The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Soaking Up The Warm Sunshine, Instead Of The Warm White Wine!

[Mouseface]

Hi, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

A place for pouring out your heart without being judged, mostly because a lot of us have been exactly where you are right now, or somewhere similar.

We've been around for a while, so there's not much that we've not seen..... or heard.... or been through ourselves.

Some of the Babes are newer to the Bus, some of the Babes have been here on dear old "Gerald" (The name this Bus was given by one of the Babes, I forget who now!I suspect IsinDe or Silver) for a little while longer!

EVERYONE is welcome here. Drinkers, those who are complete non drinkers, and those who are somewhere in the middle of all of the above. :)

Some Babes are in control of their drinking, some not so much. It's dreadfully hard some days, days when there is nothing going around your head except thinking that you MUST have a drink and you sit there trying to work out when, what time you can have that first mouthful of ice cold poison.

Whatever your goal here, or why you're here, we'll all help you along the way, YOUR WAY.

There will be one of us on here that can relate to your life story as if it were a mirror they were looking at, someone to hold your hand if you want it, catch you if you fall, which you may or may not. Positive thinking, just One Day At A Time.

No one Babe is better than any other, we've all been addicts. We've all suffered, yes some more than others but it's not a competition (and no-one gets turned away) but if you rack up shed loads of sober days, you will be a winner on the thread!!

So, if you want somewhere safe to sit and enjoy the warming summer sun, come find a seat, have a chat or just sit and listen to the rest of us yakking on!!

Nice to meet you :) all.

Also, here is the latest thread -

THE LATEST THREAD WE'VE SHARED OUR STORIES AND EXPERIENCES ON

And this is the very first thread -

AND THIS THREAD, THIS THREAD IS EXTREMELY SPECIAL BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE THE JOURNEY STARTED, AND HAS SINCE EVOLVED OVER THE LAST SIX YEARS

Hope to chat soon, Mousey x

[venusandmars]

looking what is it with all the final nail in the coffin re work stuff?? You know, I think that is a load of nonsense. I completely, completely understand that you are in a shit place (on many fronts) but in everything you write you come across as a strong, intelligent, experienced woman. OK the big consultancy houses punt out 'super-bright' 20 year olds, but I KNOW (and I bet isindie would back me up on this) that most companies are looking for someone more rounder, more mature, with more gravitas. Or in my case - older, fatter and with grey hair I think that if you dare to peep inside your 'shell of feeling shit' then you will see that you know this too.

Come on, lass, you can really make this work for you. Without even really trying you have the possibility of a big contract. Well level with them. Tell them to put the contract out in stages: phase 1 - fact finding / analysis; phase 2 - proposals for change; phase 3 - implementation. Tell them that the skills required for phase 1 will be vastly different from phase 3 (unless they are lucky enough to bag a rare and unique creature like yourself of course...) so give them 'free consultancy' about their project, and then bag all the goodies when the time is right.

You can do it. You CAN, you WILL.

[venusandmars]

So now, after giving poor looking a bit of a slap (but a very kind and friendly slap), I'm back to my usual calm persona.....

ma so difficult with your dad - and you are giving such a lot to a man who didn't always play happy families himself. You are a star. It is so hard because often illness of old age, such as dementia, or parkinsons, also come with a degree of mental depression which makes you feel like you are facing several difficult things at once. But you know, with some of it, you can't actually do much to help, sometimes you just have to let it be what it will be. Of course I don't mean that you should accept anything inadequate in his care or socialisation, but as others have said, it can take a time to settle and then all you can do is respond to any positive glimmers. A relative of mine suddenly started getting comfort from singing old songs "I belong to Glasgow" became his favourite - even though he lived in Edinburgh and also the old tunes like 'daisy, daisy'. As soon as his family realised that they found a charity that sent people to sing. It only lasted a few months before there was another deterioration, but at least there was a little spark for a while.

baby oh dear your holiday 'experiment' sounds like it wasn't great. So if you get to repeat it will you try the same or something different? And if you stand back from the experiment, what could you do to make sure that the next time really IS different - take no money with you? Teel the holiday rep that you have an alcohol allergy (like some Japanese people do), go somewhere where alcohol is forbidden.... In the early days of being sober I went to a meditation course in a Buddhist centre - they asked that out of respect we adhered to their 5 ethics - not harming other living beings (so the food was vegetarian); resecting other people's property; avoiding sexual misconduct (very easy since the other participants were either horrid, or gay men); avoiding false speech; abstaining from things that cloud the mind - drink, drugs, internet habits...

OK, all other babes I was going to say 'hi' but I've prattled on too long and now my friend is coming round for tea. See you later (and welcome new babes).

