What is the worst thing that MIL has done/said to you?

[Ilovemyboy]

A negative thread I know but this nasty lady is in my head at the moment.

Need to know I'm not alone.

The worst thing MIL has done to me is sent DP a v.long email detailing each and every thing that she thinks is wrong with me and told him I am trying to rip their family apart.

Another corker was she told us, when I was 6 weeks pregnant, that our baby was a bad idea.

I could go on...

My MIL passed away a couple of years ago, and she fab anyway. BUT my grandmother has been rotten to my mother. The worst was when my little brother died at 5 and half months, and she told my mother 'don't worry, you've got 3 other kids'

My MIL is lovely. She has made me feel very welcome and done everything she can to help me/us since we came to Oz.

She has only said once how she would have given dd a smack and sent her to bed, 'if she was her child' (after a terrible tantrum at dinner one day while we were staying there, but have to factor in tiredness etc). Nothing malicious, just how it was done 'in her day'. But she respects my way of disiplining (sp) dd.

But then her sil (in the UK) did tell me that I caused my pre-eclampsia which saw my dd being born very small at 36 weeks.

mine is nice generally but they're so bloody focused on enjoying their retirement, they're forever going on holiday all over the world, and not having to deal with the grandchildren if it doesn't suit - dh asked them a month ago whether they could babysit for one night in March next year - we'd like to go to a ball and stay in a hotel, first night ever away from the children and all that in what will be 8 years then.

A few hours later MIL rang to say that they can't really do it because they might miss out on some sleep. (this is the couple who will fly to India for 5 days, middle of the night flights etc).

They live quite close by but we get so little support from them, they had 4 children and no help and feel that we should experience the same level of hardship.

Of course all this completely pales in comparison with the seriously crazed MILs some of you poor people have!

Ohh - the perfect thread for me! Actually in many ways my MIL is lovely, and my children love her, BUT my dp's sister has two children almost exactly the same age as mine, and she plays favourites so much that I want to throttle her. She sees SIL's two practically every day, mine every three months (we live 250 miles away. An example - my dd was sitting on her lap doing her reading, SIL's dd came in said "Grandma, I want a drink" Mil lifted dd down in mid sentence and went off to get dn a drink. Not a word to dd - and dn kept her in the kitchen so she didn't come back to dd. Trivial, compared to some people's experiences, I know. {curlew gives curlew a good talking to!}

my MIL is lovely...my FIL on the other hand....

my dh and I decided to stay over on boxing day one year (pre kids) I was sat on the chair...dh had gone out to get a takeaway.
FIL comes down stairs after being asleep all afternoon...
He's in the kitchen..hasn't noticed me sat in the living room..
MIL says "Oh by the way..(dh and me) are staying tonight...so they can stay and have a drink...."

FIL's reply "oh your Fu*@in joking...they are always Fu*@in here"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well I died!! and so did MIL!!!
Then she stormed off into the kitchen...whispering very loudly
He popped his head around the door and said
"oh you alright love"

If the big lazy pig wasn't always in bed...he'd of known I was there!....and we were only always round there at MIL's request!!!!

well thank god shes not in our life anymore i refuse to let her see ds and she has no idea that im pregnant so heres SOME of the things

1. has told dp she will get a hit man on to him

2. has told dp she should of drowned him at birth

3. has told dp she wishes she had of had an abortion or MC him

4. has told everyone that i have brain washed dp

5. refused to recognise ds ASD

6. threatened to kill my mom,dad and brother as they to have brain washed dp

7. she worked in macdonalds and used to tell everyone that she sees her grandson all the time when of course she diddnt

8. have had a dinner plate thrown at me

9. threatened to set the dogs on me

10. i seen her once drop a burger on top of the cat food and picked it up and placed it on to my dinner plate

11. at dp nans funeral (id never been to 1 before) i was 5 months pregnant with ds and she had told no one i was pregnant as she said she was ashamed of me being the mother of her granchild

12. at the same funeral kept me apart from dp and refused to let us sit together allthough i knew no one their.

