Op the relationship is over, now what you need to do is to end your association with this man.
Whenever a relationship ends without that being what we want it is natural to cling to the thought that perhaps you can be friends, that being friends is better than having nothing at all. But reality is that being friends just reminds of what you had and what you lost, and will prevent you from moving forward. The only way to get past this is to cut all contact. Delete his number, don’t reply to any texts in fact block him if you can, and don’t speak to him ever again. If he tries to come back tell him that he’s made his choice and you respect that, now it is up to him to make his marriage work but you want no part of it.
People have affairs, it happens, and often an affair is symptomatic of something else wrong in the marriage, but while that may go some way to explaining why some affairs happen it doesn’t in any way justify it.
You are now outside of the parameters of the affair, and now is the time for you to look to yourself to change your actions and make the right decisions for yourself.
If your marriage is unhappy then end it. If you were prepared to end your marriage some weeks ago for the Om then nothing’s changed – just because the Om is no longer there doesn’t take away the reasons for your marriage to end.
It’s not wrong to end an unhappy marriage op. Whatever the reasons why you don’t want to stay with your h, you are entitled to end the marriage. But ending the marriage for someone else will not bring you happiness. You won’t be running out of an unhappy marriage into blissful happiness with the Om – you’ve never lived together; never had a proper relationship; your plans to be together have been built on if-only. And in the background you’ll be faced with the other people caught up in your reasons – not just your ex’s and children, but other people who will find it hard to reconcile what you’ve done. Friends and family who will take the side of your ex over you; family who will be shocked that you could do it; people who will refuse to accept you, and possibly even resentment from your children if they’re old enough to realise.
Yes some affairs go on to become long-term relationships, but it takes time, years even, of uncertainty, resentment, blame and judgements even from people who don’t know you. Are you prepared for that? Is your relationship with Om strong enough to see out the next two, three, five years until you can be sure that you’re solid?
End your marriage now and all you will have to rely on is your own strength to move forward with your life. If Om is the one then his marriage will end in time for its own reasons – none of which should include you – and time will bring you together. But that should be based on clean breaks on either side and not on a foundation of lies and deception.