Slopping around after her poor lamb abuser hasn't protected her boy. Jumping down anyone's throat who dares suggest she is damaging her boy by putting the poor lamb first isn't protecting her boy. Meanwhile, the boy is up to his neck in an extremely toxic home which is likely to damage him for life. How dare you jump down the throat of someone who has been the victim of precisely what you are doing to your boy! He is the real poor lamb here: defenceless, powerless, dependant on YOU.
From what op has said, her boy comes last. The poor lamb comes first (or op's addiction to the poor lamb comes first). Except he isn't a poor lamb. He wouldn't punch and try to strangle erm David Beckham, so he can control it. He 'tries' to top himself to avoid facing the consequences of pissing his nan's £7k up the wall. Waste. Of. Space. But where is op? With her boy? No, with the waste of space abuser, thief, emotional and physical incontinent, because she 'didn't want him to wake up alone'.
While some of you are digesting your textbooks and tip-toeing around the other poor lamb, the boy is being destroyed. Out of interest, if op were any other type of addict would we be asking what good it would do to 'pour shame' on her actions? Op's addiction is exactly the same with similarly devastating consequences for her boy.
Girl, get your act together and protect your boy. Or listen to everyone being sweet, caring, kind and understanding while your boy drowns.
(WHEN you have taken steps to protect your boy you will be flooded with all the kindness, sweetness, caring and understanding you need. Once you have protected your boy. Until then, nope, not forthcoming.)