13. she went and told people that dp had hit her not true dp would never do that.

the list can go on and on and on, at least they have moved away now and we shall hopefully never hear of them again

Oh, where to start? She's never done anything that was 100% directed at me but...

She spent over and hour moaning how she had spent 10p on something for DS (which he absolutely adored) because she had picked it up thinking it was free, but, that was after she had asked us to pick up some orange juice and toilet roll for her on our way to her house - which we paid for, and she hadn't even been bothered to buy him a birthday card or pressie.

When I was 33 weeks pregnant, I threatened to go into labour, knowing that we don't have anyone else to look after DS at all, she refused to watch him for us so I could go to hospital because she wouldn't leave her cats for one night. She lives with her fiance so it isn't as though the cats would have been left alone starving or anything. I have had to book a home birth as obviously we can't rely on her for when I do go into labour.

She asked us to buy her a car, we did, £2600, she said she would pay us back £60 a month, over about 8 months we got less than £200 from her, and then she sold it to her friend for £600 and kept the money, we have never seen another penny for it.

She introduced our 4yo son to someone she knew was a convicted paedophile (who I might add she was planning on marrying!) and invited him to our house and didn't think that we would have a problem with this.

There are, sadly, loads more stories about her, but it would take me all day to go through them all.

Oh well, my fine Christian-going-on-missionary-jaunts-to-africa MIL (read born-again bigot) hasn't seen DD, who is 4 next month because I once went out for the afternoon to see a friend when she visited us (about a year before I had DD).

Over-reaction on her part? Clearly I am a bitch of the first order. I WENT OUT for 5 HOURS!. Shame on me and my daughter. Apparently she was deeply offended. Funny that she quite happily talked to me on the phone several times afterwards and then suddenly turned feral.

Thankfully moving to Australia has dealt with most of my annoying relatives. I highly recommend it.

when i was in hosp having ds2 in sep, i suffered with postpartum haemorrage (sp?). i wasnt allowed to hold ds as they were pulling me about all over the place, changing pads etc. (sorry tmi) dh was holding baby, he wasnt allowed close enough to comfort me.
ds was born at 00.45am. the doctors who had filled the room were talking about preparing theatre, saying i was going for an emergency hysterectomy! i'm 23!
dh and i were in a fit of absolute panic. luckily they stopped it with about 4 bags of prostoglandin ??? drip and tons of injections.
the next morning, dh made all the phonecalls to tell everyone ds2 had been born and sorry for delay but it was middle of night and i was poorly.
mil retorted : 'we obviously have very different ideas about what is important dont we christopher?' 'i cannot believe that baby has been born for over 10hours and you only just call me'
she wanted him to leave me,bleeding to death, facing the prospect of a hysterectomy alone, to go and phone her.
she is a nasty old bag who has no genuine interest in my kids anyway (she only ever comes round once she knows they are in bed!) and that was the icing on the cake.
i tolerate her but dh cant see any error in her ways at all. its very sad.

Ilovemyboy, i totally sympathise with you, my MIL did sort of the same, only to my face, (or in the room next door where it was pretty obvious i could hear her!)

Some of the things she said

• thought I was miscarrying (for the 4th time that year) and "it was my fault for heavy lifting" nothing to do with my blood clotting disorder"

• told my then 3 yr old he will die if he doesnt eat!

• told me Im a cruel mother, childish and I will drive my kids away

• told me i was evil and trying to steal her house from under her (we bought it off her so she could move abroad!)

I could go on! I lived with her for 4 weeks back in July, it was the longest and worst 4 weeks of my life and this women is coming back over from portugal in march for a week to see her new grandchild! Dunno how Im going to cope, Im thinking asupernanny style list of rules for her!

