Your most trivial 'dealbreaker'... (lighthearted)

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

It's Friday, I read this article... Groom Dumped Over Failed Maths Test ... and wondered what relatively trivial failing in someone meant they didn't get that second or third date.

Mine was that he collected ornamental boxes and lined them up on his coffee table set-square perfect.

Not a dick by me, Trills. I'd consider forgiving someone who knows they can't use chopsticks, asks for and uses a fork. Faffing around stupidly with chopsticks is a dumping offence.

Years ago, I fancied a guy at work - he was tall, dark and handsome, incredibly clever, was a genuinely nice guy, and had everything anyone could want. In fact, all the girls drooled a bit. My lust for him died utterly when we were all out for a company dinner, and he slurped his soup. Proper, loud, slurpy slurpy slurpy noises.

This is horribly superficial but in my defence I was only 18 at the time.

A guy I'd fancied for ages, beautiful guy, really good mates, thought he was wonderful. The night we hooked up and he got undressed, he was just so skinny it was an instant turnoff. I made the excuse I didn't want to ruin our friendship by taking it any further and stopped things there. Which is ironic because that's pretty much where our friendship ended. I deeply regretted it though and mooned after him for months

Saw Touché Éclat in his briefcase.

Thinking about it, I've mostly ruled out potential BFs even before the first date. Those were the days, before the digital age, when you could see the person asking. So it could be his hair (greasy ponytail); reputation for needing a drink every single day ( we met the morning after a party, I'd put him in the recovery position the night before; ; height (far too tall - he was a bloody adonis too and I didn't fancy the idea of all the competition); clothes (grey socks with brown sandals? No!); extreme geeky ways (didn't understand half of what he said and he had several walls of his house covered in foil. He said as insulation but some of hisfriends said it was to stop 'them' from listening in this was 1980s!!!). Also avoided anyone into petty thievery, mean mindedness or extreme political views which they shared too confidently.

After resisting the urge for ages, I went out on a date with a guy from my office. Had a fantastic evening, we really did hit it off and I agreed to go back to his place to call a cab home (this was pre-mobile phone days).

He excused himself, I sat on the sofa awaiting his return. He appeared at the doorway stark naked except for his socks, with arms outstretched saying TA-DA!!

I collapsed with laughter - he was REALLY pissed off - I called my taxi and left, still laughing.

The atmosphere at work was frosty to say the least and he refused to talk to me even though I apologised for laughing.

The end of a beautiful friendship.

Two spelling mistakes in one sentence on a Valentine's card.

He wiped his hands on my kitchen curtains.

Are you sure it was only his hands he wiped?

First date, in his car, he played a Roxette cd.
It was also the last date.

I've never dumped anyone for anything trivial but I will now. My mother's always told me to never trust a man who wears suede shoes (basically all the men she knew who wore suede shoes were pervy and wear them so they can creep about without being heard, or so she claims).

My last boyfriend wore suede shoes and I remember at the time thinking shit! But this was several years ago and I hadn't seen him wearing them recently so I decided to forgive him for it and give him a chance (although he did like to wear some rather nasty moccasins - eurgh, that should have told me everything I needed to know then but I decided to ignore his horrendous choice in footwear).

Without going into too much detail about what happened but my mother was right. I will NEVER EVER again go out with anyone who wears suede shoes or moccasins. As soon as I see any sign of suede shoes or moccasins I will be out of there so fast it will make Mo Farrah look like a snail in comparison.

Facial hair.

Blind date. He looked just like the psychopathic prisoner in the movie 'Green Mile', complete with sneery smile.... Nope.

Not liking asparagus... but was more of a 'straw that broke...' deal breaker in a long relationship than in a short one.

Wearing jeans and black dress shoes. Nope.

I once broke up with a bloke after a first date because his hands were smaller than mine, and I have small hands. Felt like I was holding a child's hands.

Bad breath. I had a lovely date, he was sexy as fuck but the smell!!! I told him by text that he needed to see a dentist as I thought it was serious. I was right, he went the next day- seriously infected implant. I never text back. How did it not hurt enough for him to notice first?

My first serious bf 30 years ago committed many relationship crimes (in modern mumsnet parlance he was a controlling, abusive jerk) but the one that stands out after all these years is his attempt to proscribe how many sheets of toilet paper I use per sitting.

He asked me if I was 'On the blob' (period). Actually, that's horrible, not trivial, but I think I was looking for an excuse to be outraged and dump him.

He told me i was "delicioussssssssssssss"

Over.

He fell over on two seperate occassions when we were out for walks.

I dumped one guy after 3 dates for pushing my cat off the sofa. It was the first time he was over, I was in the kitchen and he didn't think I could hear him. As he pushed Dcat off the sofa he said "Fuck off cat, when I move in, you'll be gone".

As anticat guy was leaving through the front door, after receiving a piece of my mind about his treatment of Dcat, he said "You'll never get a man with a cat, you were lucky I considered you for a date..."

18 years later, Dcat is still ruling my and my DH's life with an iron paw and I have no idea where "anticat" guy is, or even what his name was as I can't remember. DH dated and then married me knowing I had 7 cats, and we're now up to 9. Clearly Anticat guy was talking through his arse!!

No way Silveroldie! That happened to me! Except we'd been clubbing, came back to mine to chill and listen to music. I went to my room to get changed into a comfy tracksuit. He misinterpreted that as me "slipping into something more comfortable". He was butt naked in my lounge when I returned. Looking most pleased with himself. Probably felt silly when I burst out laffing though.

And a lucky escape there with the Anti-Cat. A psychiatrist once wrote a paper on how there's something innately wrong with people who don't like cats.

When DH moved in, he brought his own cat.

He offered me a shoulder massage and proceeded to writhe about behind me singing 'erotic..erotic...put your hands all over my body' (à la Madonna) in a low, '''''seductive''''' voice.

Pass the memory bleach.

Oh no! How many layers of awfulness is that!?

I love this thread!