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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

5:30 am and I'm raging

85 replies

LoveLetters · 02/08/2015 06:02

Currently 14 weeks pregnant with 2 DC. DH did coke last night against my wishes. He is still walking around at this time of the morning blowing his nose and still buzzing. This week, even though I am absolutely exhausted with pregnancy and having to keep getting up with a 2 yr old at night, he doesn't seem to care that I need help and that I'm on the verge of passing out most of the time. I have no one else around to help. He woke me up at 4am and I am so angry at haven't been able to go back to sleep. I'm going to be so ill tomorrow from lack of sleep. And oh joy... My son is now awake.
I really don't even know how to think right now.

OP posts:

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HawkEyeTheNoo · 03/08/2015 22:55

Sorry, the above is to love letters and pocketsaviour

HawkEyeTheNoo · 03/08/2015 22:54

I really don't think posting "a good toot is enjoyable" is appropriate AT ALL. That'll really make the OP and others whose lives have been blighted by drug abusers feel really great! And whilst the point being made "do you really think people would abuse drugs if it wasn't enjoyable?" Well actually yes, it becomes an addiction, I have spoken to hundreds if heroin abusers whose lives are ruined and they know it, there is nothing in it for them now than the release from the pain withdrawal causes.

So I stand by my statement of posting the response to "a good toot is enjoyable" as what the actual fuck!! As it's entirely inappropriate to advocate the use of drugs as being enjoyable, anywhere, at anytime, to anyone!

IsItMeOrIsItHotInHere · 03/08/2015 17:54

totally agree happy

It's a fool's game. Any smug person who thinks they have it all under control is one step away from the slippery slope. For WHAT? If life's really too dull without them then they need to take a good look at their life.

happy2bhomely · 03/08/2015 17:12

My 31 yr old school friend died 2 years ago after a particularly heavy night. He was a weed smoker, drinker, and used coke when he was on a night out.

He died of a heart attack, leaving his 3 yr old and pregnant girlfriend.

I don't believe he was a bad person. His family loved him. He was addicted to drugs and he was selfish beyond words because of it. His girlfriend just kept saying that he promised he wouldn't do it anymore. The image of his 3 yr old at his funeral holding a balloon 'for daddy' will stay with me.

Drug users are selfish, sick people.

WashingUpFairy · 03/08/2015 16:52

Drugs turn people into deadbeats.

Your "darling" husband is bullshitting you by saying the words he knows you want to hear.

He is a loser and a liar and you're kidding yourself if you believe otherwise.

I'm sorry.

MrsHathaway · 03/08/2015 15:33

Are you talking about yourself?

LoveLetters · 03/08/2015 13:28

I never said he didn't have a habit I was taLking about SOME people.

OP posts:

mummyguts · 03/08/2015 11:26

Very similar behaviour to this is what made me leave my xp, and I'm enjoying my pregnancy a lot more without him around remember to keep putting yourself and your children first, that is the most important thing

pocketsaviour · 03/08/2015 10:56

I think OP probably meant that SOME people (not necessarily her DH) are able to take drugs socially and not have it impact themselves or anyone else.

OP, hope this is the wake up call for your DH. Good luck.

Randomcafe · 03/08/2015 10:56

When I read the OP I thought, ok I'd be pissed off at him for coming home in that state and make him grovel, but could understand and forgive a rare regression to former child free behaviour. But on reading further that's not what this is and don't let him down play it. It's a recent discovery for him, which is now a regular habit and he keeps drugs in the house - absolutely not on. You are fully justified putting your foot down on this. He needs to snap out of it and realise how selfish he's being.

MrsHathaway · 03/08/2015 10:52

A single use wouldn't be a nasty little habit, no, but keeping drugs in the house even though you have a toddler and a pregnant wife, and taking them even though you didn't really enjoy it, is a very nasty habit.

hashtagwhatever · 03/08/2015 10:43

The fact he takes it even though he isn't enjoying it shows he has a real bad habit as does doing it alone in the house. It can't just be a once in a blue moon occurrence

I say this from experience, not me personally but a close relation.

Isetan · 03/08/2015 10:35

He doesn't know why he does it, apparently doesn't enjoy it but it's not a habit, what would you call it then?

Notnowdarling01 · 03/08/2015 10:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Isetan · 03/08/2015 10:31

I know you're angry but what's different this time? You made your feelings clear last time and that didn't deter him. Your exhaustion should be the least of your worries, he had cocaine in the house with a toddler, which makes his behaviour way beyond selfish.

LoveLetters · 03/08/2015 10:26

Some people whether you agree with it or not do enjoy drugs and don't have a nasty little habit.

OP posts:

pocketsaviour · 03/08/2015 10:21

Hawkeye do you really think people would take drugs if it wasn't enjoyable?!

HawkEyeTheNoo · 03/08/2015 10:19

Goddess of small things, why would you even say that? "A good toot is very enjoyable" what the ACTUAL fuck?!?!

LoveLetters · 03/08/2015 10:10

And what is great is that he can't hide the fact when he has done it because it gives him a nose allergy, he spends the next two days blowing his nose constantly.

OP posts:

goddessofsmallthings · 02/08/2015 21:32

A good toot is very enjoyable, but he might just as well have burned £50 and snorted the ashes as it seems he scored a baggy that contained very little in the way of cocaine.

Let's hope it's put him off and that you both mean what you say.

ICantThinkOfAUsernameH · 02/08/2015 21:28

Fingers crossed he means it. Hopefully a less stressful day for you tomorrow!

LoveLetters · 02/08/2015 21:18

I found the last of it... which was a gram. I've told him if he does it again he can move out. He said that he didn't even know why he did it, it wasn't even enjoyable. So putting his whole life at risk for something not even enjoyable. He has promised me he isn't interested in doing it again so I am hoping this is the last of it. Anything else and he will be out on his arse so quick his feet won't touch the ground.

OP posts:

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MysteryMan1 · 02/08/2015 18:48

Why are you with someone who takes coke?

goddessofsmallthings · 02/08/2015 17:35

I suspect his latest purchase went straight up his nose, but have you checked the back of, and underneath, drawers to see if anything has been taped to them?

Most dedicated cokeheads know to keep their stash near the toilet where it can easily be retrieved and flushed away in an emergency; look under the cistern lid and check out containers in bathroom cupboards - if there's a tin of talcum powder lurking in a corner, taste it to make sure it is what it claims to be.

HoldYerWhist · 02/08/2015 17:22

He does this in the house with his dc there??

What a prick. I can't see this getting any better for you. Pack his shit and get him out.

When he decides to grow up then maybe he can come back.

That's the stance I'd be taking. for you.

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