My MIL is a nightmare, but my FIL is worse.
She has always looked me up and down as if I were a piece of dirt every time I see her. She will talk about anything she wants to talk about, but if I try to start talking about something, she cuts me dead and changes the subject.
She is totally overbearing, bossy, bigoted, ignorant, ...the list goes on.
I let them look after my kids on a Thursday afternoon and last week, one of them had a tantrum and she phoned me the next morning and started shouting down the phone about how her kids never had tantrums and I should chastise them more etc..
For the first time in 6 years I stood up to her and said how I bring my kids up is my own business. I then went round to see her and had it out with her about why she was so unpleasant. Her reply was, I didn't think that there was a problem. ????
My FIL used to walk out of the room if I walked in, even at family gatherings, which was very humiliating. He totally ignored me. If I had my washing out, he would come round and light a bonfire next to it. He used to walk into my house without knocking when my husband was out and would just appear in the living room. He once walked in the back door when my husband was away at 8.30 am on a Sun. morning and it was a heatwave. I was 6 mnths pregnant and only had a short little nightie on and was doing the ironing. He didn't apologise, but just stood there. I did eventually face up to him and asked him why he treated me like this and what had I done to upset him? His reply was nothing.
It did get better after that, but he still comes round nearly every day to do jobs for my husband and I don't feel like I have any privacy.
The worst part is that my husband would never stick up for me and confront him. I feel betrayed by him. He is always on their side and this has led to a real rift between us.

god there are some mad MIL's about-mine is a darling MOST of the time. However does refer to me as a larger lady (I am a size 16!!) and constantly goes on about how skinny and pretty my SIL is (she's not BTW!!) very odd.

also said that my SIL will be a great mum as she is very chilled out not like you!!!
also my mum is gay and my MIL is so intriqued its almost worrying she asked me last week who was the bloke in my mum and partners relationship and how nice it is for my mum to have a special friend (WTF!!!)

About the worst was after the miscarriage I had last year, when I was 11 weeks pregnant. I'd been given a pregnancy test to do 2 weeks after the miscarriage. We'd come back from the hospital after having the scan that told us the worst, and DH rang his parents that afternoon to tell them. He also told them about the pregnancy test. So 5 days after the miscarriage MIL rang up.
MIL: Hello, Petunia. How are you?
Me: (very shakily, trying not to cry) I'm fine.
MIL: (very direct voice) Are you sure?
Me: (thinking bl**dy hell woman, can't you tell when someone's trying to put a brave face on something?) Yes, yes I'm fine (now determined not to cry).
MIL: (same tone as before) I'm just ringing up to see if you've taken the test yet?
Me: (heart sinking and gobsmacked that she'd actually got the b@lls to ring someone who'd had a m/c 5 days before, and ask such a question. What had it actually got to do with her?) No, it has to be done after 2 weeks.

Rest of the conversation was her blathering on about how she could "empathise" with me, and me trying to get off the phone.

When I got upset 2 days later about what she did/said, DH told me that I should "pull myself together". Not only do I have a MIL problem, I have a DH problem. This DH told me last night that he'll never stand up for me and the children against his parents because that might cause "conflicts".

When I had to put my feelings for her aside and invite her to our house on Christmas morning to swap gifs with our 3 children. She said she wouldn't be coming because she had a christmas dinner to prepare that morning (for 3 people) and anway, BIL and his child may pop in so she had to be there.

She loves my children so why she was unable to put her feelings to one side I don't know.

We ended up having to visit her, at her house, early in the evening and knowing it was still to come hung over me all day. Yuck.

I should imagine more of the same to come this Christmas. It ruins my day. I don't want to even have to consider her.

I also can't stand when she says to my children, "come and kiss me" - YUK YUK YUK.

Surely one offers a kiss to a child "can I give you a big kiss before you leave".

(about ds1, severely brain damaged) You should put that child away in a home.Repeat twice a week throughout his short life.

