In laws and my newborn. Is this weird?

[Caffeinefreecoke]

My PILs are lovely. MIL probably doesn't like me as much as FIL, but still lovely. They ADORE my 10 week old DS, it's amazing. Had a few boundary issues (described on here under different user names) but I'm happy now and I love how they are with him, it's clear they're besotted.

My issue in this thread is with the wider family of ILs. They keep saying very strange things to me such as 'she thinks DS is hers when really he's ours!' And taking him from me?! the other day Dh's uncle said 'do you ever pinch him to wake him up?' Why would I do that? Next thing my sleeping baby is screaming in this uncles arms. Is this normal and I'm just overthinking or is it a bit odd?

Did you manage to talk to him about it, Caffeine?

I would be very firm about boundaries with this lot.

Taking out ds? Sleepovers etc. Make sure you're entirely comfortable with this and that you can trust them.

All you've said makes them sound like a really weird shower of people. I would quickly distance myself.

The extended family-yes, very odd behaviour.
MIL -I'd give her the benefit of the doubt. Lot's of Grannies say things like "Where's my gorgeous boy?" and "Where's my precious little girl?" with no intention whatsoever of wanting to own the baby or take over. As someone said up-thread its common in the N West and no reason at all to feel "sick to the stomach". It depends on the context-just keep an eye and if people knock on windows tell them straight to stop it and assess how they react. Keep your boundaries up.

A side issue-I didn't see Bertrand being rude. Its okay to put another view to respected posters who have helped a lot of people in the past. All of us are capable of projection and it does no harm at all to have a variety of responses.
I personally would avoid the uncle BTW and keep baby out of his way. If he gets worse I would have very little contact.

Sorry, can I ask in what context your MIL said to a friend that the baby was hers, OP? I'm confused about that - surely it would be patently obvious that that wasn't literally/biologically the case, so did she say something like "this is our lovely little baby"?

It definitely sounds as though they're making you very uncomfortable, whatever the rights and wrongs of it, and I think you definitely need to make your husband aware of how it's making you feel. And as other posters have suggested, maybe you need to think about to politely yet very firmly broach it with them, and set down some ground rules. My in-laws are lovely, but I used to find myself getting quite anxious if my son was being passed around the wider family willy-nilly when he was tiny - especially if he was getting grouchy and I'd told them out loud that he needed a feed. I used to get so upset if they didn't immediately hand him back.

It does sound as though OP may be on the autism spectrum (I noticed she took the joke about being Kate Middleton literally), but it's irrelevant. What they're saying is making her uneasy and uncomfortable, and for that reason alone they ought to stop it, even if it is meant in jest. "I was just joking" is right up there on the list of the top things shitty people say to justify their shittiness, along with "Look what you made me do" (ie, you're responsible for my actions) and "I'm just a straight talker, telling it like it is" (ie, I am rude and tactless).

Am I missing something here? 5 pages of posters saying is weird/sinister/controlling/rating Op like a baby vessel??

Erm it's just a saying. Like taking a baby's leg, pointing at the calf muscle, and saying 'couldn't you just eat it?' . it kind of points to a visceral love/infatuation/adoration.

I do think you may be taking this literally - they know he's yours and, no, they don't want to eat him ( hope the eating imagery hasn't freaked you out, op).

However, it sounds like they're possibly loud, ebullient, touchy-feely types, not known for recognising boundaries. And they have fallen head over heels for your boy. Ach, some mums would give their eye teeth (

Lively? And lovely

I said to a woman today who was about to leave with the most adorable baby on the planet 'You can leave her here, I'll look after her'.

To which she said 'no, but you can have one of my boys: theyre more of a handful'

All in jest, all meant, and taken, as a compliment.

I do know what you mean, though, from experience: my (foreign) in-laws genuinely thought I was the baby-carrier, that my baby belonged to them and said they'd take her to get her ears pierced when I was out. My baby didn't leave my side for 18 months. I don't know if they genuinely meant it but I wasnt taking any chances. I don't know to this day what about their approach was genuine or cultural but it did my head in.

Reminds me a bit of Rosemary's Baby.... that doesn't end well.

Oh ffs pinkje

Well pinkje, that would be comparable only if OP has unwittingly given birth to the Antichrist, sired by Satan himself. Still, given the Aussies' performance in the cricket today, I suppose stranger things have happened.

Well this descended quickly