[dementedma]

Venus you are such a wise and kindly person. What would we do without you? Am going to get some colouring books and pencils for dad. He was a maths teacher and always had a passion for symmetry and pattern and design. Maybe he could get into doing that.
Clearing his house this week was weird. No close personal feelings - he killed those off long ago - but small things triggered memories, not all good. His books : gardening,cookery,algebra,English literature and grammar, theology, social history, divinity.....what an amazing brain he had. And now he sits in a chair all day, wears a nappy, can't stand or walk unaided and can maybe, maybe, do some colouring in! It's very hard. Also hard to see the beauty and forgiveness in my mother, who visits him, holds his hand, talks to him - the man who made her life a misery through mental and physical abuse. Now they are old and care about each other. What a waste their lives have been

[Bloodybloodyhell]

Demented - hello to you too. It sounds like you're having a tough time - I'm sorry. I think those colouring books sound like a great idea. X

[venusandmars]

ma if I dare, I disagree - there is no waste about their lives, or about anyone else's.

Of course we can stand 50 feet back and we can examine our own life, or we can view someone else's life.. and we can judge and tut and harangue and sympathise and ........ (whatever)......

But at the core of each of us, we are all trying to do the best we can, each of us with whatever skills or characters or experience we have. And that is just fine. We are doing our best in this moment.

There is no waste in life. It is, what it is. Your mother has all the same qualities as you do - love, protection, commitment, sacrifice... I applaud you, and what you do . Vx

[spanna41]

Good Morning everyone

Marfisa 9 months is amazing, you are doing so so well. An inspiration for the rest of us. Thank you for sharing. I hope you're going to stick around. I find it really difficult to work from home - too many distractions even without the booze. I usually take myself off to the library and find a quiet corner. Have you tried working somewhere else? Keep on keeping on lovely and have a good day x

Welcome Bloody you'll get some really good support on the bus. Take one day at a time and be kind to yourself

Baby darling. You are an amazing woman. I think going on an all inclusive, it is near on impossible not to have a drink, after all they are free and unlimited I'm like 'what do you mean I can drink as much as I like' Lovely one, you are back, you are sober, compare how you handle things now to a year ago, you have come on leaps and bounds, reflect, it is the truth Are you going to throw yourself into the keep fit classes again? You know the drill and how much better you will feel. You achieved 2 months, you can and will do it again Be kind to yourself and as you know wise one, ODAAT. Mwah x

Sweet darling if you're lurking, I just wanted to send love & hugs x

Khalisi are you ok honey? please check in and let us know that you're ok x

April how you doing? x

Hope I agree whole heartedly with Venus you have it in you, you are an amazing lady, clever, strong, gorgeous and I know you can do it

Venus your posts are inspiring, thank you

Beaches squeeze for you x

Right must go. Have a good day y'all

[babyjane1]

Hi lovely babes,

Well I'm settled back into sober life!!! I have no desire to drink but everything seems boring and tough at the moment. My four year old is behaving terribly at the moment and it's bloody tiresome, won't sleep in her own bed, keeps running away from me and generally challenging me at every turn. The problem with depression is that you questions yourself endlessly and I never know if my thoughts and feelings about the house, kids and dh at any given time are real or just my mood is lower than usual.

Just before writing this it dawned on me I haven't left my house since I got back on Tuesday, it hadn't even thought that odd. Kids have been in the garden but I've been holed up and that's never good, what's worse I don't even want to go out and the good version of me hates being stuck in.

So I'm now ready, face on and forcing myself out for a bit of fresh air, I guess I'm seeing the triggers better and kicking their arse xxx



Anyway, I'm just rambling now, just thinking aloud.

Feel happier and much much safer when I keep posting, you guys are fab.

Thanks xxx

[aliasjoey]

babyj Is it my imagination, or are you lapses getting shorter and the time in between them getting longer? It sounds to me like you are becoming more aware. And you are right, lack of fresh air, exercise and just having a conversation with an actual grownup can really make you turn inwards.

ma What a lovely thoughtful person you are. I'm glad you are able to do something for your dad and hopefully do somethingfor yourself too.

Doesn't it seem like I am getting better at this voice dictation? Or maybe the iPad understands me more? Maybe one day it will take over and start writing messages on my behalf.…

[babyjane1]

This is also troubling me, can I ask those of you with a partner, is it normal to go through quite prolonged periods where you question your love for your partner? When they just annoy you and you feel lonely? I do and I don't know if it's real or just my depression talking. I'm thinking more and more it's my own unhappiness that leads me to be crazy manic filling my life with things to hide from this reality or just low mood. This is a genuine question, am I overthinking? Xxx

[babyjane1]

Hey joey yes your right, I'm defiinately more controlled and aware, still making mistakes but not 2 week long, death defying periods "on the drink". I'm so very glad about that but it's really made me look in finite detail at my life, like any mystery there are lots of red herrings and in my ridiculously chaotic and super sensitive head, it's trying to work it all out, I just want to be happy, it seems too much like hard work a lot of the time!!! Thanks for caring xxx

So how's everyone else?? And what's on for the weekend?? Xx

[aliasjoey]

Yes, i do

[dementedma]

baby I don't love dh any more if that helps.

