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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

5:30 am and I'm raging

85 replies

LoveLetters · 02/08/2015 06:02

Currently 14 weeks pregnant with 2 DC. DH did coke last night against my wishes. He is still walking around at this time of the morning blowing his nose and still buzzing. This week, even though I am absolutely exhausted with pregnancy and having to keep getting up with a 2 yr old at night, he doesn't seem to care that I need help and that I'm on the verge of passing out most of the time. I have no one else around to help. He woke me up at 4am and I am so angry at haven't been able to go back to sleep. I'm going to be so ill tomorrow from lack of sleep. And oh joy... My son is now awake.
I really don't even know how to think right now.

OP posts:
acatcalledjohn · 02/08/2015 13:03

(Not to mention them finding it in the house and trying to eat it.)

HawkEyeTheNoo · 02/08/2015 13:12

He keeps a stash in the house?!?!ShockShockShock Seriously?? That's unbelievable! Pity you can't find it, bet your DC do though and what happens then? I'd be telling him I'm phoning the police and they can get a warrant and find it for you!! I just can't get my head around this. Is he dealing? How large a quantity does he but that he's got a stash? I'm truly flabbergasted you haven't kicked this law breaking arsehole out by now! Hmm

notapizzaeater · 02/08/2015 13:16

I'd just go and when his family ask I'd tell them.

He is putting you all,in danger, what if the kids find it ?

LaurieFairyCake · 02/08/2015 13:17

tellmeofthetime - no, most people can't afford coke and the OP is exhausted. Some time asleep/resting may help her think clearly about whether she wants to stay with a continuous coke user. She clearly can't leave the kid with him, can she?

She needs to put her needs first and being pregnant and exhausted won't be helping her to think clearly.

BathtimeFunkster · 02/08/2015 13:24

Laurie is dead right.

OP, how are you doing?

TracyBarlow · 02/08/2015 13:40

I just couldn't be with someone who did coke. I think any notion of drug taking really has to stop when you have children.

It would be last chance saloon for him, if I were in your shoes OP Flowers

SandysMam · 02/08/2015 13:44

If it was heroin he was doing I bet you would have no quams about kicking him out and ending it, yet because Coke seems to be an acceptable party drug then it hasn't seemed to cross your mind to be anything other than cross. Like it or not this is a big problem which you need to face OP, don't bury your head in the sand because you are too tired to face it. Good luck, he sounds like an arsehole x p.s next time he does it, film him acting like a twat and show him the next day.

Fearless91 · 02/08/2015 16:55

No decent advice I'm afraid. I don't mean to sound so harsh but there's no way on earth I would allow my husband to keep any drug in my house with children around especially a drug like coke!

Atenco · 02/08/2015 17:16

If it was heroin he was doing I bet you would have no quams about kicking him out and ending it, yet because Coke seems to be an acceptable party drug then it hasn't seemed to cross your mind to be anything other than cross

And coke is actually worse for society than heroin. Heroin users are theives and totally untrustworthy but rarely violent, whereas coke causes unbelievable levels of violence, starting in the home.

Shakey1500 · 02/08/2015 17:20

Utterly selfish git. There's no way I could be in a relationship with someone like that. The very least he could do (without the pathetic drug taking) is give you a complete break today.

What happened the last time he took it? Was he remorseful? Or is this now going to be a regular thing going forward? And if so, could you live with it?

HoldYerWhist · 02/08/2015 17:22

He does this in the house with his dc there??

What a prick. I can't see this getting any better for you. Pack his shit and get him out.

When he decides to grow up then maybe he can come back.

That's the stance I'd be taking. Flowers for you.

goddessofsmallthings · 02/08/2015 17:35

I suspect his latest purchase went straight up his nose, but have you checked the back of, and underneath, drawers to see if anything has been taped to them?

Most dedicated cokeheads know to keep their stash near the toilet where it can easily be retrieved and flushed away in an emergency; look under the cistern lid and check out containers in bathroom cupboards - if there's a tin of talcum powder lurking in a corner, taste it to make sure it is what it claims to be.

MysteryMan1 · 02/08/2015 18:48

Why are you with someone who takes coke?

Original poster
LoveLetters · 02/08/2015 21:18

I found the last of it... which was a gram. I've told him if he does it again he can move out. He said that he didn't even know why he did it, it wasn't even enjoyable. So putting his whole life at risk for something not even enjoyable. He has promised me he isn't interested in doing it again so I am hoping this is the last of it. Anything else and he will be out on his arse so quick his feet won't touch the ground.

OP posts:
ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 02/08/2015 21:28

Fingers crossed he means it. Hopefully a less stressful day for you tomorrow! Flowers

goddessofsmallthings · 02/08/2015 21:32

A good toot is very enjoyable, but he might just as well have burned £50 and snorted the ashes as it seems he scored a baggy that contained very little in the way of cocaine.

Let's hope it's put him off and that you both mean what you say.

Original poster
LoveLetters · 03/08/2015 10:10

And what is great is that he can't hide the fact when he has done it because it gives him a nose allergy, he spends the next two days blowing his nose constantly.

OP posts:
HawkEyeTheNoo · 03/08/2015 10:19

Goddess of small things, why would you even say that? "A good toot is very enjoyable" what the ACTUAL fuck?!?!

pocketsaviour · 03/08/2015 10:21

Hawkeye do you really think people would take drugs if it wasn't enjoyable?!

Original poster
LoveLetters · 03/08/2015 10:26

Some people whether you agree with it or not do enjoy drugs and don't have a nasty little habit.

OP posts:
Isetan · 03/08/2015 10:31

I know you're angry but what's different this time? You made your feelings clear last time and that didn't deter him. Your exhaustion should be the least of your worries, he had cocaine in the house with a toddler, which makes his behaviour way beyond selfish.

Notnowdarling01 · 03/08/2015 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Isetan · 03/08/2015 10:35

He doesn't know why he does it, apparently doesn't enjoy it but it's not a habit, what would you call it then?

hashtagwhatever · 03/08/2015 10:43

The fact he takes it even though he isn't enjoying it shows he has a real bad habit as does doing it alone in the house. It can't just be a once in a blue moon occurrence

I say this from experience, not me personally but a close relation.

MrsHathaway · 03/08/2015 10:52

A single use wouldn't be a nasty little habit, no, but keeping drugs in the house even though you have a toddler and a pregnant wife, and taking them even though you didn't really enjoy it, is a very nasty habit.