I'll try and keep this short and factual as am far too tied up in the emotions and anxiety of the situation.
Divorced from ex H over 2 years ago. Kind of amicably. Two DC. He has them on average 2 nights a week, sometimes more, but all the school runs are done by me. I do most of holiday care. He's having 1 week off with them first week of August.
Ex H in a lot of debt although has good job. Earns around 26k. We live in Scotland do that's a good wage m
I earn about 40k but get the child benefit.
I pay for everything - the childminder fees (£750 a month), all dinner money, trips, stuff they need etc.
I don't ask him for maintenance ... and here's the problem - for the 3.5 years we've been separated he has insisted I need to give him money or he can't afford to live and will stop being able to have the DC overnight. This has been up to £500 a month but is now less.
Thing is he now has a very public relationship with girlfriend (18 months) - lots of stuff done as a 'family' etc with her 2 small children. Lots of nice days out to places that cost lots of money to get in and he gets the train very regularly to meet her as she lives an hour or so away. I know he paints me as the mad ex so not very grateful of my support. They're not living together though but I feel that they have plenty of money to pay for their lives themselves.
I can't think straight any more. I have debts and could do with that money but is it best for the DC not to rock the boat and carry on giving it to him? They seem to like their time with him.
I'm in a relationship too and this definitely isn't a case of wanting him back. I'm actually happy he seems to be settled by then he should consider his other responsibilities first. I just am worried for the DC what will happen if I stop bankrolling him.
So wise mumsnetters what do I do?