[aliasjoey]

Hi, this is Joeys iPad. My name is Dick. I have absorbed Joey into myhard drive and I am using her to infiltrate the government and then to take over the world.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

[dementedma]

at joey
Am in the throes of a major series of hot flushes. I am melting!!!!
And work is shit. Down to the last 10k in the bank. Can't run a company on that......

[dementedma]

Has anyone been on the penises in shoes thread???
Some nice shoes for khalisi and baby
Some horrible willies though!!!!!!

[aliasjoey]

I am not Julie. I am dick. Oh by the way, I have built in satnav, if you need help on the bus to go somewhere.

maSpace I'm talking to me on the iPad

I am all

Ma My vocabulary does not recognise that word

[babyjane1]

joey you have made me laugh out loud, there's no way your a "dick" my lovely friend xxx

And ma I've told you looking up penis's is just not on, it's just weird!!!

I don't know, ma and her penis's and joey and her dick, my already crazy head is totally bamboozled xxxx

[dementedma]

joey your iPad cracks me up!
Goodnight babes

[lookingforhope]

Venus thanks for you wise words (wipes face and puts Barrie back in tank). I know you are talking sense, but yet again i feel I am watching chances slip away while nobody in our sodding department can even pick up a phone to chase up our VR . It's been going on 6 months one way or another and it is so draining. But your advice has perked me up a bit, thank you, I will try to look at that way. There will be more opportunities, I hysterical have to make them myself. Of course have no support in rl, but you lot help me more than you will ever know (oh dear I seem to have, err, hay fever making my eyes water)

Joey, you and your tablet are scaring me . Have you not seen Humans ? (Hides).

Ma . Big hugs. Hope you make some progress with your dad this weekend.

Baby, you sound so self aware and strong,but yes, staying in will get you down, hope you get some fresh air and exercise this weekend. Can't offer advice on Dh front, I haven't liked mine for years and am 100% sure that those feelings are genuine, but then he is an entitled twunt, and I don't think that is the case for you. Can you talk to him about your feelings?

Spanna, Marfisa, isinde and all ...Big wave. Sorry not to do longer post but am on phone.

Going away again today to go to a festival down South with work friends, then back tomorrow when it will be (whisper it) my birthday . Taking dd to a concert in the evening as the dates fell then and I knew WB would not be thinking of taking me out for meal or organising a party . So not around again for a couple of days but will try to be sensible drink wise, and see you on the other side xxx

[lookingforhope]

Have to. Have to. Ignore the word hysterical. Not quite at that stage yet

[dementedma]

Happy birthday for tomorrow hope. Have a lovely time with DD and we will raise a non-alcoholic glass to you here in the bus.

[Nomoreshame]

Can I sit on the bus quietly with you all for a while? I've been lurking for a long time now. My drinking has kind of crept up over I don't know how long -years really- so that now it's unusual to have a night with nothing. In the last few weeks I had been doing well at not drinking mon-wed but this week since mon I've counted and I've had 6 bottles of wine. On Wed I drank 2 bottles of prosecco because it was all that was in the house. This isn't good. I don't like to admit that I've got a problem even to myself. I really don't think I can admit it in real life. DH is drinking too much too though I don't think as much as me. We have a lot of stress in our lives but that's just an excuse. The wine is adding to my stress really, not helping it. I'm just not sure where to go with this. Do I have to give up drinking altogether? I hope not. I just don't seem to have a stop button. I've been trying to lose the last baby weight for a long time (baby is 7) The drink isn't helping I want to be properly present for my kids and not set them bad examples. Sorry for the ramble, I think I'm trying to admit the problem to myself and writing it down is doing that. I'm going to try not to drink tonight.

[aliasjoey]

nomore welcome and well done for being brave and making the first post. As for giving up, some of us have gone completely sober, others manage controlled drinking, it kind of depends how you cope I suppose.

Anyway, I'm sure wiser babes will be along soon with advice, in the meantime you can just say that you won't be drinking today. One day at a time. Is our mantra.

[Nomoreshame]

Thanks Joey I think I'm still trying to minimise this to myself. I don't really want to think there's a problem but I do know really that this level of drinking isn't normal. I'm going to take your advice and worry about what to do tomorrow when it comes. Just no drink today.

[dementedma]

Welcome nomore .