Just found ladies pants in my laundry basket

[brokenhearted]

Just took washing out of machine and there is a pair of ladies plain black M&S cotton pants! At the moment I am stunned, shocked and feel numb. I am trying hard not to cry but I don't know what is going on. I took the DC away on fri night and DH was also out and stayed in london with a couple of work colleagues. Am I right in thinking 2 + 2 = 4? What would you think, help, I am going crazy and don't know how to tackle this.

But an 11 year-old could definitely have had her Mums pants in her overnight bag by accident - left in the bag by the mother after a holiday, mixed up with clean washing hurridly packed, etc etc.

And how thorough was DD's tidying? Have any other guests stayed over the last few months and used your dd's room? We find things months later, after guests have been!

agree with blu

I have a pair of boxies in dh's drawer that were well smaller than his

turned out they were son in laws when he came to stay one xmas and put away after being laundered by mistake

I think the pants a a red herring, and will probably have an innocent explanation - but beyond that I agree with FairyFly.

agree with fairyfly too

The pants in question are not brand spanking new I dont think and asking my DD about them might not even register with her. She is 11 and quite dreamy. She often is told to pick up bits of clothing from her bedroom floor. She has black tights and therefore could have picked up the pants and not noticed they were pants IYSWIM. This playing detective doesnt seem to be getting me anywhere. I apologise if any of you are bored by my going on and on.

Okay - so he's definitely stayed in the hotel so if they are some other woman's knickers he must have brought them home somehow.

Now if I had a fling with a man, I would notice if I couldn't find my knickers the next morning - in fact, this happened to me once and it was bluddi obvious that they were missing! Couldn't find them anywhere despite a very good look so I came to the conclusion that the b*stard had hidden them to keep as some kind of trophy.

Point is that he is unlikely to have pocketed another woman's pair of knickers by accident because it would have been obvious that they were missing in the morning. And if he is clever, he is hardly going to bring evidence of his dodgy dealings back to the marital home deliberately...

Funny, there have been a pair of women's knickers, too small to be mine, kicking around our house for ages. I have no idea where they're from or whose they are.

But I don't think DH is having an affair!

The fact you are ready to think this worries me, whether the root cause is your insecurity/paranoia/whatever or him mucking about is impossible to tell from here, but either way, it's worrisome.

I brought some size 24 pants to throw at some crappy Robbie Williams stars in their eyes show.

For some reason i couldn't find them and i had by mistake folded them up in my sons p.e. bag.

The poor little boy mas mortified when they fell out in his cloak room and everyone laughed.

I still have no idea how i managed to do that.

"If he starts saying you are paranoid you are probably right if you thinking he is up to no good."

erm

or you might be paranoid "

I am NOT saying he is, but men who have been unfaithful are renouned for blaming the accusations on the wife's emotional state.

I have some plain black pants and they have accidentally been put away in DS's drawer (he has some plain black pants also!). And I have had pairs of DD's white pants appear in my drawer - and her backside is considerably smaller than mine. She is 2. The picture of sleeping beauty should have been a give away, mind you.

But it does happen.

Agree though that you are obviously not confident in your relationship. So you need to give this some thought. How has DH been with you since the weekend?

We too have wandering pants - muddled up in the wrong drawer.

If the pants were amongst stuff from dd's room, they must have come from there.

If it was an affair, they would have been muddled in with your DH's stuff.

He would hardly have put them into the wash on their own in amongst your dd's stuff, would he?

If they were in amongst his dirty clothes I would be saying 'turn out his pockest, look at his receipts, get hold of his phone, ask him'.

Thanks Mumpbump, I guess you are right, sometimes I just cant see the wood for the trees. And yes I have been feeling very unloved and neglected these last few months since he has started medication and sex has not happened (no I did not talk to him about it) and therefore contemplated him having sex elsewhere, until he told me his 'problem' on sunday (not being able to), so these pants just seemed like the icing on the cake. Am I making sense??? Yes I have major insecurities about our marriage and yes, I do find him controlling, manipulative etc and yes, he does call me paranoid, mad, and many other things too but call me a fool, I still know we can make it work and I have 2 adorable kids also. So, what I am saying is, I may have overeacted on this pants finding (or not).

I have to say I find it unlikely that someone would chuck a flingette's pants into the wash.

I did once live with a bloke who left me his pants in the washing when he left, which I found a little thoughtless. (I sent them on to his office.)

was that with a haddock?

Bacon.

It was a heat wave.

Brokenhearted, I so hope you are wrong about your dh
Black pants, folded and grabbed hastily from an airing cupboard, can easily be picked up by entirely the wrong person.
I do really wonder if your dd's friend did just this at home.
I often have to rehome "neutral" undies such as beige socks, plain black pants in our house as they do get put into the wrong drawers.

I tell you what, if he has actually put his fling's knickers in the wash, then he will win the award for the Most Stupid Bloke Ever.

Do you reckon they are big enough to fit him (for cross dressing purposes)?

Can't you just call him and ask?

If he was having an affair I can guarantee you that his mistress would have been wearing something a bit sexier than a pair of knickers from a pack of 5 . They are without a doubt your dd's friends mums knickers.

I know how frustrating it can be when your dp has no interest - dh hardly came near me when I was pregnant because he was scared of hurting the baby and he isn't up for much at the moment because he is stressed at work. It does feel very personal, I know, but there is more than one way to skin a cat... I would drag him along to Anne Summers or somewhere similar, get a few toys and then point out that, in this age of equality, you have conjugal rights too!

What happened, brokenhearted - are you OK?

School fete last year we bought a boardgame which had additional content of 1) few pieces of a Monster's Inc puzzle, and 2) some black thongs with pink lacey bits on them. Who knows what I would have thought if the children had opened the game first and just flung the knickers somewhere haphazard!

I had it out with DH who roared with laughter at the very idea. What would he be doing with a large size 18, he is more selective etc, why would a fling be wearing such things, surely it would be a 'tong' or whatever those things are called, ha ha, he cant even say it, I do him a dishonour in thinking what I thought etc etc. We had the heartiest laugh together in years. I can honestly look at the situation and see my silliness. Yes they definately came from the washing of my DDs bedroom, I checked the utility room and there was no other washing there. O what a fool I am but oh how relieved I am. Thanks everyone who pointed out the obvious and made me think twice. I can now look back with laughter. Told him about the comments made here about cross dressing and that also gave rise to a lot of fun and laughter, but not as much as when I pointed out he had actually touched (at this point) my friend's pants!! He shuddered at the thought!!!!ROFL

Very pleased for you that it was all harmless!

ahhh glad it all turned out well!!!

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