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Original poster

What does behave im home now mean

127 replies

Piperdog2009 · 16/04/2015 14:48

You all probably know that I'm trying to figure out my relationship anyway so once my fiances ex called him when. He retired from a night out with his mates there was giggling then he said behave im home now .... Could this comment be innocent or red flag

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 17/04/2015 14:20

I do not believe that you are thick.
Only a thick person would believe that bollocks about a "honey trap".

Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 14:27

I don't believe any of it deep down I never did but I forced my self you brush it under the carpet and hope it went away ... So would you actually call this cheating? Even though there's no physical as I know of ?? and I will be breaking it off with him ive organised it so we actually never have to see or talk to each other again anything to do with kids will go through grandparents then relayed to him or me

OP posts:
Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 14:30

If he gets into a relationship with her and we arnt together is there anyway I can stop her from having access to our children ?????

OP posts:
Cabrinha · 17/04/2015 14:33

What do you mean "if"? He's already in a relationship with her. That's why you're right to end this.

And no, you can't stop him having her around your kids.

I would think twice about contact only via grandparents. If that's what you need, OK. But do you really need that level of animosity around your children?

Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 14:39

Dunno and no I meant if I left him then he gt back with her ... And I wouldn't want that atmosphere around my kids no but neither would j want arguments + plus he would only brag while he was picking / dropping kids off ect I really wouldn't want anything to do with him end of day I think he's only with me so he can see his kids 24/7 with a cook, cleaner and nanny to go with it as he does nothing - life of luxury

OP posts:
binspin · 17/04/2015 17:06

Does he know it's over?

Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 18:47

No hasn't a clue

OP posts:
binspin · 17/04/2015 19:12

What are you going to do?

fwiw I'd consider being the grown up one in the relationship. No games. Tell him it's over and tell him why.

Communication seems to be lacking hugely.

Inertia · 17/04/2015 20:13

Do you know what, you don't have to be sure that he's cheating on you. You can just choose to end the relationship because it doesn't work for you.

You don't need a reason, you don't need his permission. It's your house, you are not married, you can kick him out. Don't stay with him to keep OW at bay, he's made sure she's in your children's lives already.

Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 20:15

Thank you brilliant ladies ive decided to pull the plug on Monday ( due to the fact our son is in hospital over night over the weekend for his skin so we both need to be there for him ... X

OP posts:
Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 18/04/2015 04:52

He said he wants to take a polygraph test to prove he's telling the truth ???? Can these things be cheated ? He's still kicked out but I will gladly watch him take part in a test to prove his innocence but I won't be getting back with him becuase of other reasons eg selfishness , nasty comments and how ive initially been treat even if he hasn't chested he had still kied and disrespected and mocked me

OP posts:
YazooAddict · 18/04/2015 06:08

If you've decided to split up regardless, then why go through the hassle of a polygraph test? It makes (questionably) good TV on Jeremy Kyle, but surely if you don't trust him, then the results pretty academic anyway.

Just split up with minimal fuss and move on with your life.

43percentburnt · 18/04/2015 08:01

Piper, he's a bad 'un. I would laugh at his silly suggestion of a test and tell him to move on with his life.

His suggestion for the test is to see if he can get you to waiver.

I think you mentioned you own your house. This suggests that you may pay the bills too. Is this correct? I'm thinking he may not let his meal ticket go to easily.

Expect crying, suicide threats, rubbing your face in his free and easy get pissed lifestyle, anger, Mr nice, Mr nasty, insults and jibes. Watch out for the 'bad mum' comment, you know he feels he is losing when the words 'bad mum' fall from his mouth. He may try and make you jealous too.

Create a tick list and see if he manages all of the above.

On a serious note. Do the freedom programme and read 'why does he do that.' There is no point writing him letters, he will use your feelings as a stick to beat you with.

Take care of you and your children. He doesn't deserve any of you.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 18/04/2015 08:28

^^ this.

Ignore his silly games. Move on with your life.

Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 18/04/2015 10:09

Thank you that's very good advice I do pay all the bills all he gives is £230 pm for a bit towards gas and electric and morgatge everything else I pay including baby milk n Nappys .... How else would he afford those amazing nights out every weekend for him and his mates and copious nights over in notts ect

OP posts:
43percentburnt · 18/04/2015 11:08

Yes I thought he may pay very little. 230 is fuck all.

You are his meal ticket. be very aware that when he realised you mean it he will change his tactics with you.

If he is taking home £1200-1500 a month, a 1000 even he is used to spending hundreds on himself. He will find 500/600 rent, bills, food etc taking up most of his wages. Leaving him little to piss up the wall treating his mates.

Keep posting, we will help you see through the antics that are about to begin!

pocketsaviour · 18/04/2015 11:12

Also be prepared for him to say "I'm going to court to get custody, I'll tell everyone you're mental!!"
The correct response to this one is "OK, see you there."

Well done for kicking this moocher to the curb. I hope everything is okay with your son.

Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 18/04/2015 11:32

Just been viewing his phone Bill he has been in contact with her during this week but seems they only talk within his work hours so overall they talk 40 hrs per week .... Now I do have my amo and it now will be tonight when we get home from the hospital not Monday x thank you ladies for the insight and wise advise

OP posts:
Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 18/04/2015 11:44

Byw he has been emotionally abusive would this stand in court

OP posts:
43percentburnt · 18/04/2015 11:47

Good luck. Stay strong when he starts spouting nonsense.

Good point pocket, court threats and craziness! If he is really on form he was accuse you of being crazy, tell you you are a bad mum, mention social services, then flounce off in a strop - leaving you with the children for the night. The children he thinks would be best with him...

Please keep a record of what he says and does. It will help you remember what a tosser he is and will keep your head clear.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 18/04/2015 11:48

He is not going to take you to court. Trust me. But yes emotional and psychological abuse will count.

ThisFenceIsComfy · 18/04/2015 11:48

Yy to writing everything down in a diary

Original poster
Piperdog2009 · 18/04/2015 11:58

Thanks ladies much appriciated xx

OP posts:
Jux · 18/04/2015 19:13

He will tell you that as you're on citalopram it proves you can't look after the children and he'll get custody. Itdoesn't, it won't and he won't.

He may tell you he'll kill himself without you. He won't. But offer to call an ambulance for him.

Stick to your resolve, Piper. And then get yourself on the Freedom Programme.

Ratfinkandbobo · 18/04/2015 19:22

Good luck op, this twat is nowt but a sleazy, abusive cock lodger!

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