Awful email from my DM

[Toastandstrawberryjam]

I have posted on here a bit before about my marriage and DH moving out. (Can't link on phone - sorry). But basically after 20 years of EA I asked him to leave, divorce is now under way.

From the start my DM was incredibly unsupportive, her first reaction being that it would mess up the seating plan at a family party! Over the last few months she has gone from ignoring me, to telling me I'm overreacting and should have tried to make it work. I told her a few home truths about it all and we settled into a somewhat normal pattern of occasional emails where she just ignored the situation.

She hasn't seen or spoken with my DDs since this all happened.

Anyhow this morning she sends me an email. A long email. It tells me exactly what life on my own will be like. A full detailed awful explanation. The rundown house with no nice furniture. Awful neighbours. DDs going without everything. Never a hope of doing better for myself. Saying goodbye to all the nice things I have.

But not to worry! She has a solution. I need to let DH move back in. We should spend more time together. Have lots more sex. I should stop putting the children first and concentrate on him. It goes on and on and about how great that will be.

She knows that his behaviour was so bad my DDs don't even miss him. In fact they say to me regularly "please don't let daddy come back".

I don't know how to reply to her. I'm utterly broken by this. I never expected support from her, but this is absolutely vile.

It may be right not to send a reply, but there's nothing wrong with composing the perfect riposte and then saying to yourself "That's too good for you - you're not getting it"

Well done toast's DDs!

Still horrified at FrancesDianova's MIL genuinely believing that the right place for a man whose wife is giving birth is at the side of... his mother! There really is no reasoning with someone like that. So sorry for your DH to have such a barkin' family, but so impressed he has managed to grow up into a human being.

In my head I have lots of replies.... Most of them unprintable.

So pleased to hear that you had a good weekend. As you distance yourself, her behaviour is getting more & more erratic.
KOKO

Yes, even the wonderful "F off to the far side of F, & the F off some more" would be lost on her.
Brilliant that you had good w/e, shopping, girl friend, Dds hobby...
Just feel the freedom, of having time to yourself, without XH sulking, stropping, belittling,
He & Mater, can go & rot in their own vat of poison

Ooohhhh got another one from her. From a different email address (!). Now this is longer, lots of "exciting" news (about her) and asks if she can see me sometime to catch up, although after her holiday, so end of June.

Not replying.

Good on you, Toast. Let her stew.

I am mildly worried that your dds see exh every weekend. If this ends up in Court, they will take that as the status quo and preserve it, which means you would never get any weekend time with them. Is there a reason why he doesn't see them every other weekend?

He normally sees them every Saturday. Just so happened that the last two weekends have worked out that he has had both days. He has them this Sat (and night) but I get them back 9am Sunday.

A different email address, eh? Intriguing! That implies a LOT.

1. Awareness of email filters
2. Acknowledgement that you might be using one to avoid her
3. Disregarding this by sending you messages from another account
4. Lack of respect for your choices and treating you like a naughty child

Alternatively she might be very untech-savvy and think that her email 'isn't working', although why she'd think that is anyone's guess.

All in all, I diagnose rattledness

or that you have blocked her normal email address....
don't reply, la la la, off you skip to enjoy your day :o)

Toast, this is the weirdest thread ever! Your mum had birthday do for you, withiut you?! She is completely barking!

Completely and utterly barking.

But they had a lovely time apparently

Haven't replied to her last email. Console myself with thought that normal mother would have picked up the phone to check if I was ok, or even asked to see her grandchildren this half term......if she can't do that then there isn't much point to me making an effort either.

My narc mother has just found out I'm pregnant so I'm getting the nicey-nice phonecalls at the minute so that she can get all the info she needs from me to play worlds best mother/grandmother to anyone in the street who will listen, and then once she's got everything she needs, I'm cut dead once again. I was hoping to hide the pregnancy from her for this exact reason, but too late for that now!