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Original poster

Your most trivial 'dealbreaker'... (lighthearted)

357 replies

CogitoErgoSometimes · 13/03/2015 15:40

It's Friday, I read this article... Groom Dumped Over Failed Maths Test ... and wondered what relatively trivial failing in someone meant they didn't get that second or third date.

Mine was that he collected ornamental boxes and lined them up on his coffee table set-square perfect.

OP posts:
theDudesmummy · 15/03/2015 13:11

As a teenager: refused to go out with a guy because he had a beard (got my mother to say I was ill every time he phoned).
And then at 40 I married a man with a beard! (which he still has)

StaircaseAtTheUniversity · 15/03/2015 13:16

Nice guy, met through a friend of a friend. First date and he took me to... An aquarium. Where we walked around for three hours while he talked at length about the biology of and names of all the fish.

And that was that.

QuietTiger · 15/03/2015 13:31

RubbishMantra - my DH also bought his own cat when he moved in! DH is the ONLY person that DCat didn't pee on when I brought him home for the first time, instead climbing all over his lap and telling DH how much he loved him. My DCat is a good judge of character. he's had years of experience Grin

cleanmyhouse · 15/03/2015 13:34

Eeeeew at the erotic massage

Stillyummy · 15/03/2015 13:37

Staircase- I would have married him/corrected him and never called (depends if he was right)! I suppose that means that some peoples red flags may be others perfect partners. Witch is a nice conclution Smile

Puzzledandpissedoff · 15/03/2015 13:55

He kept nipping off to piss in streetside bushes - okay anyone can get caught short very occasionally, but this was on each of two dates

No doubt something to do with the colossal amount he drank ... Hmm

ElviraCondomine · 15/03/2015 14:03

At university, best friend and I had a list of deal breakers:
white towelling sports socks
inability to dance / sing
waist measurement smaller than ours

DH broke both the first two from day 1 (easily solved - I buy the socks, and keep him away from dance floors)

The last was not an issue 20 years ago, but 2 massive babies, the menopause and hormone issues have sadly reversed that.

SnakeyMcBadass · 15/03/2015 14:05

An honest love of S Club 7. Just...no.

BuzzardBird · 15/03/2015 14:18

Just before he came he said "I've got a little present for you", which would have been lovely if he hadn't meant his ejaculation. :(

GallicGarlic · 15/03/2015 15:41

Shock Buzzard, yeuch!

These are also contenders for 'worst shag'. I have a long list Grin

My friends decided to solve my homing instinct for idiots & bullies, by fixing me up with a really nice man they knew. They'd sat down & enumerated his compatible qualities - loads of them - and prepared the ground with him. So we went on a date. I found him a bit of a drip but, mindful of my pals' words, rode along with it. I took him home to bed. During 'sex', he delivered a running commentary: "Now I'm stroking your breast; now I'm licking your left nipple ..." Confused It got worse - consummation involved him lying face down, while I lay on his back and wriggled around! Couldn't get him to adopt any position suitable for intercourse.

Friends didn't believe me, and were quite cross that I refused to meet him ever again.

Shortly before giving up on sex for the foreseeable future, I slept with a long-standing friend who is a truly lovely man and very good-looking. He announced he was coming (I know a lot of men do but I have to stifle a laugh) and then rolled right away while I was still mid-orgasm. I honestly didn't know what to say. How can you get to 45 and still be so daft???!

BuzzardBird · 15/03/2015 15:58

Could you not have given a running commentry back? "And this is me being turned off", "and this is me getting dressed", "and this is me showing you the exit"? Grin

BuzzardBird · 15/03/2015 16:02

Ooow. I have another!

I once ended a relationship with someone that brough a Twix out during DTD and announced I was going to be used for some sort of snack display...wrong! If anyone else has slept with this semi famous writer I would love to know if he always had weird bedroom behaviour...it wasn't the worst one either.

GallicGarlic · 15/03/2015 16:04

I definitely should have, Buzzard Grin

OinkBalloon · 15/03/2015 16:05

He introduced me as his girlfriend. On our second date. Not even by my name. I hadn't made up my mind about him yet, and we hadn't even kissed.

Or there was the octopus who took me to see a really good film, and would not let me watch it IYSWIM. He was a clergyman's son! I wonder whether his dad knew what his son was like?

Or there was the guy who was shorter than me (I like tall men) and had the most massive hooter (nose! You dirty-minded vipers Wink) but was otherwise really attractive. Intelligent, funny, assertive, gentle and smelled good. Unfortunately, the moment I agreed to go out with him he turned into a calf-eyed mooner who hung on my every word and seemed to have totally lost any manliness. Instant turn-off.

Christinayang1 · 15/03/2015 16:06

His trousers were too short...think Norman wisdom

He ejaculated by only touching my silk Jammie's

He sat outside the bathroom waiting for me as he missed me!

Viviennemary · 15/03/2015 16:09

I met this quite handsome guy at a party in my youth. He turned up for a date wearing white socks and cream brogue type things. Which were old fashioned even then. He also was a total pain.

Christinayang1 · 15/03/2015 16:29

buzz

We really need to discuss your taste in men.....

herbaceous · 15/03/2015 17:40

These were a series of straws that eventually broke the camel's back, but included:

  • Always carrying his house keys when going for a run, even when on holiday in Italy. He still carried his house keys.
  • Not knowing where Italy was on a map of Europe.
  • Not knowing the story of Scot of the Antarctic.
  • Walking two paces behind me everywhere.
  • Only having one set of bedlinen.
  • Saying he really looked forward to the new financial year, as he could pay money into his ISA and do some filing.
  • Recording late night telly to watch at 5am. When I suggested he could just stay up one night to watch it, and get up at a normal time, he looked at me like I was mad.
  • Insisting on drinking the recommended two pints of water a day all at the same time, and complaining of stomach ache.

I should really have got out after the first one or two, shouldn't I.

Wailywailywaily · 15/03/2015 18:04

he admired himself in the mirror while DTD

Wailywailywaily · 15/03/2015 18:08

He was a virgin at the age of 25. I just couldn't be bothered to be his first, too much responsibility.

AlphaBravoHenryFoxtons · 15/03/2015 18:11

I dumped my first boyfriend after an incident over a meal in my house. We'd all eaten macaroni cheese, it was just a casual midweek family meal. As my mum was clearing the plates, my x boyfriend said: "That was absolutely lecker, Mrs Foxtons. You must give me the recipe."

I have three sisters and we all looked at one another, and raised eyebrows that acknowledged he would have to go. We still say things are lecker when they are totally delish. Grin

PeaceOfWildThings · 15/03/2015 18:16

Lecker does mean delicious...in German! Grin

cakeandarse · 15/03/2015 18:25

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GallicGarlic · 15/03/2015 18:28

Ahem. Cake's DS, please give your mum's device back to her NOW!

CaurnieBred · 15/03/2015 18:30

When he wanted a kiss he made kissey noises. And when he spoke to me it was using the same tone of voice you would use when speaking to a small child - I was 26. He spoke to every other adult in a normal tone of voice. It was a long distance relationship that lasted 6 months: if it wasn't long distance it probably wouldn't have lasted a month!