DRY 8!!!!!!

[CheesyNachos]

Hello! This is our 8th! thread for those who are abstaining from alcohol and for those who want to abstain. :) We love newbies and lurkers. We have people who have been DRY for years, for months, for weeks, days, and hours. :) ALL are welcome. We have heaps of tips and we offer support at any stage.

DRY 7 the previous thread is here...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2347295-DRY-7?

Hi vxa, six days is fantastic, well done. The very beginning was most difficult for me and I felt really ill. My body was doing a bit of a detox I think so I felt sick, lightheaded and had some headaches. I'm on day 11 and that has stopped now. In the last couple of days I have found myself with a lot more energy and motivation, I feel happier all round. I have gotten myself organised - by accident really - and have got loads of stuff sorted out that I'd been putting off. I seem to have so much more energy and enthusiasm for things now. I have found myself thinking that now I'm out of the habit I could have the odd glass but I know that very quickly I would drink every day again and I'm past that now. It isn't what I want my life to be like.

What's everyone up to this evening? I've made a curry and am going to choose our wedding photos for our album. We've only been married for six years and have never gotten round to it!!! I'm getting the album sorted for my dh's 40th .

I assume it's metronidazole BamBam as that's what I got when I suffered from abscesses all the time? God don't drink on that, you'll be sick as a dog. Are you taking ibuprofen, that works better than paracetamol as it's an anti-inflammatory. Try nurofen plus, it's otc and contains ibuprofen and 12mg of codeine, was a bleeding lifesaver when I had terrible teeth trouble the last couple of years. I have much sympathy from me

Welcome vxa :)

BamBam Rescue remedy has alcohol in it!!!!!

Also codeine is addictive so go easy on that if you need to take to help pain. BamBam dose up on pain killers, get some oil of clove to put on it and put yourself to bed. Drinking will make the antibiotics ineffective and as custard said if it's metronidazole you'll be really ill if you mix
Welcome vxa from me too :)

Stay strong BamBam

Welcome vxa. Everyone is lovely here and if sobriety is your goal, there are lots of tips and handholding to be had if you need it.

bambam, sorry you're having such a tough time. Try to distract yourself, trawl the internet, google sobriety, make a cake (not good for toothache, I know). Try to keep on your feet cos I always found once I sat down I needed a glass in my hand. Or my new fail-safe is my bath - candles, bubbles and some music - works every time for me. Or teapot's suggestion of an early night is always a good plan.

Hadron, hope you can get up from your blip and keep going - are you planning on doing sober October?

I'm now at 20 days which may not seem much to the veterans but considering where I was a month ago, that is one hell of an achievement and what is surprising me is I don't actually want a drink. Whenever I have stopped before I have always had to battle that hankering, I really am hoping I've cracked it this time.

Ahh yes definitely easy on the codeine if you do need it. I'm hyperaware when taking it as I know a few people who ended up addicted to the stuff. Three days max I think is the recommendation, says on the pack anyway.

Lovely when that fog lifts Marrou. I had a curry myself tonight and hung up some pictures that have been sitting in a box from moving 5 months ago:) Tomorrow will be rushing around at the last moment getting sorted for lo's birthday at the end of the week. Tomorrow is also the day I will be 9 months sober! Can't believe it.

xpost. I have a tendancy to make tea in the middle of posting. Well done on 20 days bubble! I know for me the early days were the hardest so for you.

Thank you for welcoming me back bambam and bubbles. My head is in the right place, and I'm not going to fail again. Telling EVERYONE I'm not drinking for Oct will be a start (no excuses).

I really cannot be near alcohol or have it in the house. I was doing so bloody well!

Welcome new people.

Hi vxa! Well done for recognising your alcohol consumption was hindering your mental health and huge congratulations for being honest with those helping you and also for making 6 days. Keep posting here or reading back old posts for extra knowledge / tips / identification.

BamBam if you're not in bed already, definitely go there now. If you feel shitty and DP is drinking, you need to remove yourself from the situation. An enforced week off could be a great way to get over the initial cravings and as others say, you will be really really ill if you drink on that antibiotic.

For everyone who has slipped up, the main thing is that you've been honest with yourself and that you want to keep on trying. I had a few false starts but kept trying and using the long term sobriety if others around me in AA meetings as motivation and proof that it could be done.

Personally, every slip up convinced me I was alcoholic and could never drink safely again. Realising that was quite a relief as I didn't have the internal argument every fucking day deciding if I should buy wine or not.