I thought everything was going swimmingly afte 6 years with DP....yes we're very different but we seemed to just rub along ok.....

WRONG....birth of second son and her becoming unwell clashed and she started to feel neglected by DP. Out came 6 years of pure evil. Even her friends have been shocked and tried to comfort us.

Mostly comments about my family looking down on her and our letting the children rule our lives.

Currently at total stand-off and can't see how things can ever be ok again. Still very sad about it all TBH. Keep telling myself that one day when my boys are married I may understand how she feels but I hope I can be a good MIL.

mumblechum, how disgusting .

mumblechum that's awful, i would've lamped her!! failing that, a comment like, "people with those sort of attitudes need to be in a home. an old people's home." nasty old bag.

my mil is a LOT better now dh and i are married but the wedding was a nightmare. she sent dh nasty emails, insisted on getting involved where we didn't want her to, and when we wouldn't let her get her own way said "oh well it'll be a shame not to know a grandchild!" i was SO PISSED OFF at the nerve of her trying to use my as-yet unborn child as a weapon.

on the other hand, i'm astounded at some of the stories on here. madness.

OMG at these stories!
My Mil started off really nice and friendly but as the years have gone on got worse and worse.
At the wedding refused to eat what we were having as she didn't 'feel' like it - we had only chosen the chicken as she didn't like any of the other choices!
Explicity said that she was disappointed that dd was not a boy as they are much nicer - wtf! and still only buys dd 'boys' toys.
and to top it off - I had an ectopic pregnancy in Sept, had to have emergency surgery during which I nearly died as my tube burst - she rang up and her first words were - I am sure you are over your little mishap that you had last week, I think you should let dh (her ds) go back to work now there is no reason for him to be at home you will cope better when you are made to

OMG MIL's can be so awful.

Ilovemyboy - yours sounds just like mine!!!

Mine said I'd only got pregnant cos I was having problems at work, I'm lazy cos not planning n going back to work after baby is born (err...no, i'm not, i couldn't afford the childcare!) and it's awful baby will grow up on council estate (i grew up on a council estate and actually we own our house and it isn't on a council estate)

They also leave me out of stuff and seem to think I'm only after their son for money.

Anyway last week I finally cracked (call it pg hormones!!!) and when DH phoned FIL I grabbed the phone and told him I was fed up of their f*ing snotty comments. Think he was taken aback (i daren't speak to them usually). Since then I've sent them an email saying everything they've done wrong since I met them (it was LONG!!!) and why they've upset me and insulted me.

It was great yesterday when I had a very apologetic email from MIL saying they were embarrassed at their behaviour especially as it had to be pointed out to them by their DIL!!!! RESULT!

wow - go nuttygirl - hopefully you will have a great relationship from now on

OMG some of these women sound like complete fruitcakes.

My mil is generally alright but she can be a bit two-faced IMO. When ds was 8 months old we went to stay with her, sil, who had previously never had any interest in ds became upset because ds cried every time she picked him up, and naturally as he cried I took him, and we were then accused of ?snatching him away every time she tried to get close?, this accusation came from sil?s dp and they told us we weren?t welcome at their wedding (two months later). So dh rang mil to tell her we wouldn?t be going to the wedding and told what had happened, where upon mil said that all the family thought that I was too possessive of ds and no-one approved of the way we were bringing him up (routine etc). It appeared the whole family had been talking about us behind our backs for months. I rang to try and sort things out and spoke to fil who laid into me saying that I was effectively harming my ds by picking him up when he cried, and by being with him all the time. Fil then didn?t speak to me for two years, even if they came to stay at our house.

Things have improved now, but things were said that could never be unsaid

Ooooh they?re coming to stay for the weekend tomorrow

oh yeh and about a year ago we went to their house to stay and sil mentioned that she'd seen dh's ex (a girl who had slept with dh' best friend) in town. Mil said how lovely it was and that she hoped she would see her as she was such a lovely girl and she really liked her wtf.