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Original poster

Good friend's husband has just left her with 4 children, should she confront mistress?

87 replies

SecondhandRose · 30/10/2006 17:38

I have said no, it will mean long journey to London, she has had words on the phone and now wants to go into town for more words. I have said not a good idea as I don't think she'll feel any better for it.

Messages with support as she is very down please. And no it isn't me, I don't have 4 children.

OP posts:
northerner · 30/10/2006 17:40

Probably not a good idea, but I can totally see why she would want to. I'd want to punch her lights out, then his.

I probably would tbh.

mummycan · 30/10/2006 17:43

Yes - make it real to the mistress - take the kds along fr good measure - show these cows that it's real families they are jeopardising.

BuffysMum · 30/10/2006 17:43

Tell her to try and keep her dignity and have it out with her husband if she can - only if the kids aren't around though!

cece · 30/10/2006 17:54

No tell her to keep her dignity.

But having said that I would definitely go and have words

SenoraPostrophe · 30/10/2006 17:56

no

clumsymum · 30/10/2006 17:57

NO, NO, NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO (4 million and 10 times NO)

But feel free to castrate (with a blunt pair of scissors) the stupid pr%ck of a husband, so he's of no further use to the mistress anyway.

busybusymum · 30/10/2006 17:58

Personnaally I wouldn't. I would be seething inside but I am damn sure I wouldn't give him or her the satisfation of knowing it. I would try to give the appearance of moving on! Onwards and upwards.

I suppose There are 2 trains of thought really.1st one that he is a pig for leaving you & kids and the 2nd that to risk loosing his family he must really love the other woman!

Piffle · 30/10/2006 17:59

No, no no
I t feels right at the time
SAve her rage for her bastard of husband who has let her down - sure this women is morally reprehensible but HE has committed the crime against his wife not the woman.
Get on with ruining his life...
Drain the accounts, chop up suits, send prawns in the post, have 2 tons of gravel delivered to her driveway (worth EVERY penny - used and recommended)

lulumama · 30/10/2006 17:59

no...and definitely not not not not not with the children

have it out with him by all means..ALONE....but not her....

and in all honesty....he might well come crawling back....and she can tell him to get lost! the mistress likely to lose interest when no longer an exciting bonk every now and again but a real relationship !!!

easier said than done...but if she does anything now in anger..she may well regret it later..

keep her dignity and a cool head....

fartmeistergeneral · 30/10/2006 18:00

I texted 'my' mistress asking her to leave my family alone. She then texted me saying it wasn't her fault!!!. I was desperate to answer that one, but left it. I felt I kept my dignity, as she was the one sitting with her mobile waiting for me to reply and I never did.

Imagine saying it wasn't her fault! Obviously two people at fault....but one of them WAS her!!!!

That was over 3 years ago, and I still have the odd daydream that I meet her in a bar and I'm looking fabulous, and I give her a great left hook.

beckybraAAARGHstraps · 30/10/2006 18:00

"take the kds along fr good measure "

NO!!!!!!

What an awful suggestion

HumphreyComfreyCushion · 30/10/2006 18:01

Agree 100% with BuffysMum post.

Keep the children away from any and all confrontations!

clumsymum · 30/10/2006 18:02

Rest assured, once the initial lust-fest is over, these men suddenly realise what they have lost. And they know they can NEVER get it back.

He will get his come-uppance. She may. At least all her friends will know she is a husband stealing bitch, and will treat her more warily round their husbands, so she'll feel the cold too.

fartmeistergeneral · 30/10/2006 18:04

would anyone go with a married man, knowing that in the future it may mean ruining his relationship with his kids? Beggars belief.

TillyRose · 30/10/2006 18:05

No No No. She should save her anger for HIM. He is the one who has left 4 kids and a wife, not her.

DastardlyDevilishDior · 30/10/2006 18:05

Playing Devil's Advocate here - maybe she didn't know he was married with kids? He wouldn't be the first man to have a bit on the side who was unaware of his married status surely? We are all assuming she is a bitch here, but she might be innocent...

DominiConnor · 30/10/2006 18:09

Personally, I'd keep quiet.
Masny such relationships don't do as well in practice as the people involved hope.
If you put yourself in as one of those with fixed (and ferocious) views you typically surrender any hope of being someone who can offer useful advice when the husband has 2nd thoughts.

wannaBe1974 · 30/10/2006 18:10

no no no no no no no no no no. have to say I like piffle's idea of the two tons of gravel though .

As for taking the kids along, worse idea I have ever heard. Bear in mind if he's left her to be with this woman then at some point he is going to take the kids along to meet her - it will be doubly hard for them if their mother has dragged them along to confront her previously - they don't deserve to be caught in the middle.

would I go with a married man ... no chance, if he could do it to his wife, then he could do it to me in the future.

bluejelly · 30/10/2006 18:23

Agree with clumsymum. Both the mistress and the philanderer will get their comeuppance without the need for big scenes.
Poor woman though.

FioFio · 30/10/2006 18:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Alibaldi · 30/10/2006 18:35

Yes the other woman will go with a man even when they know about two small children. My h's mistress did, do I blame her yes, 50% of the problem is her and has been for the last 2year. Will I get my own back on her, YES. But it will done in a very subtle way. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned". Will I involve my children no absolutely not for it looks as though their father will end up with this woman so no confrontation with them around. I feel for your friend and know exactly how she's feeling as I'm sure many other women on here do.

Freckle · 30/10/2006 18:35

Do you have a lovely, happy family picture, showing you, dh and the children? Send it to her. If she doesn't know her boyfriend is married, it will enlighten her. If she does know, it makes the whole family thing that more real.

Oh and send her two tons of gravel.

Freckle · 30/10/2006 18:36

Sorry, I mean your friend, not you.

cece · 30/10/2006 18:59

gravel? what about horse manure?

Original poster
SecondhandRose · 30/10/2006 19:45

They work together, she knows he is married, she is too and has a family of her own. Will email her now and ask her to look at this, she needs some support.

OP posts: