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Original poster

Just need to get this out - possible triggers

80 replies

justneedtogetthisout · 16/03/2015 00:54

Old member & NC for this, sorry if TMI but need to get this out & have no one I can tell and I need a second opinion Sad sorry if scrambled

Last night I was out with friends and got VERY drunk and we shared a cab home. After dropping my friend off the cab driver took me back to his instead of taking me home and I don't know for certain what happened as I was so drunk & I've maybe blanked out some parts of what potentially was about an hour all together (friend said I dropped her around 2.15 but she was drunk too so could be wrong but can't over question & draw attention, DH says I woke him around 4 clattering about, again can't over question).

Obviously I'm petrified what could have happened, but I'm reasonably sure he didn't rape me (because logically - you'll know what I mean when you say you can physically feel you've had sex? & because I am on my period and the tampon was still in). But just before he took me home he gave me my pants & tights to put in my bag Confused

I've had no flashbacks to anything sexual happening though, I remember lots of bits (even asking if we had sex to which he said no) but nothing at all like that but don't recall or understand why my pants were off - unless he went to start & saw I was on, or I passed out briefly & he stopped? This is hard to say to be understood - the memories don't feel 'wrong' like he wanted to take it. And as well as the logic above, potentially there was only a smallish time in which it could have even happened? I feel so upset & confused & obviously have no one to talk to and I'm wondering if you think my thoughts sound right?

OP posts:
BOFster · 16/03/2015 02:10

It does sound like something may have happened. Do you feel up to gong to the police?

I'm so sorry- it sounds incredibly upsetting and disorientating.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/03/2015 02:25

So the cab driver abducted you for an hour, removed your pants and tights, may have done stuff to you but not had actual penetrative sex because you're on your period - is that right?

I think you should go to the police too. Even if you didn't get raped, you were abducted and something may have happened.

Was it a proper licensed cab or a private cab?

DioneTheDiabolist · 16/03/2015 02:25

OP, you don't know exactly what happened, but let's start with what you do know:

You got a cab.
Instead of taking you home, the cab driver took you to his house.
When you left his house, you were in a state of undress.
You don't know why or how this happened.

Whatever went on, the cab driver was wrong not to take you to your specified destination. He was wrong to bring you to his home.

Millionsmom · 16/03/2015 02:33

Sounds like 'something' happened as your underwear was removed. Your thoughts aren't so muddled that we can't make sense of them.
You've good reason to be so upset, I hope your mind 'clears' soon and you are able to process what happened. For me, the not knowing would be the worst thing.
The taxi driver needs to be stopped before he does this to anyone else. It sounds like he's done this before Sad

Flowers and Brew for you.

DioneTheDiabolist · 16/03/2015 02:33

And your thoughts sound ok to me OP. They are your thoughts.

munchkin2902 · 16/03/2015 02:48

That's so horrible for you - I'm sorry.

This has struck a chord with me as something similar happened to me but with a 'friend' rather than a cab driver. I think you would know if you'd had sex (well - been raped.) is it possible you went to the loo and took tights and pants off there? And then just left them off? (I do that when I've got home drunk!)

I understand why people are saying to report but to be perfectly honest I don't think I would. I think I would just try to forget about it.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/03/2015 03:06

I wouldn't report for the pants and tights alone, but I would definitely report the "abduction" - i.e. taking her to his own house rather than hers.

tazzle22 · 16/03/2015 03:27

Is there a possibility the driver thought you were ok going to his ... If he had intention to rape you and couldn't because of menses he could just have chucked you out anywhere if you were that drunk.. He brought you home safe. . If you can't remember a sense of him being angry or frustrated just handing you back underwear then unless you can say you said no to going in his house I doubt there is anything you can report him for.

FatSwan · 16/03/2015 03:38

Correct me if I'm wrong-but I read the OP as the cab driver dropped her off at the friend's house, not the cab driver's?

NaughtyRed82 · 16/03/2015 03:46

She said after dropping her friend off he then took her to his place, instead of taking her home

Scouser32 · 16/03/2015 06:24

As a taxi driver in no circumstances I would ever take a women to my house. We are paid to take a fair to their destinations and if we feel a customer is too intoxicated, then there's too options try to gauged where they live or contact police.
we do have duty of care
The only time we can chuck a customer out is if they where verbal or physical abusive.

My personal view is phone police if your comfatable with that, as it doesn't sound like normal behaviour and if nothing happens then he has nothing to hide. He could explain why he took you home insted of police station ??
And if he is weird then it be better that police no to protect other members of the public and get him off the cabs.
I do hope your ok and hopefully nothing did happen :-)

Not2bObvious · 16/03/2015 06:41

I'm very sorry this happened to you, and if this is an incredibly stupid thing to say I apologise. Is there any chance you went to the bathroom and were unable to put your tights/pants back on? I only ask because many years ago I remember waking after a very heavy night on hols to find my own pants/bottoms on the floor beside the bed and I was completely at a loss as to what had happened, it was the only thing that made sense at the time. I hope you're ok today, you must have had an awful time thinking about this probably feeling dreadful after the drink as well, my heart goes out to you

AlternativeTentacles · 16/03/2015 06:45

I think whatever you need to go to the police as you were taken to his house and not to your home which in itself is 'something happening’.

They possibly may get to the bottom of what happened whilst you were there. And it might be the tip of the iceberg, you dont know if he does this regularly with drunk women.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 16/03/2015 06:47

Tazzle
You seem to be suggesting that the taxi driver might have believed she consented to sexual activity therefore he did nothing illegal.
If the op was so drunk she can't remember the events of the night then she could not possibly have consented to sex and so any view he might have had of her consent would have been wrong, morally AND legally.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 16/03/2015 06:49

The point being that the police can certainly investigate a complaint where the potential victim cannot remember what happened and believes she may have been assaulted and abducted. His obliging manner makes no difference to his guilt or otherwise

TheBlackRider · 16/03/2015 07:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Heckler · 16/03/2015 07:02

I would agree with the others saying report this to the police. BUT, I will completely understand if you don't feel you can.

TheBlackRider · 16/03/2015 07:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Anaffaquine · 16/03/2015 07:05

Definitely get to the police, asap. Not sure how long any drugs like rohypnol stay in the system. You might have been drugged.
It does sound like the taxi driver was dodgy. I can't think why he would take you to his house instead of straight home.

Scouser32 · 16/03/2015 07:48

That's what I was saying report to police.
Taxi driver should never take a customer too his home.
And he will know this via the trainng courses he should do.

AlternativeTentacles · 16/03/2015 07:55

Is there a possibility the driver thought you were ok going to his ... If he had intention to rape you and couldn't because of menses he could just have chucked you out anywhere if you were that drunk.. He brought you home safe. . If you can't remember a sense of him being angry or frustrated just handing you back underwear then unless you can say you said no to going in his house I doubt there is anything you can report him for.

Give over. How in any way would it ever be ok to take a fare to your own home?

TheBlackRider · 16/03/2015 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE · 16/03/2015 08:48

Erm, firstly you can report him for taking you back to his. Im mean, wtf was he thinking?

Secondly, you need to tell the police what has happened so they can deal with it accordingly.

Is there any chance you wet yourself and he gave you things to change into? I realise Im clutching at straws!

So sorry this has happened OP Thanks

TheBlackRider · 16/03/2015 08:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 16/03/2015 08:59

I'm pretty sure I'm not exaggerating when I say him taking her somewhere she didn't ask to go and didn't want to go = abduction. And I'm equally sure that's against the law and reportable.

So maybe he didn't sexually assault her in any way - but if that wasn't his intention then wtaf was he taking her to his home for?

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