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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What is the worst thing that MIL has done/said to you?

104 replies

Ilovemyboy · 09/11/2006 18:37

A negative thread I know but this nasty lady is in my head at the moment.

Need to know I'm not alone.

The worst thing MIL has done to me is sent DP a v.long email detailing each and every thing that she thinks is wrong with me and told him I am trying to rip their family apart.

Another corker was she told us, when I was 6 weeks pregnant, that our baby was a bad idea.

I could go on...

OP posts:
southeastastra · 09/11/2006 19:29

blimey these posts are so shocking. i have 2 sons but think i'll be a nice mil (hope)

northerner · 09/11/2006 19:42

This is perfect timing for me, my MIL is in my head atm. Lets see, a few of her corkes directed at me are:

I have no class
I'm a 2 faced cow
I'm a fucking bitch

After my miscarriage she told me she knew how I felt as she had aborted 2 babies.

gymmie · 09/11/2006 19:44

I have a son (and a daughter) but am constantly making mental notes of what not to say to DIL (presuming I get one!). Tricky line to tread I think.

Tommy · 09/11/2006 19:46

mine is actually very nice but tries abit too hard and then says things which come out wrong (I hope!)

Last thing was when she was talking about her daughter and how whenever she has a holiday she takes the children to her Mum's house because "Well - she finds it difficult dealing with both of them - like you do"

WTF? I am a SAHM who deals with my children all day, everyday and her daughter works full time and the children go to a childminder!!

Quadrophenia · 09/11/2006 19:47

My MIl once said @you're a much nicer person now you've lost weight'
she is clearly barmy and i pay no attention

USAUKMum · 09/11/2006 20:02

Once my MIL said "Oh you wouldn't have wanted three anyway." After losing DS at 20wks (now have DD & DS).

nutcracker · 09/11/2006 20:04

My ex (hooray) MIL attempted to punch me in the stomach when I was 9 weeks pregnant and had just miscarried a twin.

littlepiggie · 09/11/2006 20:11

My MIL got very drunk while looking after her grandson (our nephew) so FIL had to come back from the pub.

itsme123 · 09/11/2006 20:38

I havent read the whole thread but... if i was picking the worst thing it would be a choice betweeen...
a) holding DD with steaming hot coffee in hand
b) coming to stay (aarrgh) with us when i had pleurisy and not even making a drink for herself never mind picking up the vac, iron etc to help out
c)when i had m/c said "oh well, u can have another"
d) didnt tell us we were meant to be involved in buying a fmaily present which ended up costing us £300, (which we didnt have)2 months before we got married.

i could go on but i wont!

the ones with sons only are definately worse!

estobi1 · 09/11/2006 21:00

Saying "oh yes she is yours" to my dh when she saw her first grand daughter! I love her to bits though really but not especially pleasing hours post delivery.

bellarosa · 09/11/2006 22:12

MIL" Are you sure you havent got another one in there?" four weeks after baby no'2 was born!

plus giving me a lemon for xmas!

frogs · 09/11/2006 22:18

Took then 3-yo dd1 to the hairdresser and had her hair cut in a style I hated without asking me first. Still makes me when I think about it 8 years later. And when I pointed out with admirable restraint that I would prefer her not to do that again she cried in front of dh, so I got it in the neck for being mean to his mummy. Bleargh.

helsy · 09/11/2006 22:21

(Helsy settles down with a nice mug of cocoa)

-refused to see her eldest son's first child (our dd1) because we wouldn't go and pick her up from 45 miles away (her DH has a car). When I finally persuaded DH we should take the baby to see her, 8 weeks later, she had gone out on purpose so we drove out to find her and when we did she wouldn't look at dd1.

-Refused to speak to me when I first met her and turned her back to me and referred to me as "her".

-Told DH I was ugly

-Told me she could beat my mum in a fight - at our wedding (I have no doubt that she could, btw)

-Didn't get dd2 anything when she was born

-Didn't buy our girls anything at all, not even a card, last Christmas.

-Let dd1 down by promising she would attend something at her school and didn't turn up, didn't say, just didn't turn up. That was the worst ever, I think. Dd1 was the only child in her class who's grandparents hadn't turned up and she was in tears.

pepperpots · 09/11/2006 22:24

after ds1 was born (literally ten hours after)
"oh don't worry about his head, it will start to look normal soon"??????????? wtf???

when meeting ds2 for the first time
"oh J at least this one looks like you!"

