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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What does behave im home now mean

127 replies

Piperdog2009 · 16/04/2015 14:48

You all probably know that I'm trying to figure out my relationship anyway so once my fiances ex called him when. He retired from a night out with his mates there was giggling then he said behave im home now .... Could this comment be innocent or red flag

OP posts:
MelonBallersAreStrange · 17/04/2015 11:32

Is there any reason not to kick him out today?

Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 11:50

It's hus birthday in a week?

OP posts:
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 12:08

I just think it would be cruel to dump him before his birthday and Yep I know why should I consider his feeling ect

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 17/04/2015 12:11

You're always going to find an excuse like 'its his birthday' though

One thing I have to say is don't game play and blame someone for your depression.

Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 12:16

It wasn't me who set the honey trap he set a honey trap on her or so he said but I think it was just an excuse coz they were talking dirty as he used his email wich he thought I didn't know the password to and once I found out he never went through with the honey trap

OP posts:
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 12:18

They were saying things like " do you want me to remind you of when k was in your bed" ect getting her to send pics ect but then he was sharing info about out newborn so if it was a honey trap who would have kept with the sex chat not start talking about our newborn and his name

OP posts:
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 12:19

She also took the piss that he has a step som( my eldest) she said " oh your just like me 2 of my own and a stepdaughter or in your case step son haha I hate that your so happy with her haha only joking it's great that you are " x

OP posts:
MelonBallersAreStrange · 17/04/2015 12:23

It's his birthday in a week. I'm sorry Piper but I laughed out loud at that. Do you realise how ridiculous an excuse it is?

My boyfriend has been openly cheating on me for months and mocks me when I object, I have had enough but I can't kick him out of my house because it is his birthday next week.

I wonder if he fucked the other woman on your birthday. I wonder what birthday treat she has lined up for him for his special day.

If an imminent birthday gets people special treatment then surely his OW will give him a bed until he gets his own place.

MelonBallersAreStrange · 17/04/2015 12:31

Eh?

Your fiancé told you he was so worried about his other girlfriend cheating on him that he planned to test her faithfulness to him with a honey trap.

Just to be absolutely clear: that was his cover story for when you caught him sending dirty emails to her and asking her to send him dirty pictures, and occasionally mentioning his newborn child in all of this?

"I was only testing my other girlfriend's faithfulness to me" was his EXCUSE?

Earlier you asked why I said your boundaries are fucked. Can you not see?

GraysAnalogy · 17/04/2015 12:32

Why would a grown man try and 'honey trap' his ex.

Piper this is ridiculous and you know it. It needs to stop. Don't wast another second on this loser.

Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 12:42

Not his girk friend he said ex and jd honey trapped her as revenge coz she tried to brake is up while I was carrying our baby and he said she could have triggered early labour so it was revenge for that big revenge fit me

OP posts:
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 12:44

Sorry my writing crap pushing a pram - multitasking

OP posts:
GraysAnalogy · 17/04/2015 12:49

I'm sorry but this is the most childish relationship I've ever heard. So he honey trapped her as revenge Confused how old are you both, 13?

Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 12:51

He's just rang and announced he's booked a fam holiday for his bday at Scarborough for kids ... What a waste of money

OP posts:
Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 12:52

I didn't honey trap he did all ive done is believe him

OP posts:
MelonBallersAreStrange · 17/04/2015 12:52

Nope. Still makes no sense.

What do you get out of this relationship, other than angst?

Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 12:54

Nothing really becuase I know she will back in contact and I know I will walk so in my mind we are already over ... If you get what I mean ... Ive prepared myself already grieved

OP posts:
DownWithThisTypeOfThing · 17/04/2015 12:54

GraysAnalogy
I'm sorry but this is the most childish relationship I've ever heard.

Agree. It's just ridiculous.

Honey traps, revenge, leaving letters for the other one to find, blocking contacts - all of it is the two of you playing roles. Do you both have other things in your lives or is this "relationship" your sole focus?

MelonBallersAreStrange · 17/04/2015 12:55

None of it makes any sense because it is all bullshit.

Look, if you want more of this shit, let him stay. Otherwise kick him out.

I still don't understand why you don't.

Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 13:03

I don't understand why I haven't either tbh I worry that I'm over reacting and that I am making a mountain out of a mole hill or if it's all in my head ys know clarity???

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 17/04/2015 13:26

I still have no idea what the honeytrap was for? Who was testing who? I don't get it, am I supposed to?

OP make you mind up and stick to it...I think.

Piperdog2009 · 17/04/2015 13:43

I dong think it was a honey trap I think they were doing what they've bern doing all along I think he just quickly made the lie up about it being a honey trap and what honey trap goes on for 3 months duration ?

OP posts:
BuzzardBird · 17/04/2015 13:53

But why would he want to honeytrap his ex? Surely his ex's sex life has nothing to do with him? I don't understand why you didn't chuck him out solely for that reason, or the fact that he leaves you to look after the kids whilst he wanks himself stupid to porn, or that he doesn't give a shit how you feel about anything, or that he is completely disrepectful to you?

MelonBallersAreStrange · 17/04/2015 13:57

I worry that I'm over reacting and that I am making a mountain out of a mole hill

You are doing the opposite.

You are making a molehill out of a mountain.

You don't have clarity because he is constantly spouting shit to muddy the waters.

Kick him and his shit fountain out of the pond and in a few weeks time you will have lovely clear waters.

You'll see how much of his shit you were swallowing and swimming in (you might feel a bit sick about it when you look back).

BuzzardBird · 17/04/2015 14:08

Lovely mental picture there Melon Grin