Page 3 | Is this grounds for divorce?

Siennasun · 2015-05-30T23:32:32+00:00

I've started a few threads recently about my job/marriage and how it's all a bit crap really. Tonight DH and I went out together on a very rare night out just the 2 of us. DS staying over at PIL. Had a lovely night. Got train home. It's 20 minute walk from station to our house. Walk involves going through housing that's all very similar looking and I haven't done this walk often so don't know the way --and am notorious for having no sense if direction-- Anyway about 5 minutes into walk DH took my bag and ran off. So I was left with no phone, no wallet totally alone with no idea where I was. It took me 2 hours (in the rain ) to get home. When I finally did get back we were furious with each other. DH said he'd been looking for be but couldn't find me. Had a huge argument resulting in me giving him back my wedding ring, saying I want a divorce and calling my dad to come and pick me up. I'm at my dad's house now. Have I over reacted ? [sad]

ScorpioMermaid · 31/05/2015 12:10

wtf? what a twattish thing to do. What if something had happened to you? how dare he get angry for you getting lost? what a fucking dick!

BitterAndOnlySlightlyTwisted · 31/05/2015 16:58

Grounds for divorce? In my book, yes it is.

But frankly, you don't need any grounds other than you don't want to be married to a twat any longer. A twat who tries to pass off abysmally cruel behaviour on his part as a "prank".

Skiptonlass · 31/05/2015 17:01

He took your bag and ran off?? That's just.... So weird and horrible.

No, you're not overreacting. That's such an awful and surreal thing to do. It's not a prank, it's incredibly cruel. And so strange.

Please talk to your dad about this. As pps have said, abusers thrive on silence. Stay with your dad if you can and get this bastard out of your life.

3littlefrogs · 31/05/2015 17:05

Op that was an inexcusable thing to do.

I have no sense of direction and I would have been absolutely distraught if DH had done something like that to me (which he would never do because he is kind and considerate, in addition to having spent the last 35 years helping me to devise mechanisms for finding my way around).

Your "H" sounds nasty and untrustworthy.

Vivacia · 31/05/2015 17:15

I. Am. Speechless.

tribpot · 31/05/2015 17:33

This is your previous thread, OP.

Why didn't you tell your dad what had happened? You're under a huge amount of stress and some risk of physical harm at work, so your 'D'H thought the ideal thing was to serve up some more of each after a night out? Who the fuck does that?

LineRunner · 31/05/2015 17:35

If I had done that to my OH, and then got angry at him for not trotting home on time, I would be the biggest cunt in the world.

Mandatorymongoose · 31/05/2015 21:55

And while he had your bag he also went through your phone? possibly to delete shitty messages from himself but also a hideous invasion of your privacy.

Lovely.

Lweji · 31/05/2015 22:02

I very much doubt he sent any messages. It sounds more like he wanted to mess up with your phone.

I'd ask for his phone for proof.

ChilliAndMint · 31/05/2015 22:29

I could have written this post some 17 years ago. My then other half and I went out shortly after my having my second miscarriage. After a night out he went AWOL with the keys.
One minute we were walking the 1 and 1/2 miles home and engaging in normal conversation then he turned heel and left me.
Arriving home with no keys in the midst of winter I had to surmount my high fence and kick the back door in to gain access.
Several hours later he appeared and called me a lunatic, said I needed sectioning?
Next day all his belonging's were safely ensconced in the hostel he had booked himself into.
I rue the day I ever met the cunt. Several years later one of his girlfriends committed suicide. I'm certain he played with her head.
He want's out of the relationship, there is no doubt about it.
Don't even question why.... these are not the acts of someone drunk or otherwise intoxicated, you need to realise he is an uncaring and abusive twat that wants to undermine you.
This is not a one off is it? He's played with your head before I'm sure of it.

PerpendicularVincenzo · 31/05/2015 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EvilTendency1 · 01/06/2015 00:27

LTB - he's a selfish shit. Why would anyone think running off with a bag is a prank ?!

BrowersBlues · 01/06/2015 01:32

Chilli your post made my blod run cold. The same thing happened to me 20 years ago and it still stands out as one of the worst things that happened to me. Sienna it is rare for me to say LTB but please believe me when I say that of all alarm bells that went off this was one of the alarms that I definitely should not have ignored.

The mentality of anyone like your DH, and mine, that would do something like that sends off a very loud message - aka leave him. I would not say this lightly. These situations do not get better. My teenage children and I have sat around our kitchen table today, 17 years after I left him, and have discussed strategies about how to make ourselves safe. Don't stay with him, leave him and keep yourself and your DC safe.