Kissed my married colleague

[neverdrinkingagain]

So I will probably get a lot of stick for this. Impromptu night out with work a few weekends ago. Ended up just myself and married colleague. I'm single. Known this guy for years and never fancied him but always thought he was a nice looking bloke. Got very drunk. He kept saying to go back to mine. We eventually did. I'm not naive I really do/did look at him as a friend who is happily married and totally off limits. We carried on drinking at mine, again it never crossed my mind anything other than drinking would happen. I have lots of male friends and truly believe in platonic friendships. Next thing I know, and all I can remember is us kissing!! I was incredibly drunk, which ive been before with other male friends and certainly nothing ever like this happened!! I can remember, I think, him saying about going upstairs? Which I never did! I remember the kissing was very passionate. I know I wouldn't have instigated it! I wouldn't do this with a married man! I feel really bad as it goes against everything I believe! I haven't heard from him since but am kinda wondering how to play it when I see him next at work. I am racked with guilt as certainly wouldn't wish it to happen again and want to think his wife will never find out and that it was just s stupid mistake on both our parts? Should I say something or just let it go? He is a nice bloke, he really is, we were both drunk!

I know this sounds silly but possibility you have to stop thinking of him as your friend. A friend would not have put you in this position.

Ok you kisses a married man not great but it could have been a lot worse! Just forget about it and him. He hasn't tried to contact you since so that's a good sign 1) he's not interested in you / it going further or a repeat 2) that he's not really that great a friend

Just carry on as normal and when you see him act like nothing's happened but distance yourself a bit.

Thanks daydream what you say is right

You're defending him a lot, OP. You may 'stand by' what you said about him being a nice/good man, but you're wrong.

A nice guy who is married doesn't go back to a single female colleague's house when they've both been drinking, let alone the other stuff that happened.

Whilst you keep defending him, you're on a track that leads straight back to this happening again (which I suspect a part of you wants).

OP how old are you?

It won't happen again. I feel mortified as it is ..... God knows what he is feeling? Possibly the same? As a previous post said this isn't turning into anything else as neither of us have contacted each other, I'm sure due to remorse.

Wild bill I'm 36 old enough to know better

You were drunk as hell, something you didn't intend happened, and now you regret it. You know what the most important part of that sentence it? You. Regret. It.

I would act like you just don't remember - at all - what happened. Brazen it out. And please, please, PLEASE don't put yourself in the way of this guy again when alcohol is in the same room! (One of my friends 'fell into' an affair this way: it started with a kiss, then sex, and it ended up destroyed the guy's wife, the guy, and her. Basically, it was a huge mess of unnecessary pain which ended well for absolutely no-one. Big mistake. You deserve better).

Look we have all done stupid things we regret in the heat of the moment or after a few. You just think, omg, head down, don't make a big deal out of it, dont draw attention to it, don't do it again.

You seem to be agonising over it. Its ok to admit to yourself that you enjoyed it , you're worried you are developing feelings for him, you'd like to do it again?

I'd just pretend nothing at all happened

I remember at the time enjoying it tho I also remember thinking what the fuck am I doing???? So no I really wouldn't wish it to happen again as the repercussions are too severe and I don't want to be caught up with a married man.

FIN

OP, are you using this thread as an opportunity to keep talking about this bloke and how naughty you have been ?

oh fgs get over it and move on

the self flagellation is starting to look a bit contrived, tbh

Wildbill and anyfucker, I was about to say exactly what you two have already.

OP keeps going on and on about it, likely in order to keep the memory of that drunken night alive. So I really don't think she's as "mortified" as she keeps saying she is. This shows what type of character she is. I sympathised with her to some degree originally as I saw that he took advantage, but there have been so many posts since then all telling OP to forget it and move on and giving various bits of advice. Yet she reopens the conversation, covering the same ground over and over, and repeating how mortified she is. If you were genuinely ashamed, you wouldn't mention it over and over again. I am now certain OP is secretly thrilled that this guy showed an interest in her, drunken or no, and is not actually sorry for what happened.

OP, your posts reveal far more about you as a person than the incident itself. I don't have an ounce of sympathy for you now.

I suspect OP was the one who suggested going upstairs which is why she's so worried about being seen as 'easy' ?? funny how she remembers some bits of conversation that night but not others. Anyway OP your lifestyle suggests low self esteem, FWB excessive drinking and jumping married colleagues suggest you don't think you deserve much. Your definition of 'friend' seems wildly off too. Maybe work on all that.

Maybe op was hoping for confirmation that this classy chap was secretly really into her instead of just regarding her as some drunken fumble piece.