Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

BF buying used "panties" online

158 replies

Liger123 · 27/03/2015 13:23

Sorry for the icky subject matter, but I can't tell anyone this in RL and just need to share it with someone.

I've been seeing a guy for just over a month and it's been going quite well so far. Although some may think that it's a bit soon to call him my BF, he is the one who suggested we date exclusively and who uses those titles.

Anyway, for some reason I've started to go off him a bit. He seems "too sweet to be wholesome" iyswim. Shamefully, I had a right old google. This may be seen as an invasion of privacy, but what I came across was posted publicly by him and I don't regret that I've caught him out in a way.

So he comes up on Pinterest (full name, photo, the works) and has pinned three pairs of "worn panties" to buy, in the last week.

Yes, he's a grown man and can spend his money on whatever he likes, but that's not really the point. Although we've been dating a relatively short time, we've grown close and spent a lot of time together, so I feel a bit betrayed that he's been buying/ at least looking at these things whilst with me. OTOH, I feel I've had a lucky escape.

How should I play this though? I have no desire to continue our relationship but I'm the kind of person where if I don't say how I feel, it will eat away at me. I fully know that I don't come across very well in this situation either though...

Thank you for reading and any advice on what I should say/do would be v much appreciated.

OP posts:
Fingeronthebutton · 27/03/2015 16:00

SensationalGirl. You have obviously never worked in any medical field where women are concerned. Otherwise you wouldn't have made that statement.

Cherryapple1 · 27/03/2015 16:32

Please do not berate yourself for googling him. He sounds foul. How you found out is not bad, nor does it in any way negate what he is up to. I agree - run for the hills.

DrMorbius · 27/03/2015 17:12

SensationGirl - how many fanjo's have you had your nose near?

BuzzardBird · 27/03/2015 17:17

He's been buying smelly kecks and you are worried that he thinks you have stalked him? Really?

Lovingfreedom · 27/03/2015 18:52

Just tell him it's not working out and FFS think twice about going from zero to bf in a month!

ScrambledEggAndToast · 27/03/2015 19:09

Shock Get rid ASAP Shock What if they had skid marks on them??!! lowers tone even further I had no idea this was even a "thing" on the internet.

cozietoesie · 27/03/2015 19:26

Most everything is a 'thing' on the internet, Scrambled. If you have a 'niche interest' then someone will be selling relevant stuff if there's money in it. Sad

wonderingsoul · 27/03/2015 19:35

whats wrong with becoming an item within a month?

secondly.. justy walk away if its not your thing no need to bring it up.

Jacana · 27/03/2015 19:58

im the kind of person where,if I don't say how I feel, it will eat away at me

^this, If confronting him with your findings is the brain bleach you need.

. Otherwise, just walk away.

Whatever you do, it's got to be right for you. Not him. You.

OrinocoTheWomble · 27/03/2015 20:26

WOW. I would dump him immediately. Surely there is no future.
Have you checked you are still in possession of all your knickers?

BIWI · 27/03/2015 20:30

You've only been seeing him a month! You don't have to explain to him why you're dumping him.

But you could just tell him that you found him out online. No need to explain exactly how, just the fact that you did.

But dump him you must.

LosingTheWillToSkate · 28/03/2015 07:58

Whilst I don't really see someone buying used undercrackers (presumably to wank with) as the same sort of heinous crime as everyone else seems to, if you don't like it then just walk away. It's been a month, you have no ties, there's no need for any drama, just stop seeing him.

Tell him why or don't, I don't think it matters after a month.

gemdrop84 · 28/03/2015 08:03

I'd say goodbye! Have to say though one of dh's friends used to sell these things plus worn stockings when he was broke once upon a time. He wore them then sold them, there's quite a big market apparently!!

Booboostoo · 28/03/2015 09:03

Why in god's name would you ever dump someone because he finds used panties arousing? He is not hurting anyone, he is not an abuser, or a rapist, and he's not even involving you in this. If you don't like him overall, break up with him, but if he is otherwise lovely, you'd be bonkers to break up with him over this.

NewLeaflet · 28/03/2015 11:19

Why in god's name would you ever dump someone because he finds used panties arousing?

Because you wouldn't want to find other people's used underwear in your shared living space?

Booboostoo · 28/03/2015 11:22

Big deal, he can keep them in a special drawer. Are you seriously saying that if this guy is partner material you would break up with him because of the risk of finding other people's underwear in your home?! Is this on anybody's 'must have' boyfriend requirements?

NewLeaflet · 28/03/2015 11:26

you would break up with him because of the risk of finding other people's underwear in your home?! Is this on anybody's 'must have' boyfriend requirements?

hahaha. yes.

Cherryapple1 · 28/03/2015 11:28

Why on earth would you want a partner who has a 'special drawer' of other women's used underwear. Grim and bleugh in equal measure.

Joysmum · 28/03/2015 11:29

Why in god's name would you ever dump someone because he finds used panties arousing?

Because they aren't hers!

In my relationship, we get our kicks from each other, not seeking out our sexual gratification from other. Not a difficult concept to grasp I'd have thought Hmm

IfNotNowThenWhen · 28/03/2015 11:33

For the record, a women would generally only smell of fish if she had a bacterial infection, for example bacterial vaginosis. Many women do not realise they even have this, as we are brought up to think our fannies stink.
Apparently in Japan you can buy dirty drawers out of vending machines. This could be an urban myth...

catnipkitty · 28/03/2015 11:35

Are you sure he's not stealing yours and selling them??

I had no idea this was a Thing. And wish I still didn't know.

TopOfTheCliff · 28/03/2015 11:37

And Booboo every time I did the laundry I would have to count up all my knickers to check none had been mailed off for profit. How exhausting!

Jacana · 28/03/2015 11:41

Why am I giggling at the 'special drawer(s) hypothesis

Faez · 28/03/2015 11:42

Hahaha Booboo who are you...

why1989 · 28/03/2015 13:50

Fuck sake booboo