only lunchtime!

Morning All.

Ma, Obrigada, Baby, Pop, Faire, Hope, Venus, Joey, and Mrs M, and to the MIA Babes, Small, Wry, Isinde, Ruby, Khalisi and all of the others who have journeyed a while.

Right, I have no more excuses, the kitchen is DONE! Whoop, whoop, and it's fab, sleek and shiny and the oven has more computing power than NASA (honestly, it's a bit scary). Yesterday I cooked our first Sunday roast, which was deemed a huge success by DH and DS (even though I thought the beef looked a little over done and I forgot to put my veggie option in!). And of course, () I 'celebrated' with wine.

But not today. Today, when I get home, there is a becks blue in the fridge with my name on it. So, day one .

Hey babes,

faire you made me cry!!! Thank you for your loveliness, your weight loss and positive outlook is inspires me every day.

Same to ma hope and sweet for the lovely NC.

It feels very special to read the posts of genuine warmth you all send to each other, and I'm lucky enough to receive!!!!

The tablets im taking to control my mood have the side effect of blocking the "full up" feeling we get after eating, they also make me drowsy and I have abandoned the gym BUT today onwards I'm focussing on clean eating, lots of water and a minimum of 30 mins per day excercise. It helps me to think of sobriety as part of a bigger picture, I want to be strong, fit, well and calm. Maybe those stopping or cutting down could look at it more holistically. Instead of thinking of what I can't have, I'm looking at filling that void with the things I can!!! Excercise floods the brain with happy hormones and calms my anxiety, it also burns fat and tones. I'm kinda sick of moaning about my weight, my fatigue, my aches and pains and of course being the sober one listening to dh's drivel when he's pissed. We are always taught we must earn respect, it's time for me to earn my own for MYSELF xxx

Hugs for everyone xxxx

I'm in troubles babes. Got slaughtered at a friend's party complete with memory loss, falling over, and arguing with folk I'd just met. Rolled home in early hours. Still feel awful. This needs to stop. I'm also unsure now about who I thought was a friend who I found out has been bitching about me - as told by another party guest. Feel stupid and hurt and used. I need to also take responsibility for fact that none of this would have happened if I'd stopped earlier and gone home. Like a normal mother. Help.

Aw, big hugs Popstar. I know just how you feel. Memory loss is the worst...You always fill in the gaps with a worst case scenario. In my case I am still doing that from last week. Everyone is treating me as normal and I'm scrutinising every word for hints of pity or contempt. My mind never stops with the paranoia. We all know we should have stopped earlier ... In hindsight, which is an awful thing. What are you doing right now babes? What would make you feel better? Apart from all of us babes sending you huge warmth and love across the internet...

You need the BB SWAT team pop (((hugs)))

You are safe now, that's what's important. And you're with us and we will look after you

There used to be a poster on these threads called MIFLAW who had some fantastic ways of describing what you're talking about. If you could go back and re-read some of the early threads they might help.

One thing he talked about was getting in the boxing ring. Drinking is like trying to fight an opponent that you can never beat. Every time you get in the ring you will end up getting beaten up. You will be sorry and sore and totally defeated.

You will never win. Never. The booze wins every time.

The only thing you can control is whether or not you get in the ring.

You can keep getting in the ring and you can keep getting beaten up or you can decide that you've had enough. That you don't want to keep losing. You can walk away.

It's up to you.

He said that most people will keep drinking until they've had enough. Everyone's stopping point is different and many have to hit rock bottom before they've had enough.

Let's just deal with today. It's about five hours until bedtime. You can do that. Anyone can go five hours without alcohol and that's all it is really.

Break down the evening: Have something to eat. Have a bath. Put on clean pjs. Make a hot drink. Do something to pass the time, phone a friend, post on here, play computer games, do a jigsaw puzzle, tackle the ironing pile, sort out kitchen cupboards, whatever.

Tomorrow you will feel a little better and you will glad that you didn't drink today.

Thank you. I'm not drinking. Got kids bedtime. Then will eat something and early night. It's the fallout I'm dreading of seeing the friend. Although my gut instinct tells me that they bullied a drunk person. But my fault for being drunk. I think I need to count my blessings and let a few days go by. And stay out of that boxing ring. And hold my closest ones dear. And stick with you lot.

popstar so often I used to wonder why I'd even had so much to drink - I didn't even enjoy it (after the first heady hit), and I still feel shameful at some of my escapades. I have at least 2 friends who still get a warning from their husbands if they are going out with me - and that is a good few years after our last dreadful escapades. All in jest of course but all based on some cringe-worthy situations

And yet despite knowing all of that, tonight I came in from work started prepping dinner and had a huge longing for a G&T (or actually just the gin.... or vodka....). I squeezed a lemon into a glass and topped it up with ice-cold soda - all the while wishing that there was a big bottle of spirits that I could have topped it up with (more like half and half spirit and tonic). But now, 15 minutes later I am almost finished my soda and lemon and I have no craving, and I wonder what all of that was about....

I was so used to using alcohol as the answer for everything. Feeling hungry? have a drink. Feeling sad? have a drink. Feeling tired? have a drink.... I think that when I got home tonight the real problem was that I was thirsty but still that old part of my brain through of a drink first.

So glad there was no gin handy. I too will go to bed early and sober

Thank you. Support appreciated. This was simpler cringeworthy episode. It was really nasty. Bad vibes all round. Friendship on the verge. But I think I'm coming round to seeing it as an opportunity. Otherwise think I'd just cry. Have seen the light about a friend I thought was trustworthy. Will be keeping a polite distance and will not be making myself vulnerable around her and her friends again. I feel sad sad sad about it but it won't be the first time I've made myself a drinking buddy and it's all gone too far. Poor DP for putting up with this shit for 15 years.

Doh. Simpler = no simple cringeworthy episode.

Evening.

Pop, you are ok now, and it's been a learning point. As for the anxieties, have you considered that the others present were also drunk, so the details may be hazy for them too. {hugs}

I love the MIFLAW analogy, it's so true, we will never win.

Baby, good to here you more positive, but don't throw yourself into everything at once,, you'll run out of energy and end up feeling bad. Can you set yourself a schedule, introduce one improvement, or a few small ones at a time, so each becomes a habit?

Venus, thirst is a big trigger for me, which is why I planned this morning to have an AF beer in the fridge for when I got home. It worked. Ive passed the danger point.

A good day.

True that others were drinking too. Difficult to see beyond my own perspective as I'm still gripped by neurosis and withdrawal if I'm honest. But yes, I'm sure they didn't feel brilliant yesterday either. sweet well done on successful AF beer strategy - might try that myself. And exercise! I need some of that. baby I'm going to savour your words of wisdom again later. And count my blessings again. faire thanks thanks. Grateful for help. Not v good at asking for it or receiving it when it's offered.

looking your warm hug across the net made me well up. venus thank you. You can all probably tell what a ridiculously emotional state I'm in.

That's why we're here pop and coming for help is exactly the right thing to do. I know it's hard to ask for or even to accept sometimes but that's the beauty of the bus. It's there whether you want it or not, just waiting for you.

You've already earned the compassion and respect of the members of the bus just by being on this thread and sharing a little bit of your experiences with us. Remember, it's a lifetime, non refundable ticket. You can check out any time you like but you can never leave

thank you I'm welling up again. I'm so sad about being let down by this friend. Feel heartbroken. Her friend who has never been in my house started reeling off things that she had obviously told him were 'crap' ( in her opinion) about it. She's very house proud and ' cool' and clearly very judgemental. I felt we were really close friends but can now see she just thinks I'm a bit of a loser. Why did I not see that coming?