Oh dear god, DH has just given me...[underwear]

[SilentlySpeechless]

this. and he bought size L . I've never taken L in anything. And I just looked up the price We're supposed to be saving money.

£68 for a pair of skids? Mind you, the woman modelling them has a rather nice bottom...

Fingers crossed your surgery goes well OP. As for "being crap in the bedroom recently", if piv sex is painful then no wonder. Your H can always have a quick tug... :o

I want to know what you said to him upon receiving this 'gift'?!

I'd be sending my DH back with those . The possibility of chaos with those is huge. I would be the one with something stuck up my chuff. Luckily DH prefers me in the nip!

Omg you are meant to take the pearls that have been on your butt crack, tie a knot in them, insert them into your vagina and then either masterbate or fuck.

Even if your P wanted to spice things up between you, how on earth did he think they were a good idea?

Too expensive for me .....otherwise...... would be worth chancing a tenner!

Interesting. ?

I'm with goodcompany2 on this one.

calamity it went something like "are they supposed to be pants? Seriously? Would you like your cup of tea?" And then I sat down to drink my tea, read a book and as soon as I could escaped to the bathroom, to post on here!

Well, yes, exactly lovely

I never had anything like this but the day I threw out all my fancy come hither lingerie was a very, very happy one indeed.

So you have pearls rubbing your clit and a knot of them up your fanny, competing for space with a cock? Is anyone else getting a pain just thinking about that?

(the NECK kind, you filthy trollops!)

I'm never going to read that phrase the same way again now, Across.

"And how uncomfortable they must be."
My experience with admittedly a cheap version of them was painful. The spaces inbetween the pearls were great at pinching skin. They are now retired to my sewing and craft box, where I can put them to better use cut up! I can't imagine how bad it would feel to have a knot of them up my chuff with another bit pincing my clit And they only look good if you're fully shaved although even that's debateable.

I'd be ok with being bought this-not in L though admittedly...

Also hoping he bought them in a helpful (?) not insensitive way OP, especially if you are having an operation soon.

I just thought hygiene nightmare. Pearls near / up your arse and then in the vagina. Not great.

God no. I'd rather not have a cluster of pearls up my noonie.

Give me m and s size 16 shorts any day. much less complicated !

Maybe the thongs for him?

They're very complicated. Plus lol at the video

Pic doing the rounds on Facebook at the moment - I saw it and thought of you.

Ew

"My experience with admittedly a cheap version of them was painful. The spaces inbetween the pearls were great at pinching skinconfused. They are now retired to my sewing and craft box"

Yep, they'll look much better bordering a cross stitched Home Sweet Home fabric picture.

This certainly puts a new spin on MNers clutching their pearls

That is disgusting. Those pearls spend a bit of time up your arse crack and the they ar supposed to be stuck up your vagina. The inventor must be demented. Arse germs up the vagina = illness (= no sex!).

I always think people who invent stuff like this must be really rubbish at using their genitals and their fingers. God gave you the tools you need! Your dh is a porn hound!

Haha if they got lost up your foof can you imagine the trip to hospital to have them retrieved. Doctor: "and how did you lose a string of pearls up there?" You: "Oh well you see I fell over and landed on them and they just sort of went in somehow"

Id really like a pair.

Whataload- I hope you disinfected them!