The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Soaking Up The Warm Sunshine, Instead Of The Warm White Wine!

[Mouseface]

Hi, I'm Mouse :)

Welcome to The Brave Babes Battle Bus.

A place for pouring out your heart without being judged, mostly because a lot of us have been exactly where you are right now, or somewhere similar.

We've been around for a while, so there's not much that we've not seen..... or heard.... or been through ourselves.

Some of the Babes are newer to the Bus, some of the Babes have been here on dear old "Gerald" (The name this Bus was given by one of the Babes, I forget who now!I suspect IsinDe or Silver) for a little while longer!

EVERYONE is welcome here. Drinkers, those who are complete non drinkers, and those who are somewhere in the middle of all of the above. :)

Some Babes are in control of their drinking, some not so much. It's dreadfully hard some days, days when there is nothing going around your head except thinking that you MUST have a drink and you sit there trying to work out when, what time you can have that first mouthful of ice cold poison.

Whatever your goal here, or why you're here, we'll all help you along the way, YOUR WAY.

There will be one of us on here that can relate to your life story as if it were a mirror they were looking at, someone to hold your hand if you want it, catch you if you fall, which you may or may not. Positive thinking, just One Day At A Time.

No one Babe is better than any other, we've all been addicts. We've all suffered, yes some more than others but it's not a competition (and no-one gets turned away) but if you rack up shed loads of sober days, you will be a winner on the thread!!

So, if you want somewhere safe to sit and enjoy the warming summer sun, come find a seat, have a chat or just sit and listen to the rest of us yakking on!!

Nice to meet you :) all.

Also, here is the latest thread -

THE LATEST THREAD WE'VE SHARED OUR STORIES AND EXPERIENCES ON

And this is the very first thread -

AND THIS THREAD, THIS THREAD IS EXTREMELY SPECIAL BECAUSE THIS IS WHERE THE JOURNEY STARTED, AND HAS SINCE EVOLVED OVER THE LAST SIX YEARS

Hope to chat soon, Mousey x

muddle why not tonight? Ok, so you've already got drinks in, and you've maybe even started... but imagine this....

Imagine that you take your drinks and you put them somewhere far away - in the garage, or take them to a friend's place, or god forbid, just tip them down the sink. Then imagine that instead you make a cup of tea, eat a boiled egg and toast. Then imagine you go to see someone for a chat - an elderly neighbour, a young mum who is stuck in with her kids, a pal who is feeling lonely. Take biscuits and flowers - share the biscuits, leave the flowers. Cme home and have a shower or a bath with luxurious bubbles - not because you are going out somewhere special, just because YOU deserve it - no rush, time to enjoy the warm water. Then pop into bed and read a book, or facebook, or look at mumsnet - enjoy being warm and dry and safe. And sober.

Then imagine waking up tomorrow morning - no dry mouth, no sticky eyes, no 'oh shit, not again' feeling. Won't that feel amazing?

It's not too late.....

Hey hope glad you survived the holiday.

Welcome muddle and welcome back hope!

Day 4 for me. Feeling really quite chuffed with myself. Had an awful night with teething DD last night and have felt rubbish all day, but kept reminding myself how much worse I'd have felt if I'd been drinking.

Oh my goodness - a rare event:

Scotland. Weekend. Sunny!

Off to the garden with my book

Indeed Venus. But I am off shopping for school trousers with Ds....that annual frustration of trying to find trousers to fit a big chubby lad!

And I'm packing up the contents of our flat. We'll have a garden to enjoy the sun in a couple of weeks but this is probably the only sunny day we'll get this year!

I have also missed the sun - unpacking, food shopping and wrapping dd's birthday presents for tomorrow! (she insisted we were home from holiday for it even though her sleepover party isn't until the end of next week. Unfortunately vile sister in law will be popping in tomorrow with her present, but she won't stay long when she finds I haven't bought any alcohol.)

Was your shopping trip a success Ma ? I have the opposite problem - trying to find trousers to fit a fairly tall lad with about an 18" waist. Usually resort to buying a belt and then poking extra holes in it with a bradall! Needless to say, he doesn't have my physique.

Day 1 today after holidays. No alcohol PLUS dieting. All I've had today is scrambled eggs with shredded ham, a handful of walnuts and a miso soup. Chicken salad for dinner. I need to lose at least 1.5 stone by Tuesday so I don't go to my meeting looking like Nursey from Blackadder . May have to settle for a flattering loose dress and a little less of a bloated stomach

April good luck with the move! Hope you find some sunshine before summer ends.