The choice used to be "not drink today or shall I just have a bottle, surely that won't hurt, everyone has a drink at the end of a hard day don't they, I'm not that bad, I'll just have a week off starting from tomorrow".

Now it is "not drink or drink and eventually die". It's much easier!

Holly How are you getting on? Overall I feel loads better, but I want to sleep such a lot. My mind wants to go out running, but my body is lagging behind.

Hi vxa. I am also on citalopram and I think drinking negated any positives of taking them. A few months back I ran out and had no tablets for two days. I was a vile person for those two days. Last week I again had to go without for a couple of days, my mood was ok. It has remained pretty stable since I stopped drinking.

Welcome back Hadron.

Geoff that is such a good description of the internal chatter.

Bam I hope you're safely tucked up. As Geoff says this week could be a good opportunity for you to get some good sobriety under your belt even if DP is drinking.

I read this today and wanted to post it to the thread, from I Fly At Night's FB feed. She's just celebrated a year sober, but had (as she would put it) about a million 'false starts' beforehand. I've tried and failed to link to it here, but if you search for "I Fly At Night" on FB it's her latest post. Here's some of the text from it:

I've had a lot of people message me asking what made the difference? After so long of stumbling, what helped me actually put sober time together? How'd I make it past day 2, 20, 50. There's no single answer, but the biggest piece is this: I STOPPED LOOKING FOR THE THIRD DOOR. I finally realized, after much, MUCH, research that another option - one besides continuing as I was with drinking, or getting sober - didn't actually exist.

+ There was no 'controlled drinking' (even though I could control it sometimes, it wasn't sustainable).
+ There was no 'learning how to drink like a lady'.
+ There was no way to rewind back to the days where I could 'handle it.'
+ There was NO WAY to reverse back and un-cross that invisible line where I went from a regular drinker to a problem drinker.
+ There was no way to be sober-but-not-really-sober-all-the-time (couldn't I just drink now and then, on special occasions? Did it really have to be all or nothing?!).
+ There was no way I wasn't going to have to really change my life.
+ I was not special; there was no edge case just for me (I HATED THIS ONE).

In short, I finally, regretfully, painfully and not without a huge fight stopped looking for a third door. I stopped fighting with reality. The reality was that my drinking days were through. The reality was that what once was was no longer (and hadn't been for a long time). The reality was God had a much, much, much better plan for me.

This was as much a discovery as it was a decision, day after day. I sat like a 3 year-old having an epic temper tantrum in front of door two, and then finally opened it a crack. Then some more. Then I walked through. Then I jumped back out and shut it again, "hell no!" And then I walked through it again. And again. And again. Until I realized it was so much more beautiful and free behind that door than anything I could have imagined elsewhere. But it took time and FAITH. Walking through door two takes epic amounts of faith.

Let me tell you, a split mind is purgatory. It is total hell. It's exhausting and futile. To all of my sisters and brothers who are still arguing with reality, I feel you. I get it. If and when you decide to walk through door two, there will be thousands of loving arms ready to high five you and walk you through until you want to be there.

Thank you for posting that Teapot. I will take a look at the fb post.

Glad you liked it. I feel exactly the same way; one of my 'lightbulb moments' was the simple realisation that I would never, EVER be one of those people to nonchalantly nurse a glass of wine over a couple of hours in a proper 'give or take it' kind of way. And in that tiny little defining fact lies my problem, and it will never, ever change.

teapot - give me a "Hell Yeah"

Bang on. Surrender is the ultimate victory.

Good morning everybody! Thank you so much for all your encouraging words last night. I couldn't get a chance to post, but it was lovely to read your support.

So, I am still sober, and didn't drink last night. Basically, we decided to go for a drive somewhere we hadn't been before, and when we got back, I decided that I, "deserved a drink", so I poured a tiny one with loads of coke and took about 2 sips. I then thought, "what the hell are you doing??", and poured the rest away. Am I allowed to count that as an AF night? I then read all your posts about how ill I would have been, so I am very glad that what little common sense I have around booze kicked in. I didn't sleep too well last night, but feel pretty good this morning, and DP reckons he will try harder tonight.!

I love that fb post teapot.

Geoff your post perfectly sums up the internal voice for me. I am hoping that, like you say, this enforced week of sobriety will do me the world of good and strengthen my resolve through the tricky first few days.

