Police have just phoned and I'm reeling... (MNHQ have amended title - potential trigger re: sexual abuse)

[Shameandregret]

I was raped by my cousin when I was 10 and he was 13 or 14 (I can't remember his definite age). He also sexually assaulted a 3 year old girl at about the same time. I also know he assaulted my aunt when they were both adults.

I have had a police video interview as the girl who was assaulted as a 3 year old made a complaint.

Police have just phoned me to give an update. They have done the arrest and my cousin is saying he knows nothing. The other girl has given a sketchy account and they still have to interview a couple of other key people. They can't track down my aunt and have asked me to try I'm no contact with her as basically she used me as a sacrificial lamb in the family and allowed them all to call me a liar, knowing the truth, to save her marriage.

The police man actually has just said to me that he doesn't know if they can take the investigation forward as it will be difficult to prove my rape wasn't wasn't consent based or child experimentation? I was s tiny ten year old who weighed 3 stone, he was a huge fat 13/14 year old who physically pinned me down. It has taken me years to realise that this wasn't my fault. Now the police seem to be saying it is?!?

I'm reeling. Surely I shouldn't be having to track down my aunt? Should I? I can't believe they don't believe me. I just want to cry for the 10 year old me. I'm necking wine (I know wrong move) and just can't think straight. I should have refused to give a statement. Fuck fuck fuck. Sorry I'm not making sense

I believe you.

And I think your cousin has already made a tactical mistake by claiming he doesn't remember anything. This will cause him problems when he tries to change his story to "consent" (not that consent can have much meaning given your age).

Not only will he be shown up changing his story, but it will put him in the position where either he states that he doesn't remember his first sexual experiences, or he states that he was having sex with so many people at the age of 13 that he doesn't remember them.

Neither story will go well.

Keep strong - we are all with you.

Yes, that's a really good point Pausing

OP I'm so so sorry this happened to you.

Wishing you courage and strength x

for you op and others on here and elsewhere who were raped/abused. I am sorry, you are brave xx

That's a very good point pausing

"My" rapist (I actually hate that saying, he isn't my rapist, I don't fucking well want him) shit himself in the foot by claiming it was a sex game. Therefore accidentally admitting that he had arc with me when I was underage and he was an adult, that I had resisted and said no and stop etc and that he had carried on regardless.
He never really had brains that one.

op your last post broke my heart. I though it was a possibility that your family would close ranks, they probably can't allow themselves to think about it because that would mean having to accept some responsibility, you're right.

My DD knows now that no means no. No does not mean try and convince me, no does not mean oh ok if you insist. I means no, I do not consent.

shot himself in the foot. Although yeah, he probably did shit himself afterwards

OP, I just want to add for you.

I believe you.

Massive hugs through this whole thing xx

Op - stay as strong as you can. We are all rooting for you.

I believe you

contrary13 for you too

Contrary 13

For all you who have went through this. I believe all of you. You did nothing wrong, not one damn thing. Not any of you. There is no excuse for touching someone underage who can't consent, or someone who has made it clear they do not consent.

My DD knows now that no means no. No does not mean try and convince me, no does not mean oh ok if you insist. I means no, I do not consent.

Ds will be told the same. He's only 4 now, and already learning about consent, that he can say no to hugs and kisses, doesn't have to sit on anyones knee he doesn't want to and stuff.

Wicked lazy - a good thing we could teach all our sons.