Venus - hope you had a good afternoon with your book. What are you reading? I started Wild Swans by Jung Chang on holiday - it is a fab read if you have a bit of time to spare.

What are we all up to this evening?

Hey "hope*. Chuckled at Nursey from Blackadder . Got the trousers, shocked at the waist size. Going to have to really look hard at his diet and try and work in some exercise for him. He's not chubby and cuddly(well he is cuddly) he's fat! My consolation is that the girls were like that at 13 and are now skinny gym bunnies.
I planned to visit dad but made the mistake of lying on the bed for a minute and have just woken up two hours later!
It's our 28th wedding anniversary today.......

Where the hell is everyone these days?

Sorry ma I am reading but am so crappity right now - I keep intending to quit drinking but keep failing

Joey, hello friend! Sorry you are feeling crappity. I am too actually, and hungry. As the bus is so empty this weekend you can snaffle some extra Opal Fruits while nobody is around (if we can find where they are hidden!)

Ma, wow, 28 years. How do you feel about that? Did you do anything to mark the occasion? My 20 year anniversary is coming up. I will actually be away in a hotel with just DS as he has a National competition. Am relieved not to have to pretend. Though last year, SiL gave WB money for us both to take me out for a meal and we have never been. In 12 months. I guess he can't think of anything worse than going out for a free dinner with just me. Twunt. I try not to think about it.

On the subject of kids and weight though, I just had some sad news today, one of my oldest friends got in touch to say her middle dd has been hospitalised with heart failure brought on by anorexia. She has always been naturally thin, but the last couple of times we met (we live miles away, only see them a couple of times a year), she has been noticeably quiet and even thinner than usual... It's such a shock, they seem like the perfect family on the surface - all very high achievers, good schools for the dcs, perfectly mannered children, similar ages to mine but not rude, lazy, sweary and sarcastic like mine can be. They all eat dinner together every night, go to church as a family, socialise together, excel academically and at sport, and my friend is supermum, I always feel like I'm a parenting failure when I visit. I was in tears earlier, it seem so unfair for them. I haven't told my two yet as don't want to spoil dd's birthday tomorrow. My kids have grown up with them, and me and my friend have known each other since we were 4. She is the last person I thought this would happen to. So sad...

Right, got to wrap the last one of dd's presents now before going to sleep (late Amazon arrival, it missed the wrapping frenzy earlier today!). I gave her an extra specially big hug tonight, my precious girl. We don't know how lucky we are sometimes....

joey I am very much in the same boat drinkwise and not even attempting to stop. I think I am getting worse! Hope things pick up for you soon
hope happy birthday to DD! Wedding anniversary was a non event as usual. Although, he surprised me this year with card and some earrings and a sludgy message on Facebook, which all our friends replied to so made him look caring etc. (Which, to be fair, he can be sometimes) But it was like ticking the boxes, and once that was done, that was it. He spent the rest of the day watching football. I did housework, cooked dinner,cleared up etc. Our bodies did not touch at any point during the day and that is what has gone, and what I miss. A hug, a touch, a joke..some contact that shows affection.doesn't even have to be love.Affection will do.

Sounds familiar Ma. I always get presents on my anniversary, often good ones, cos DD makes sure no occasion is left unmarked, but never a kiss or a hug. A smile is pushing it some years! It even seems odd writing 'with love' on a card these days. Perhaps 'yours cordially' would be better this year! Or 'best regards' . Haha, can't believe I am joking about it, it isn't even funny! How about 'dear husband, please find below the traditional greeting to mark another year in captivity of marriage, plus token gift. Yours sincerely, Mrs WB.'. D'aaaaaargh!!!!!!

It is strange that sometimes a long-running thread like this goes a bit quiet, and then for no reason it all picks off and trips along so fast that people can't keep up.

I'd encourage lurkers to let us know you are around - doesn't matter if you're drinking, or whether you're not drinking but feeling flat and un enthused - you never know when it helps someone else to read what you've posted. And there is no shame in making a big enthusiastic post about being sober, and then not being able to stick to it - that is all about being human. Which we all are.

Or maybe you're doing brilliantly and feel that you've got nothing to add - just come along and give us a smile.

A couple of years back I posted a series of (what I thought were...) rousing, uplifting, stimulating posts. The whole thread went silent as the grave - for a couple of weeks I thought I'd killed the whole thing.

hope that's exactly what I would have written, had I even given him a card....
Venus how's things dearest?
Has anyone else taken Clonidine Hydrochloride for hot flushes? They are making me feel really groggy and spaced out. Think I might dump them.....

ma I am well, but I've been frenetically busy. I'm self employed so I have to find the internal motivation (or the threat of external deadlines that I might miss) to keep my nose to the grindstone.

