DRY 7!!!

[mollyonthemove]

The new thread for the alcohol free and the wanna be free . come and join us

Well done molly

Excessive weekend, trying again today...

Hi sigma. Today is the start of a new week (and the rest of our lives), so let's try to make it good.

I drank on Saturday, after thinking I was doing so well. No idea whatever made me think it was a good idea. Anyway, it's a shiny new week, the sun is shining, and I am planning on having a lovely walk with DS2 in his buggy once he has had his lunch after nursery. He is a strapping 3yo, so it's definitely a workout pushing him up the hill. I've got biceps like Popeye! Just wish I could shift the massive spare tyre round my middle - currently 14st and need to be about 11st. Aarrgh!

Anyone wanting to lose weight may I suggest The Harcombe Diet or another low carb high fat version? It really does work. I have lost many many stone in the last year by following it. Even with all the wine I drank! Now of couse I am doing even better :-) Happy to give more detail of my journey to better health and weight loss by pm. Seriously low carb really does work.

Hurrah now have this thread on my phone so I can see what is happening in here with you lovely lot when I am out :-)

sigma, I am you. My life is awful because of drink. Every day I dream of sleep.

Sigma, Glittery , do you believe that your life would be better without the drink? Do you trust others here when we say that sobriety is better than drinking, that sobriety brings all the things that drink promises (but fails to deliver), that sleep improves many times over when sober? I know it's so tough to make the decision to stop and follow it through I've been there. I once stood outside an AA meeting with my feet rooted to the ground unable to go in so I do understand. Would you consider going to your GP? How about considering Antabuse (disulfiram if you fancy googling it)? It takes the choice out of your hands which for me stops that internal fight "I will, I won't" ad nauseum until I give in to shut it up.

I'm definitely no paragon of virtue, it's only a month since my relapse but even with relapses my life is infinitely better since I began working at not drinking and it does get easier.

tsonlyme Beautifully put and I completely agree :)

Hi, wondering if I can join you ladies?
I've had issues with alcohol since mid teens. My mum is dependent on alcohol but functioning so in deep denial. Her dad became an alcoholic on retiring and came from a mining community where alcohol played a big part.
I decided to do a year booze free after getting really drunk on the 1st january this year and regretting it big time. We had a family get together at the weekend and I ended up drinking and really going for it. End of the night a blur and was sick in bed which I have no memory of.
I'm back on the wagon again and my goal now is Christmas.
I love, love, love not drinking and annoyed at myself for caving and not making my year.
Had been doing a blog but have abandoned as didn't manage my year.
Yesterday with a killer hangover was so hard and still been feeling fragile today.
Really don't want to be here again.

Welcome targaryen :) Well done on 6 months and would love to see you blog - don't abandon! There is no shame in a lapse and you're back on the wagon so lesson learned We'll be here as Xmas rolls round and I'm sure some of the other folk will be along shortly.

Thanks Lucy, maybe I should get back to my blog and blog about what it was that made me have a drink and how it's made me feel.
I'm useless at link things but my blog is at 1mum3kids0booze.wordpress.com

Thanks targaryen That sounds like a really good idea - so you and others can learn from it :)

Do you mind if I share a link to your blog on my blog tomorrow?

I would love you to do that Lucy and it will motivate me to start writing in it again. I've been feeling like I need to stop as I didn't reach my goal but think it's more normal to have slip ups and learn from it. I really need to look at why I felt such an urge to have a drink yet had managed for months without.

OK no probs. Lots of reasons why we lapse and we tend to find a build up of weeks of small changes running up to the moment when we slip - changes in our thinking, which impact how we are feeling which drives our behaviour. It doesn't undo all the time that you had already achieved as that is all valuable experience :)

Hi Targaryen

I used to feel that a lapse was a massive failure and that I was right back to the drawing board but I don't feel that way anymore. It doesn't undo my previous work on my addiction and it doesn't wipe out the sober time that I accrue. Any time I stay sober is a success and I do have longish periods of sober time behind me, I think eight months is probably my record. That's eight months when I wasn't hammering my liver and wrecking my relationships. That's got to be a good thing, right?!

I have great admiration for people with years of sobriety, maybe that will be me eventually but I don't want to put that kind of pressure on myself so for now I will celebrate each day, week or month. With a cup of tea

morning all
Welcome targaryan I am also coming to view my lapses as part of the process rather than then end/failure etc... My longest spell was around 5 1/2 months last year. currently I'm on day 18.....maybe one day Ill be able to state my sober time in years rather than months/weeks/days but for now I'm taking it one day at a time.
And I agree withtsonly all sober time that you build up is a good thing. Just because you lapse it doesn't obliterate the good you have done by the sober time that you have accrued.