Off to clean the cat litter tray now.

Sorry for the emoticon-tastic post!

Well done bambam. Your post made me realise how much harder it must be with another drinker in the house. I regularly throw away out of date beer as my husband hardly drinks (but does go on big nights outs with mates and says never again every few months months). You'll have to go driving every night!!! Well done for last night.

I'm back on track with a clearer mental picture of what the future will look like if I have wine in my life. Falling off the wagon at the weekend made me realise how much I NEED to live a dry life.

Thanks hadron. It was hard having DP drinking, but, actually, once I had thrown my drink away and decided to be sensible, I could see how he was changing as he drank, and I was glad that I was staying sober. Also, the smell of booze when we went to bed was horrible.

Would it maybe help you for the future to write down how you feel about when you drank at the weekend, really go into detail about how crap you felt, and try to get that clarity onto paper so that you can always remind yourself? I always think that's an excellent idea, but then never get round to actually doing it! I suppose this thread provides somewhere to do that though, without having to keep an actual journal.

Hi again friends! I go on a business trip by myself every Wed-Thurs and this is when I tend to reflect a little and read your posts. That stuff from the blog above is excellent.

So, I am at day 33 now! Woo -a month! And a third of the way through the 100 days I committed to. Something big happened yesterday. I had coffee with one of my dearest friends - she's 20 years older than me but we play music together , talk about life and she helped my DS be born- she's fab. She's also a yoga instructor and cooks and eats beautifully - ie she is very in tune with her body and can often read what is going on with other people's. I hadn't seen her since before the 33 days and hadn't told her about being sober.

She said :"you know, something is going well with you - your new job? You have lost a little weight but it's not just that - you seem happier, brighter, comfortable in your skin. You looked totally different just walking down the street ."

So... Yeah. I told her why and we had an amazing, lovely conversation and she really got it (with alcohol she is one of these people who is practically allergic and so has tiny amounts only - so I didn't have to worry about sounding preachy ).

but yeah, that was the first time someone has commented on seeing a change. So it really is real!

If it helps anyone slightly newer: the last week or so has been much easier in terms of cravings. I know alertness is going to be important but the constant obsession with alcohol and not drinking has faded a bit.

Thanks friends!

9 months today and the weather outside is reflecting how I'm feeling. Bright and sunny. Going to order some new perfume and make-up as a sober treat.

Well done Bam, glad you got through last night ok. Love that post teapot, sums up exactly the conclusion I have come to this time. Your friend sounds lovely Sirenetta

Sorry have to keep it brief, laptop keeps freezing and something going on with my keyboard and skipping loads of letters. Flipping windows 10 no doubt. Have a good day all!

Oh well done custard! 9 months is fab! It's so beautiful here today as well, you can't help but feel optimistic.

You are doing so well sirenetta, and what a great boost from your friend.

My tooth is doing my head in. Two more days until it gets sorted, but I am worried that it will be a horrible, sore appointment, and then just as bad again afterwards. I have no faith at all in dentists.

Awesome 9 month achievement Custard
Well done BamBam
Lovely to hear sirenetta :)

Well done custard.

I hope your tooth gets sorted BamBam.

Somebody asked me what the film "Smashed" was about. It was about a couple who are both alcoholics. The wife decides she wants to stop and goes to AA. It is about her journey and her marriage. It is not oscar worthy, but good enough. For me, it provided a bit of relief from reading about sobriety. It is on netflix.

Hi everyone.

Hi everyone new. :)

I have had a slip again. I was too ashamed to come on here and tell you.

DParents are staying.......... I made their favourite Coq au Riesling thinking that it would be fine because the alcohol would be cooked out. (We had a discussion about it earlier in the thread). Maybe a small amount would have been..... or maybe it was a psychological thing, but it certainly triggered me. I had port after dinner last night..... wine today for lunch and wine for dinner. Now in bed and taking stock. I was thinking I would not come back and post... too ashamed, ..... and thinking that I just might have to admit defeat.

Feel tired and scared. Hoping the slip is not a slide.

Need to nip this in the bud NOW.

Feel rubbish.

Sometimes I decide I am tired with focusing on not-drinking so much and just want to be 'normal'. But not sure being 'normal' works for me.

I am also going to pop over on a new Stop October thread... maybe need a boost and a new goal.

and I am going to count days this time.... I never did it,...... I need to see an actual achievement.