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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Never thought Id be here - heartbroken

129 replies

OhHolyFuck · 27/07/2015 07:23

Last night DP told me he doesn't love me anymore and is leaving - we're due to get married in 6 weeks and Im 18 weeks pregnant with DC3. We've been together 7 years. I've spent the night at my best friends crying and on my way home now - tell me what to do? Tell me it gets easier or at least stops physically hurting? I love him but he doesn't want me, my narc mother is going to bloody love this. Im so so sad and lost, how do I stop myself begging him not to do it? I know I sound pathetic... I so wanted my children to have parents together though

OP posts:

magoria · 31/07/2015 17:07

Is it possible to talk to your work and get back on days?

Myturnnow4 · 31/07/2015 17:34

I really sympathise. I'm up to taking life about 6 hours at a time. Things really do get better (for a start, it'd be impossible to survive if things didn't).

Twodogsandahooch · 31/07/2015 17:50

Can you face full fat coke? You need calories in some form.

I really feel for you. My parents split up when I was 16 and I will never forget the raw pain that my mum was in over the first few weeks. She did survive though and now has a lovely second husband who is a much better match for her.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 01/08/2015 00:43

Yes, I agree that you should switch to full sugar drinks so you get some energy from them - diet drinks at this stage are useless to you. Ginger ale (full sugar) is better for settling the butterflies in the stomach in general, I found.

I also wanted to dive headfirst into the nearest bottle of alcohol for a bit - but then absolutely couldn't face the thought of the hangover on top of already feeling like shit, so made a conscious decision to stay off it altogether as I feared if I started, I'd never stop :(

Glad you're managing to eat small amounts - good luck with the curry.

Dowser · 01/08/2015 12:41

Aww two dogs , my daughter will remember exactly what you went through supporting your mum. I was in the same unholy mess and I dont know how I would have got through it without her.

Thankfully there's life on the other side and I too am with my lovely OH who I am more suited too as well.

Hope you can get on days op. so much better when you are carrying a little one.

Original poster

OhHolyFuck · 09/08/2015 11:53

For anybody still following this whole sorry saga, I thought I'd update - I lost the baby on Thursday (at 20 weeks) and had surgery on Friday
I can't sink any lower, every bit of me hurts and yet i feel nothing

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 09/08/2015 11:56

Oh no :(

I am so so sorry. My heart is breaking for you.

minsmum · 09/08/2015 12:02

So very sorry

Yoyoyopo · 09/08/2015 12:08

Im so so sorry - thats a terrible thing to go through I hope you have support?

JsOtherHalf · 09/08/2015 12:14

I am so sorry to hear the news about the baby.

stepsharp · 09/08/2015 12:31

Oh no OP! How terrible, I'm so sorry.

bluespitfire · 09/08/2015 12:35

I'm sorry OP.

Callico · 09/08/2015 12:57

I'm so very sorry

GammonAndEgg · 09/08/2015 12:57

So very sorry to hear this.

Is anyone with you?

maras2 · 09/08/2015 12:58

Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss,love.Please look after yourself.I wish that I could be of some real help.

purplepandas · 09/08/2015 13:05

I am so sorry op for the loss of your beautiful baby. Do you have anyone to help with the other children and to be with you? You need lots of TLC. There are groups you can talk to about losing a baby if you want. E.g. Sands have an online forum and also a helpline. www.uk-sands.org/support

I have only just seen your thread and I too am sorry for your OH's behaviour. I have no words.

Original poster

OhHolyFuck · 09/08/2015 13:09

No, Im on my own - no family and friends all busy/at work
Im ok though, have just ordered the food shop and DS1s school shoes, feel if i stop, I'll be left alone with myself and it'll all come crashing in on me and then i don't know how that'll feel or how I'll cope, you know?

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 09/08/2015 13:10

Has he been of any use?

He should be stepping up now, taking care of the kids while you take care of yourself.

I have PMd you.

Finola1step · 09/08/2015 13:14

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

purplepandas · 09/08/2015 13:30

Sorry to hear that you are on your own op. What you say makes sense about keeping going. We are here to listen, truly.

One step at a time, you need to look after yourself and your DC. That is what is important.

featherandblack · 09/08/2015 13:59

This all sounds agonisingly painful :( I'm so, so sorry.

Though it may not feel like it, you wouldn't want to be with someone who could do this.

Original poster

OhHolyFuck · 09/08/2015 14:24

Bogey thanks, I've got back to you

He's had the kids from Thursday night to this morning as I had to go to the next city to have the operation done - he's working all the next week though so he won't be here to do any kids stuff til the weekend.
I've booked DS1 into the summer club a few days this week so that'll ease things up a bit (other than getting him there and back) but right now he's being quite stroppy and hard work, I don't blame him, poor kid, his little life has been turned upside down these last few weeks.

I physically feel sore and tired, emotionally - theres no words.
Thank you all for the kind words, it helps to read(and reread) them in the tough moments..

OP posts:

Bogeyface · 09/08/2015 17:04

Ohholy I havent had a PM from you.

Glad that he has at least been of some use.

How has his attitude been to you and your loss?

Nonnainglese · 09/08/2015 17:16

So, so sorry, thinking of you ((hug)) x

ListenToYourHeart · 09/08/2015 17:33

Thinking of you, and really feel for you.

I can imagine what you're going through and so so sorry for the loss of your baby.

I've been through the relationship side of things. PM me if you ever need to.

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