I'm still here and doing OK.
So far this time round I'm not struggling as much with the voices of temptation (so far!) I am still working a lot on making changes to my life to look after myself better. I'm trying to build in more time to my day for little ways to be nice to myself! I am also working hard on accepting my limitations and saying no more without feeling guilty (well not too guilty!!)
I've also been spending a lot of time on my garden - I love gardening and haven't really got round to it much for years . One of my borders is looking lovely just now and it so cheering to sit out and admire it! Feels like a small accomplishment in doing something that makes me happy!

right...off to sort the dc and get the day started.
Have a good AF day all

tsonlyme - yes, I do, on an intellectual level I know I am killing myself and failing DD. I also know that it undermines the anti-depressants I take.

So why don't I just stop? Because I like feeling drunk. And that over-rides what I know, and of course the long term can seem a long way away... I go through all the bargaining with myself.

Today is another day. I did better yesterday than I have for a while, though did still drink.

I am trying to build up alternatives... watched Casablanca last night with DD cuddled up (even though she was bored!)

Hello to all new people :)

I have finally come to see lapses as learning experiences - not a chance to heap (yet more) self loathing and shame on myself :( I have more than enough stuff in my past to make me do that, without adding to it!

If we saw a child making a mistake in this way, we would not heap shame and unpleasant labels on them, would we? So why do we do it to ourselves?

I think we need to be really kind to ourselves and nurture our sobriety like we would a toddler learning to do something new - lots of positive reinforcement and encouragement for success :) ie lots of sober treats and lots of "me" time. And sleep :) Lots and lots of lovely sleep, undisturbed by alcohol effects :)

Hello everyone
I've come over here from the Dry June thread. I'm on day 16 of no alcohol. I was drinking at least a bottle of wine a night, sometimes more at the weekends. I've known for ages that I don't drink in the same way as other people.

My plan was to be AF until the end of term, but I'm increasingly thinking that I should try and stop completely. I don't think I can moderate. I feel really good at the moment but not kidding myself this will continue. So here I am.

One thing I am worried about is how much damage I may have done to myself. I'm trying to really look after myself now, from eating well to looking after my skin - the number of times I've fallen into bed with a full face of make up. Any advice on supplements/ other things I could be taking?

HI, dropping in and out welcome everyone new. :) Molly I am buying Bella tomorrow, i am IN AWE at your courage.

polly vitamin Bs apparently..... Lucy knows alot about it, but you need vit bs and thiamine (is that a B vit?) Milk thistle is great is not contra indicated with other meds you might be on.

Hugs everyone. :)

Afternoon ladies and welcome polly :) Corn is spot on - b vitamin complex (which includes thiamine = vit B1). I take a high strength vit c (1g) as my immune system was shot from drinking, a good quality multi-vit, vit b complex and omega 3,6&9 which are building blocks for neurotransmitters like serotonin (which help tackle depressive effects).

Molly bought Bella yesterday and excitedly showed it to DH; 'Look! That's my friend!! '. :)

Good article I thought.It did not feel sensationalised or anything like that, just reflective. How do you feel? Lovely photos of you and your family!! It is funny to see a MNetter in real life.... now I can visualise you as the gorgeous blonde you are! When I read it I just thought to myself that if you could be so brave and so open, maybe I should stop thinking of drinking and not drinking as my own dark little secret. Your courage is inspiring.

Thank you!! I thought the title was awful but it is a woman's magazine . apart from that I was quite pleased with it. It gives a little glimpse into the absolute horror that those years were. I just hope that maybe it may make someone think it can be done. I never ever thought I could stop drinking - it is so worth it though.

Thanks - am now on the b vits and milk thistle.

Polly I've found the difference in my skin over the last 5+ weeks has been amazing. So I guess you're already doing the best thing for your skin...not drinking!

Molly I tried to look at Bella online but all I got was the headline and "Read more in this week's Bella!" The headline was quite brutal, wasn't it?! Can I echo other comments. It really is very brave of you.

Yesterday I went public (ie to my friends not the whole world!) with an Instagram shot of our recycling. It's now actually full with empty bottles of Perrier and San Pellegrino as opposed to full to bursting of empty wine bottles with the odd water bottle on top to try and hide it.

The comments I received made me realise I probably hadn't hidden my drink problem quite as well as I thought I had. I felt another wave of shame but it was tempered somewhat with the general optimism I feel having done over a month now. Even 6 weeks ago that seemed an insurmountable obstacle. I really did seem to flick a switch in one night. Now I've just got to keep that switch switched!