Here's a quick summary of my OLD experience which some may find interesting. For background I'm early 50s, very recently (too recently?) out of 25 year marriage ( discovered DH affair in Summer 2014 but he didn't leave until January).
I was not looking for anything serious. I wanted to get out, have fun, prove to myself that were some decent men out there who weren't looking for 30 somethings and make some new friends.
Since Feb I have had dates with 10 guys. Here is my 'tally'.
No. 1 lovely, amazing, good chemistry. It was all so new to me and I was too soon out of my ltr that I spoiled it by getting over keen too soon and scared him off. We still meet for lunch as friends.
No. 2 spent a month messaging before meeting up. He seemed lovely and I missed lots of red flags. When we finally met up he was 6 inches shorter and several stones heavier than profile pics. He sent me abusive texts for a while until I blocked him. This was my only very bad experience.
No.s 3,4 and 5 nice, decent guys but no chemistry.
No.6 was too old but good company and has now become a friend.
No. 7 looked nothing like his profile pic which was a big disappointment as on paper he was great. He was an interesting, clever, funny man and we're still in touch as friends.
No.8 - great guy - we went out for 2 months and had great fun but there was something missing for me so I ended it. We're still friends.
No.9 - we went out for 4 months. I should have ended it earlier but he was good company, very caring and we get on well. I ended it because we want very different things and he was quite uncompromising.
After No. 9 I decided to take a break from OLD until after my divorce is finalised next year.
At the start of November I logged onto Match to suspend my account and went through emails to respond 'thanks but no thanks'. Among emails was one so intriguing I had to reply. Short story, I have been seeing Mr V for a month and have fallen head over heels, as has he. Initially I tried to keep my feet on the ground but in the end I decided just to give into it and go along for the ride. I've been round the block enough to know that you don't get this feeling for someone too often in a lifetime and he is everything I would look for in a partner.
I know that the timing is not ideal. I know that it's too soon after my marriage breakdown to enter another serious relationship. I know it could crash and burn. My children are adults so no-one will get hurt but me so I will take my chances. I can't walk away from him. I will protect myself my keeping up with friends, hobbies and not spending all my time with him as I would like to!
For those of you who are struggling with OLD I just wanted to post my journey so you stay hopeful. Everyone's experience will be different. For me it was 10 months, 10 men, 4 new friends and one man who I hope and expect to be in my life for a very long time.
Apologies for the long ramble.