I aim to be a very nice mother in law (i mean after all by the time i allow mine to hav ewifes they will be 30+)

sansouci · 09/11/2006 22:24

My MIL is a carbon copy of the queen. Her latest, re ds: "oh! he's nothing like his father, is he?"

vickiyumyum · 09/11/2006 22:27

mils' an evil breed ours didn't come to our wedding as hse wanted to saty at our house and not in the hotel my mum and dad had paid for, and i was spolit b who only wanted her son for his money (well actually i was earnign 3 times the amount at the time)i could go on but i won;t. it gets much worse and knowing my luck my sil probably postes here although i don't know for def but a few comments have beenn made in teh apst that i felt that i had been spied on

sweetkitty · 09/11/2006 22:30
  • told me to control DP as we had had 2 children in 10 years wtf?
  • told me some people just cannot have sons
  • when she was told DD2's name said "well as long as IT's healthy
  • visited about 6 times in the past year as she doens't do public transport, then complains endlessly about haveing to smoke outside

could be here ages

maggiesmama · 09/11/2006 22:33

no MIL to speak of. my mother however, is worthy of inclusion here...

  1. sitting in kitchen with her and my little sis. i am size 14-16 ish, my sis is a 10. my mum reaches for another doughnut and says to my sister "i can hardly eat this infront of you, sitting there all slim and pretty"
  1. talking about what its like to be a single mother - "i know what it feels like because i had three children". just to clarify thats three kids, no job, wealthy husband, au pair. yes mum, you know exactly what its like
  1. to me, when i am three days overdue. boiling hot august. been up a ladder painting. "your ankles look fat"
  1. ruined my dd's first birthday and didnt speak to for weeks (had just left my daughters dad. v tough time) because my sister was upset because she thought i didnt pour her a glass of champagne etc.
  1. "youre not that clever. clever people are weird". when i graduated. with a first.

oh... on and on. a catalouge of madness. and i know its a cliche, but i will NEVER do this to my dd. never.

reidie · 09/11/2006 22:42

i get on ok with my MIL although she is constantly telling me how my ds will 'find his own routine' and completely ignoring my wishes when around my ds. despite the fact that he is a brilliant baby and has been in a routine since day 1!

foundintranslation · 09/11/2006 22:44

My MIL is a very different person from me, but lovely.
Now my mother...

foundintranslation · 09/11/2006 22:44

very different type of person. [ffs fit]

Fattymumma · 09/11/2006 22:48

my ex MIl stood and watched him get me up against the wall by the throat whilst i was 6 months pregnant. she then stood up and walked out saying that she "refused to watch this"
knowing he would continue and it woudl be a lot worse than that.

when i called her one day after he had beaten the hell out of me and i had asked her to come and take him to hers she arrived knocked on the door and called him saying " come home sweet heart, she is psychotic"

she then made a statement to the court during the contact case saying that the children were dirty, unfed, badly treated and that i had told her i was raped and so kileld the man!
she then had her sister whom i had only met once also stand in court and say that i had visoted her home once ( i hadn't) and stank so much that she hsad to ask me to have a bath (she did not)

during a contact visit she saw my 6yo ASD DS and told him that it was ok and that she would see him again soon enough as " mummy will be going tp prison and you can come live with daddy and nanny"

i could gp on but its far too depressing. seriously i challenge anyone to find a worse MIL

Cassoulet · 09/11/2006 22:56

Fattymumma, that is one completely mental abnormal mil. Has she been sectioned yet?

Fattymumma · 09/11/2006 22:58

sadly not. she is also jus a very thin line from being the oldest hooker i have ever heard of, trust me there are quite a few ishoos with the whole family, in hindsight it really is no surprise my ex was as fucked up ad he was

Cassoulet · 09/11/2006 23:10

You're out of it anyway

Here's the two worst things my mil has done and they can still get me riled thinking about them:

We fed dd on demand but MIL babysat two mornings a week while I was working and put her on a 4 hr schedule each time. I'd get home knackered to have baby thrust into my arms before I'd even got my coat off and she'd say "I don't know why she's crying, it's only 3 hours since I fed her" (I'm still fuming); that's only annoying, though, but didn't help knowing dd would be starving hungry all morning while I was working.

However, MIL took the biscuit last year when dh took dd over to see her for lunch. MIL picked a fight with him, pushed his buttons until he got angry, then turned to dd saying "what a horrible daddy you've got; isn't your daddy nasty? Isn't daddy horrible to me; what a mean daddy you've got" and more of that ilk, until dd (then 5) ran into the garden crying, and screaming "I hate you daddy". Somehow he got dd home and made friends on the way. BUT THEN, a month or so later, MIL did exactly the same thing again! (At which point I said the old bag wasn't going to see either of them again; somehow or other she's behaving better now, which rather pisses me off!).