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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What is the worst thing that MIL has done/said to you?

104 replies

Ilovemyboy · 09/11/2006 18:37

A negative thread I know but this nasty lady is in my head at the moment.

Need to know I'm not alone.

The worst thing MIL has done to me is sent DP a v.long email detailing each and every thing that she thinks is wrong with me and told him I am trying to rip their family apart.

Another corker was she told us, when I was 6 weeks pregnant, that our baby was a bad idea.

I could go on...

OP posts:
southeastastra · 09/11/2006 18:38

ooh that's not nice, my mil does tons of annoying things, but reading some mn threads none that vindictive.

tribpot · 09/11/2006 18:40

Mine is not in that league at all, although she is barking mad. Worst thing she has ever said, whilst I was eating my heart out trying to get bf established was "surely it's a natural process, I don't see what the problem is". (In fairness, having given birth in an era of practically enforced bottle feeding, you can see how she might have thought it was little more than a case of 'plonk baby on boob. Job done'.)

chocolatemummy · 09/11/2006 18:43

Hmm.nice lady then!

My MIL tries to be the best MIL in the world but trouble is she is very false and half the time you can't belive a word she says. She is friends with my hubby's ex which REALLY pises me off especially as she has put me and dh through hell.
I could go on too.........

Californifrau · 09/11/2006 18:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

holidaymum · 09/11/2006 18:45

Told the school gossips that the reason I split up with my ex was because I was having an affair (untrue it was because he had had one!)

Today had answer phone message from sil asking me to find a holiday cottage so that my kids could stay with mil for xmas!!!!!! Hadn't checked my plans for xmas or even my exes. Am currently fuming.

JonesTheSteam · 09/11/2006 18:45

Blimey Californifrau - I didn't know about that one!!!!

Californifrau · 09/11/2006 18:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

chocolatemummy · 09/11/2006 18:49

cali.... LMAO

well the ld reputation of MIL is not there for noubt

ComeOVeneer · 09/11/2006 18:50

Wouldn't know where tostart, one abiding memory is she told my boss at my wedding that when I had babies I wouldn't be returning to work . This was (a) not true at all and (b) something we had never discussed with her, but caused all kinds of problems when I did fall pregnant.

canadianmum · 09/11/2006 18:52

I can't even pretend to compete with the ones already mentioned but I find it really annoying and offensive when my MIL makes racist comments and somehow imagines that I will agree with her.

The latest one was walking through the park past a couple of non-white people and she said "you hardly know you're in England these days", or when she complains about slow service in a restaurant and says "they're probably coloured people in the kitchen". Grrrrrrrr

danceswithmonkeys · 09/11/2006 18:53

Dh and I had to have genetic counselling before trying for children because ds' family have history of horrific genetic disorder which means babies don't survive infancy (went to clinic in London had blood tests etc). We did this quietly so as not to upset anyone and then told mil that we had when we knew the results (dh carrier but I'm not so our children couldn't get it) so that she wouldn't be anxious when I got pg.

Move forward months later.....

I am pg with dd and we are discussing how colour blindness runs in my family. Mil is laughing and saying 'well you don't get that sort of faulty gene from our side'...she was joking but - I don't know how I didn't say anything.

It's great to get that off my chest, it's annoyed me for years...

ishouldbeironing · 09/11/2006 18:55

I was on the phone to MIL this week told her that DD was off school due to migraine. There followed a long tale from her saying that she had suffered migraines until she was in her sixties - and my DH has suffered them since he was 7.
I responded by saying at least I only had them from when I was 15 until my 20s to which she replied
" Yes she must get them from you then" [shock}

danceswithmonkeys · 09/11/2006 18:57

dh's family have history of genetic disorder, not ds' - sorry just re-read my post

chocolatemummy · 09/11/2006 18:58

mine just spends most of her time repeating herself, spend loads of time and money trying to help my dh's ex and son and has babysat for us about....oh..........6 times in 3 years?, buys my dd any old crap pointless stuff just because she feels guilty that she buys his son something everytime she leaves the house ( because he hasnt got his daddy)........ no he just has someone elses!
and is currently about to put dh's ex's sister up for a MONTH who she has only met once and is coming over form Oz, and expects me to be fine and dandy about that

RANT RANT RANT RANT

Quootiepie · 09/11/2006 18:59

When DH left me the day after he made me have an abortion, and didnt tell me he was going, I text him mum o please just say if she knew where he was as I was sick with worry and was going to phone the police. Did she reply? Did she bollox. Then, 4 weeks later, I asked DH to take me to hospital as I was still bleeding and in agony, but he fell asleep (still staying at his mums) so I rung house phone and begged her to get him as I needed to go to A & E, and no one was at home... "GO TO BED!!!, HE HAS WORK IN THE MORNING!!!!!". To pay for your mortgage, you bitch as your lazy "life partner" hasnt worked for 20 odd years He snuck snuck out the next night to take me as his parents wouldnt let him. Now, FIL has died I went over that night, have sorted out everything - I mean everything - headstone, finances, the lot - did I get an apology? A thankyou? Did I bollox.

chocolatemummy · 09/11/2006 19:03

horrible horrible horrible

my god we'll be MIL one day!

Quootiepie · 09/11/2006 19:05

learning lessons on how not to be a MIL.

Californifrau · 09/11/2006 19:06

This reply has been deleted

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chocolatemummy · 09/11/2006 19:07

exactly, thankfully I have only got a daughter,I think the ones with sons tend to be worse

Californifrau · 09/11/2006 19:09

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NAB3 · 09/11/2006 19:10

Well, I will never forgive her for it.

chocolatemummy · 09/11/2006 19:11

just an observation! lol I think it tends to be the whole 'no woman is good enough for my boy' thing, hence all of us WOMEN are ranting about our MIL's

ilovecaboose · 09/11/2006 19:12

ever seen this american site?
mils from hell

unknownrebelbang · 09/11/2006 19:12

I've got three sons.......

I'm very lucky that I had a reasonable relationship with my mil, as I did with my mum. MIL used to irritate, but mum was far more hurtful iykwim (not often, thankfully).

W stepmama is a whole different ballgame.

gymmie · 09/11/2006 19:22

Agreed - I think mothers of sons are far worse. Too much shared territory with daughter-in-law. My MIL is a manipulative cow. Wouldn't know where to start in giving you examples... it's the cumulative effect though. Years of not-so-little comments and total lack of consideration. Always inviting herself (and FIL) over for long weekends, without even checking with us first. (22 times in 3 years - I counted in preparation for a show down!)

Lucky though, that DH acknowledges her as difficult. Least he is on my side. Must be awful if you feel DH/DP is in the middle, or worse, always defending her.

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