I don't have colleagues, and at the end of a busy day, I love to come on here and catch up with everyone's news.....

I think drowsiness, confusion, low heart rate can some of the more common side effects of clonidine, but the advice is to stop them gradually. Best speak to your doc? Have you got a good one?

Yeah. I've only been on them a few days but don't like them. Will give them a few more days.

I am lurking - it's been about 3 weeks since I fell off the wagon. Have had a fair few AF days in the week, but the amounts I'm consuming on boozy days are not what you'd call moderate!
So, it's the end of day 2. There's a definite pattern to it all, as soon as I perceive a drama, I get blootered. Pile of old arse. I need to get back into running as a displacement activity.
Went out last night to the pub - I wasn't the only person who wasn't drinking, and in actual fact, it was ok, once the diet cokes had kicked in, I was quite chatty. And we managed the half hour walk home, something I never manage after even a small amount of alcohol. A very old friend of mine rocked up absolutely steaming, and I was so disappointed in him - he was the last person I'd ever expect to get into that sort of state. I hope he's ok today.
In fact, the whole town seemed drunk and lairy last night - it really wasn't very pretty! DP was fine, he had a moderate amount, then got home & had a cuppa - if it was me, I'd have got stuck into a bottle of something. No bloody off switch!
Now, dilemma for the evening - is it too late for another cup of tea? I bloody love tea. Shame you can't get a decent cuppa in either of my locals, I'd be well sorted!

Aargh! Killed the thread. I should clarify about my friend - he was banging on about wanting to fight people, smashing glasses etc. Last time I saw him, he was happy, smiley nice person - never seen this side to him before.

Hi starburst and yes, isn't it interesting how going to the pub and being sober CAN be fine And observing other people who drank 'normally' gave me the biggest insight into my own addiction - normal drinkers could take it or leave it, normal drinkers could switch to tea after a couple of glasses, normal drinkers could keep bottles of wine in the house for ages without opening them, and didn't panic if there was none left.

Hope it's the start of a good week for everyone.

Morning babes, alcohol free this weekend, mostly due to the fact that I am dosed with a cold and I wouldn't have managed to cough and splutter my way through a drink.

Well done on your sober pub night Starburst . Must admit, I do find them challenging sometimes, but it depends on the company. Family birthday party for DD yesterday. Most of the guests no longer big drinkers but got booze in as SIL always expects it, so compromised with getting that fizzy Bellini stuff as well as some 'real' wine. When it was opened I took the advice of a babe on here ( Faire? Venus? ) and had a black coffee first. Then another coffee. Then lime and soda. Then ate the fruit, salad, houmous and crudités instead of trifle, crisps and cake (using the 'I'll have a piece later' trick!), washed up the minute they all left instead of finishing the open fizz, and was curled up with DD watching a film by 5.00pm! Small victory as I never get drunk at family parties, but trying to break the mental block where I say, 'I can't diet \ drink less until after x, y, z'. Unless you are an actual hermit there is always a reason excuse isn't there?

Not sure if I can apply this to my main trigger of stress / conflict though...

Obrigada hope you feel better soon hon

Venus, Ma, back in work this week. Waiting for answers on redundancy dates to see if I can still grab this freelance role. It is going right up to the wire now and other people are closing in on the role like sharks. Have meetings tomorrow and Wednesday. Eek! Stress!

Off to get a brew now and resume stalking line manager for updates.....

Thanks for the message venus I didn't manage to get through the weekend AF but I am now. Glad to be back but not sure how long I'll manage this time. Not sure whether I'm being negative or realistic!
What are others top tips? I know hypno has worked well for me in the past. AA not so much. Control drinking - pah!
Well done starburst on sticking with the diet cokes and the healthy living.
Hope your cold passes soon obrigada

Afternoon all - that last cup of tea was a bad idea last night - didn't get to sleep till past midnight. DP was up at 3:30 this morning for work, so net sleep for the night was probably about 5 hours - bleurgh.

Today, I learned that you can't do database coding while listening to the Ying Tong Song by the Goons without sniggering away wildly. No dramas, so no particular wrestling with the wine witch to be done this evening.

Obrigada hope you are beginning to feel better
Looking I think we may have similar triggers, although from seeing your posts, I think I've got a lot less to deal with than a lot of you babes!