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Left on own for 2 hours and he is angry with me

95 replies

gubbygubby · 01/04/2015 10:01

A week last last Saturday I had arranged to meet a male friend at ten pm. As he is fairly unreliable I asked him to text if he would be late and was told to "stop whinging"
I was with friends earlier and left them to meet him and when he did not show up I rang and heard nothing.
Eventually he text and said 11 pm sorry
11.30 came and I ordered a taxi and when I was early gone he rang so I got the taxi to take me back.
He was drunk and dismissive of me waiting on my own.
I then bought drinks and we went downstairs to another bar . He went to the loo after 10 mins and did not return.
The doorman told me he got in a taxi.
I was furious and he would not return my calls so I sent angry text telling him he was a selfish entitled wanker and "fuck you"
Also that I had never been treated like that by anyone before.
I was expecting an apology the next day but he did not ring me . He ignored my messages for days and I eventuakky rang using a different number and he answered
He shouted at me for calling him a wanker and telling him to fuck off and then he hung up on me.

I don't think I've done anything wrong and can't believe he is treating me like this.
He has now cut all contact and im a bit gutted .

He has form for being selfish and cutting out people who disagree with him.
He is 66 , stills takes cocaine, stays up on all night benders sometimes . We do get on however as he is a good laugh .
He is unreliable though and often doesn't return texts. If I don't answer his immediately ,he texts again wanting to know why I haven't answered.

OP posts:
BrianButterfield · 01/04/2015 10:04

He's a twat. He won't apologise as he's an entitled man child who thinks he's done nothing wrong and you are just around for his amusement. He doesn't see you as a person and he isn't your friend.

fusspot66 · 01/04/2015 10:04

Ignore him.
He's a waste of space.

Missqwerty · 01/04/2015 10:05

He's a nobhead! Waste no time stressing over it

RegTheMonkey1 · 01/04/2015 10:06

I would take his example and cut him out of your life the way he cuts out others. That's no way to be treated by anyone, let alone a 'friend', and you shouldn't have been running around after him all night until he deigned to meet up. He's a git.

fusspot66 · 01/04/2015 10:06

I resisted saying he was a twat but Brian Butterfield has it spot on.

glittertits · 01/04/2015 10:08

There is no reason why this man should remain a friend.

GoatsDoRoam · 01/04/2015 10:09

Why on earth are you spending any of your time and energy on him at all?

There are better people around. I'm sure they'd be happy to meet you for drinks, and would turn up on time, or apologise if they were late.

This man is no good.

LadyBlaBlah · 01/04/2015 10:09

You sound like you actusly still want to be friends with this guy?

You really need to ask yourself why you put up with this stuff?
I wouldn't have met him after the first texts about 10pm, never mind texting him to speak about his shitty behaviour.

Boundaries. You need some. It's not mean to tell a twat that you don't want them in your life. It's healthy.

StrawberryMojito · 01/04/2015 10:10

Your first mistake was getting the taxi to take you back after he had kept you waiting for that long. He sounds like a selfish prick and at that age is not likely to change. Don't go chasing an apology from him.

NickiFury · 01/04/2015 10:14

Is this more than a friend? Do you feelings for him? Because the situation you describe sounds more like thar, than just friendship.

I think your attempts to make him speak to you eg using a number he wouldn't recognise make you sound a bit obsessive about him, not to mention rushing back to see him once he deigns to turn up to meet you an hour and a half late.

He sounds like a real tool to be honest.

gubbygubby · 01/04/2015 10:18

I know it was stupid and I dhoukd not have gone back. I just wanted to enjoy a night out!

OP posts:
mamaslatts · 01/04/2015 10:19

Why are you bothering with this drug addled pensioner?? He is rude, dismissive and keeps you waiting around. Is he a famous rock star? Wondering what possible appeal he has..

OnlyLovers · 01/04/2015 10:23

Well, he's a twat and no friend at all. He probably loved that you left and then rushed back to meet him, and went as far as using a different number to make him answer your call. He sounds very manipulative and needy.

Get rid.

However, I don't see how it's relevant that 'He is 66 , stills takes cocaine, stays up on all night benders sometimes'. It's his life.

AttilaTheMeerkat · 01/04/2015 10:23

He cutting you off has actually done you a huge favour. Again he has form anyway for doing this.

I have to look at your behaviour in all this though, what needs of yours has this 66 year old cocaine addict ever met here?.

I think you need to ask yourself why you have anything at all to do with this person at all. Do you have a need to constantly people please or be seen as a rescuer or saviour?. He is certainly not your friend and just sees and uses you for his own amusement.

If you want to enjoy your nights out it will never be with this person because he is too damn flaky. The poster who wrote that you need boundaries is right.

DrMorbius · 01/04/2015 10:26

I think you seriously need to take along look at your yourself and the acceptable levels of behavior your will accept.

You say he is a good laugh, I doubt the entire cast of Monty Python is funny enough to put with: -
Turns up 90 minutes late, does not apologies

He was drunk and dismissive of me waiting on my own.
You had to buy the drinks.
He then f**Ks off after 10 mins and did not return.
Does not return your texts.

zzzzz · 01/04/2015 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gubbygubby · 01/04/2015 10:32

I've been with my husband for 21 years and I've put up with several episodes of him chasing other women, online, facebook ect. He did it 4 years ago and I found out in December he was at it again. I'm stuck because if my 4 Dcs so ive started going out and having fun, the malefriend is someone who I me last year . My husband has been out with him too. When on form he is good fun. I know he is a twat though. I feel peeved that he has dropped me when he's in the wrong that's all.
I just wanted a bit of excitement if I'm being honest and enjoyed going out with him and his friends sometimes . He is very egotistical though and talks about himself constantly and he likes taking me out to make him look good I think.

OP posts:
FluffyTheEvilOne · 01/04/2015 10:34

He's 66??? I thought you were going to say he was about 18.

Waste no more time on this pathetic little pseudo-man. He has no respect for you, and deserves no space in your life or in your head. Much as I understand that you want, and fully deserve, an apology from him, you will not get one because he will never be able to understand what he did wrong.

Reserve your time, effort and thoughts for those who deserve to be a part of your life.

NickiFury · 01/04/2015 10:34

He likes taking you out because you make him look good? How does your DH feel about that?

GoatsDoRoam · 01/04/2015 10:35

Ah. Twattish friends are the least of your problems.

Why do you think that having children means you are "stuck" in a bad marriage?

LIZS · 01/04/2015 10:36

Do you have any good reason to tolerate such selfish and childish behaviour ?

NickiFury · 01/04/2015 10:43

I missed that about your DH, sorry.

Sounds like a thoroughly messed up situation all round really. You've already got one nasty man in your life, you don't need another one.

ConfusedAuthor · 01/04/2015 10:45

So you have a husband who treats you badly and a male friend who treats you badly.

You need to get away from both of them and re-evaluate what a friendship actually is and what kind of people you want in your life.

gubbygubby · 01/04/2015 10:57

Well, I enjoyed the escapism of going out and forgetting about home for a bit. I know that's not good.
Being married to someone who chases other women in not nice do for the time being im just trying to have a life . Can't leave my husband for now so feel stuck . Very frustrating. It's not like me to take behaviour like this. I suppose I feel rejected

OP posts:
Iflyaway · 01/04/2015 11:04

30 years ago I knew some people who were into cocaine.

They changed from being nice caring people into self-centred cold-hearted bastards.

Why are you allowing others to treat you like this?

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