So I've been seeing this guy for about 4-5 months...everything was absolutely great until this...
One morning I woke up (he stayed at mine the night before) and we were in bed and I woke up pretty early (6:30am) anyway...I got up and make a coffee and our clothes were thrown all over the living room from the previous night. I went and picked all our clothes up and got his hat and picked up his trainers which he had his hat on top of. When I picked up his trainers I noticed his phone was in one of his shoes so I took it out and walked back into the bedroom. When I put his phone on the side a 'tinder match' notification popped up on his mobile...I instantly felt sick. I confronted him about it straight away and he said he never uses it and that it was probably from ages ago...anyway...that was that
After this things started getting weird, he didn't text much or came to see me for a whole week and then went on this lads holiday. While he was away we spoke a few times but nothing major. Anyway I noticed when he came back off holiday he had become friends with all these girls on Facebook which I didn't question. The day after he got back he was dying to see me...so he came round and we spoke about what had happened the week before he went away and he just said he had a lot of family problems going on etc and didn't want to let me down or upset me. Anyway so I then asked him if anything happened on his holiday and he said yes he kissed a few girls and that was it, nothing else...so I didn't like what he told me but other than that we seemed to be back to how we were.
Anyway a few weeks pass and a friend of mine sent me a screen shot of his plenty of fish profile showing he had updated pictures from his holiday on there and also he was online that day. He had also updated his tinder account pictures.
So I spoke to him. AGAIN and he said he doesn't know why he did it blah blah blah so me being the fool I said to him well look if you want to be with me delete it...he said he would...he didn't.
I reached breaking point after a few days and I told him straight...and I said...you clearly don't want to be with me, you make no effort, you're still on online dating etc. anyway he suggested we go away for the night to get away from our home town and talk and sort things out
So we went away and we stayed in a nice hotel, went out for food and had a few drinks. While the drinks were flowing I said to him, 'why are you so sneaky with your phone' and he said 'what do you mean?' So I was like 'whenever you're with me you put your phone into flight mode' and he said because when I'm with you I don't want to be disturbed.
Anyway jokingly when he was scrolling through his phone I snatched it off him and went to click on whatsapp. Well...I've never seen someone dive on top of me so quick to get his phone back he was on me like a rash trying to get it back. In the end I gave it to him and he was like 'you never take a guys phone' we make a joke of it but I knew he was hiding something. He carried on to tell me how 'I want to be with you, I really like you, your the only girl I speak to, you really make me happy' in the back of my mind I was still thinking...what you're saying is nice but you're definitely hiding something
Anyway so the night finishes were both pretty drunk...go back to the hotel and fall asleep. I wake up the next morning and he's fast asleep!
I just knew I had to check what he was so paranoid about with this phone!
So being stupid I grabbed it and went into the toilet, locked myself in and I remembered his passcode from the night before.
As soon as I opened the phone I instantly felt sick at what I could end up seeing. So I opened messages and I didn't find much on text. I then opened up whatsapp...well...it was like a fanny fest! Message after message to girls, dirty talk, you name it! Sex memes being sent etc I was nearly physically sick!
I was looking through this phone for a good hour and I came out of the toilet and I was shaking. He was still asleep. I slammed the door shut to make sure I woke him up and I threw the phone at him and started screaming. He didn't know what was going on at first and I just told him straight. He told me he was never going to go through with any of it and I'm the girl he wants to be with and he doesn't want to lose me over this etc etc...
Anyway I managed to calm down and I came home not much was said on the way home except he kept looking at me. And I was sat there in tears just crying. He was lost with what to do
Anyway so we came back to mine and we spoke a little and I just said. If you want to be with me. Delete everything and he did...right infront of me he deleted everything.
Anyway since then I'm just finding myself constantly kicking off with him, finding a reason to bring it up, questioning him on all sorts and he's doing nothing to prove to me it is me he wants. He just sees it as...you went through my phone I'm not arsed.
I don't know what to make of it all because he's not even showing me or proving to me that h wants to be with me. We always speak but there is nothing there that makes me think...wow he's making so much effort here he must want me!
We've had a big argument today and he said he's annoyed with me that I'm always on his case and he can't be doing with it...
I don't know what to do...someone please help me figure this out!
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Relationships
My guy got caught out. Now what?
amyc88 · 14/08/2015 00:54
To be honest I'd have not believed a word he said after you first saw that he had a tinder match notification (because I've already been through this crap and kept giving a million chances and believing that he'd deleted things and was going to change blah blah blah).
You especially should have dumped him after he told you he had kissed other women on the lads trip. This shows absolutely no moral compass, no sense of commitment or respect towards you. Do you really want to be with someone like this?
This man is a liar and a cheat and nothing is ever going to change that about him, and you are never going to be able to trust him no matter what he says or does. Don't allow yourself to be taken in - you deserve much better than this. So far you've only wasted a few months of your life with this idiot...don't invest any more time because you'll find yourself years down the road in this exact same predicament, wishing you'd dumped him the first time around if you stay now. 
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