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Original poster

Disturbing footage on phone

113 replies

Cococrazy · 28/04/2015 21:05

I have been suspicious of my partner. So I looked through his phone. I found a video taken a few days ago literally running after a girl, getting right behind her and then video her bum walking. I really don't know what to do or think. It's not actually cheating but it's really weird. I feel odd. How should I be reacting? Think I'm a bit shocked

OP posts:
CowPatRoberts · 28/04/2015 22:26

What a sad bastard.

DragonsCanHop · 28/04/2015 22:27

I agree that you may have only just scratched the surface. I wouldn't mention it to him yet and again I woukd forward it to myself or film it off his phone.

What bought the subject up in the first place?

PsychopathOnTheCyclepath · 28/04/2015 22:28

You do know he's committed a criminal offence don't you? Think it comes under the sexual offences act. Be cautious about sending it - could be another trigger for an offence of distribution.

Please find a way to divorce this horrid man. He clearly has little respect for women and his cheating conversation clearly shows that you can't cheat but he has justified that it isn't that bad if he cheats.

Consider reporting him to the police - then then serve him with divorce papers.

Sallystyle · 28/04/2015 22:33

Of course you still have your head in the sand a bit. It is a shock to you. Leaving a long term relationship is never easy even if you have a great reason to do so. It's easy to say LTB but much harder to do it. I personally would be so disgusted and I believe he would be gone ASAP but I realise others need more time or may never leave at all.

I don't see any other long term option for you unless you want to be miserable. He hates women, he probably treats you shitty as well right? if you are really honest with yourself does he really respect you? his views on cheating is enough to show you how little he thinks of women.

For now just take a day at a time and let it sink in. But you are worth so much more than this man.

And that poor woman, how scared she must have felt. He has shown you who is he; believe him.

FujimotosElixir · 28/04/2015 22:35

i would definitely do more digging , big red flags everywhere,red bunting tbh.

Original poster
Cococrazy · 28/04/2015 22:36

She had no idea he was filming her. He just was walking behind her filming

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/04/2015 22:41

does that make it ok ?

Original poster
Cococrazy · 28/04/2015 22:45

No I'm just correcting someone who thought the girl was frightened. Poor girl didn't even have a clue. How the hell would he feel if someone did that to me or our daughter

OP posts:
Only1scoop · 28/04/2015 22:47

Don't be so sure he hasn't filmed you Op Confused

Only1scoop · 28/04/2015 22:48

This 'girl' being filmed ....with a guess how old?

Original poster
Cococrazy · 28/04/2015 22:49

He's never suggested it. Ever. We are quite open sexually. Or maybe that's the point.. I'm not supposed to know. I bloody hope not. Definitely going to do some hardcore snooping

OP posts:
Original poster
Cococrazy · 28/04/2015 22:50

She must have been in her 20s. He has also been questioning alot if I love him recently too. He doesn't think I do!?!?

OP posts:
AnyFucker · 28/04/2015 22:52

what has that to do with it ?

would you accept "you don't love me anyway" as an excuse ?

Original poster
Cococrazy · 28/04/2015 22:53

Ay?

OP posts:
PsychopathOnTheCyclepath · 28/04/2015 22:53

Again - not having knowledge of being filmed makes his film an offence, due to it's intended sexual nature. Again I'll also repeat do not send this video to yourself as it would be a distribution offence.

I know it's unlikely you will report him to the police, but his behaviour is extremely disturbing, as it's sexual predatory behaviour.

It's ip to you whether you choose to defend him or stay with him , but please consider reporting him to protect other women.

Stop minimising his behaviour - however I can imagine you are in shock right now.

Only1scoop · 28/04/2015 22:53

Did his questioning 'if you love him' conversation incorporate him telling you his warped opinions on cheating. Is that how it came about?

Original poster
Cococrazy · 28/04/2015 22:57

No it was seperate. More I think about things the more I think he is going off the rails. Conversations aren't making sense.

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 28/04/2015 23:05

He's setting you up to blame you if you find out about his cheating.
Your fault you see, you drove him away because you don't love him Hmm

Are you SERIOUSLY going to stay with a man who videos a woman for sexual gratification? Really?

PurpleSwift · 28/04/2015 23:10

So it's not cheating. It's still a betrayal and also fucking weird. Keep evidence of it and look at the rest of his pics/videos and confront him.

Original poster
Cococrazy · 28/04/2015 23:11

No it's sinking in. Talking here has really helped to put things into perspective.
I'm just going to ask him to leave tomorrow. The thought of him sexually now just disgusts me

OP posts:
cafesociety · 28/04/2015 23:15

He seems to be setting the stage up for something, preparing the way, trying to feel justified, giving himself reasons....I don't know but something doesn't seem right.

Why do you say you have been suspicious of him? Is he noticeably protecting his phone? What else?

elQuintoConyo · 28/04/2015 23:17

Oh lovey, you must be in such shock Flowers

Twinklestein · 28/04/2015 23:18

Have you looked on his PC to see if he's got anything on there? I'd be very surprised if this was the only footage.

warysara · 29/04/2015 08:52

Is it him that took the video? Not just something that was sent via WhatsApp or iMessage?

Footle · 29/04/2015 09:18

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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