Your most trivial 'dealbreaker'... (lighthearted)

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

It's Friday, I read this article... Groom Dumped Over Failed Maths Test ... and wondered what relatively trivial failing in someone meant they didn't get that second or third date.

Mine was that he collected ornamental boxes and lined them up on his coffee table set-square perfect.

On our fourth date we met at the cinema in Shaftesbury Avenue. I was there a little early and watched him coming towards me looking tall and handsome … and wearing a bum bag. I remember thinking, 'Ugh, I can't see a future with a man who wears a bum bag'

When I was a teenager, I had a massive crush on my friend's older brother, and was over the moon when after months he asked me out. He was tall, good looking, very witty, looked really cool in his faded Levis and white t shirt. And long hair - this was the 70s. He was a musician, and as I said, I thought he was really cool. So imagine my feelings when he picked me up wearing ..... A brown suit with checks on it! We did go out for the evening ( clubbing,thought I vwould die of embarrassment) but I just had to break it off the next day.
I do feel ashamed of being so shallow.
I had to dump another guy for sartorial reasons. He'd turned up to meet me at a friend's party( my friends, not his,he didn't have any) wearing a brand new leather jacket. And new leather trousers. And new biker boots. He was not a biker. He creaked every time he moved, and it was all so shiny! Had to go.

Someone who ironed his NMEs and kept them in plastic packets. Shame as he was really handsome and looked like Morrissey.
I coukd never ever go out with a Newcastle United / Rangers fan.

At a wedding in the 1970s, I spent the entire evening flirting with a fellow teen. Towards the end of the evening the DJ announced: "This next record is for Alpha. from John.' It was Foster & Allen.

Delphinium - at the checked suit.

I once dumped a guy because he refused to eat any meal which contained fruit or veg. He wasn't allergic or anything. It really limited where we could eat on dates. Fish and chips again? No!

Another guy, we had been dating for around two months and I'd spent the night around his place. In the middle of the night he woke both of us up with the most massive fart. I pretended to be asleep but I just couldn't see him in the same light after that.

I know someone who dumped his girlfriend because she was allergic to his hamster.

HWNBU, ethel. "Love me, love my hamster" :)

Lekker means delicious in Afrikaans and Dutch

He wasn't German, nor S African nor Dutch. He was just a super posh.

He rubbished my Masters degree. 'They actually do Masters degrees in that now, do they?'. tosser

He admitted to crying at Titanic.

He was obsessive about paying his mortgage off. He used to photoshop a picture of a Jaguar and put the amount left to pay in on the reg plate, like "P 62K". This was updated throughout the year.

Then he hung the picture in his office and chuckled how nobody had worked out the secret message.

I turned up to a first date and he was MUCH shorter than his dating profile had said. I'm a midget and I was taller than him in the heels I was wearing.

I let that slide and we began walking around a shopping centre. Nothing strenuous. The sweat was pouring off him. Pouring. He pulled out a sweat rag... Wtf?! He just pulled this towel out of his pocket as if it was nothing and began dampening himself down.

When he pulled it out in the bar we were sitting in, I realised maybe he didn't even need to be walking to have a glossy head.

He suggested we go bowling. I was worried we'd need a wet floor sign.

I had to be honest and told him I wasn't enjoying myself and didn't really want to continue for another couple of hours so would prefer to just go home.

Asking me for a first date, he said, "So when are you going to take me out to dinner?"
Me: "Never"

It happened again with someone else.

Having talked to me and ascertained I liked animals he went and caught me a snake.

A fecking venomous one.

He presented it to me in a fish bowl while looking extremely proud of himself.

Caught you a snake? Were you living in some exotic country at the time or did he vault the barrier at Whipsnade?

Requested extra peperami on his pizza. The waitress looked at me with pity in her eyes. She felt my pain!

T-Bex you just reminded me of a teenage horror.
Went to a lad's house and sat in a fabulous swivel chair in the middle of the sitting room. He said let's play some music and put on a record .... Chris De Burg's Lady in Red! He then started to dance round the chair in what he thought was a seductive way fail
I ran all the way home!!

He had a wonky cock , it kinda curved at the end

Another bloke had really small girly hands & always had one nail uncut like really long and his hands hadn't done a hard day's work ever

He drank malibu and pinapple juice.

Had dinner on our first date and the guy and he had awful table manners. I couldnt eat a thing.

Another one was dumped because he wore suade shoes that were brown, another because I could see a huge mound of hair popping out of his chest, another had manicured nails (way better nails than me) another was wearing jeans where he (or his mother I suspect) had ironed creases down the front of them and the numerous guys who were dumped because they thought taking me out on a date meant I was going to shag them. Sorry guys but that is one sure way to not get a second date.

He told me I was too wet during sex and I should get up and dry myself. Never mind he forced his donkey dick in me and made me bleed everytime.. Yes I was clearly the problem ohh and he dumped me on boxing day he was a real catch.

The y fronts Simon cowell style had me giggling! That is hillarious and totally justified. My dad wears y fronts. I would be green at the gills with the thought!

I am nearly weeping at the man who turned his laptop into a sewing kit!

Mine: actually used the words "rumpy pumpy" in a non ironic way.