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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just need to get this out - possible triggers

80 replies

justneedtogetthisout · 16/03/2015 00:54

Old member & NC for this, sorry if TMI but need to get this out & have no one I can tell and I need a second opinion Sad sorry if scrambled

Last night I was out with friends and got VERY drunk and we shared a cab home. After dropping my friend off the cab driver took me back to his instead of taking me home and I don't know for certain what happened as I was so drunk & I've maybe blanked out some parts of what potentially was about an hour all together (friend said I dropped her around 2.15 but she was drunk too so could be wrong but can't over question & draw attention, DH says I woke him around 4 clattering about, again can't over question).

Obviously I'm petrified what could have happened, but I'm reasonably sure he didn't rape me (because logically - you'll know what I mean when you say you can physically feel you've had sex? & because I am on my period and the tampon was still in). But just before he took me home he gave me my pants & tights to put in my bag Confused

I've had no flashbacks to anything sexual happening though, I remember lots of bits (even asking if we had sex to which he said no) but nothing at all like that but don't recall or understand why my pants were off - unless he went to start & saw I was on, or I passed out briefly & he stopped? This is hard to say to be understood - the memories don't feel 'wrong' like he wanted to take it. And as well as the logic above, potentially there was only a smallish time in which it could have even happened? I feel so upset & confused & obviously have no one to talk to and I'm wondering if you think my thoughts sound right?

OP posts:
BisleyBoy · 19/03/2015 15:48

Sorry, when I said 'should' I didn't mean it in a 'you should do this' kind of way, although I can see it looks like that. It came out wrong, sorry. The OP doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to. I very recently had a psychiatric nurse tell me that by not reporting my childhood sexual abuser I was allowing him to continue abusing others. I'm sorry if I sounded like I was implying the same kind of thing to you OP. That was not my intention.

QueenBean · 19/03/2015 15:49

bisleyboy I don't think that post was aimed at you, I think it was aimed at Fugghetaboutit

BisleyBoy · 19/03/2015 15:50

Also, I don't think a victim of abuse/assault has a moral obligation to report it. I think the perpetrator has a moral obligation not to do it in the first place.

BisleyBoy · 19/03/2015 15:51

Ah Smile
Still good to clarify though I think.

TheBlackRider · 19/03/2015 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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