Gaslighting or postnatal depression?

[Lula2515]

Was going to nc for this...but meh, beyond that now.

This morning I found a receipt where my DP had spent £70 at a bar last night with a female friend. They were only there 2 hours, I questioned him on it and he went mental said I was actually sick, there was something wrong with me. I am convinced there must have been other people there or they must have been drinking champagne or something...which in itself isn't an issue, its more that he lied about it - told me he drank pints and that he needed to see her because she needed to talk.

Thing is, maybe I did overreact, I've been quite low recently- we had a baby nearly 5 months ago. After that argument, I've booked a doctors appointment for later today.

Not quite sure what Im asking....am I mental or is it a bit him?

No point in talking reasonably with him, he is not reasonable. He wouldn't have done those things in the beginning because he was reeling you in: how he was then is not his "true self".

Why not go and stay with your DM for a "holiday"?

And/or seek advice from women's aid? Or a lawyer (eg moving areas with DC, which he is bound to be angry about).

He needed to to go a bar with another woman because she needed to talk. What about your needs and wants? I wish you strength getting out of this because he is a complete arsehole and you deserve better.

Is that a guilty conscience? Calling you sick? I think he is sick...

Yeah he has form for flying off the handle with what I assume is a guilty conscience.

Last night when I spoke to him he started crying..which i gather from here is mandatory practice in being a manipulative bastard

You're learning fast, Luna. Stay strong.

This isn't a healthy relationship.

To draw some comparisons, when DS was 5 months old and I was on maternity leave/SMP;

DH worked and was out the house from 7.30-6.30, Mon-Fri
I did the night shifts on all nights except Friday night when I went to bed at 9pm with ear plugs.
We take turns having a lie in.
He plays rugby so trains one evening and Saturday all day - this is his time to himself (still)
When he got home from work he would either cook dinner or do bedtime with the baby
On Saturday mornings, he'd take the baby out and do food shopping. I'd clean, sleep or do whatever I wanted.
Money was/is all joint. We both have access to it all. There is no guilt over money. NO reference to money belonging to one or another.
He didn't go out with an OW to spend money we didn't have

Having a relationship with a child is all teamwork. If you're not helping each other out, I don't see how you can not resent the other person.

It doesn't sound like he respects you, likes you or even loves you. You're just providing childcare and sex.

It certainly is.
Detract attention away from the discussion and get YOU to feel sorry for HIM!
Classic!

Grr. It makes me sad when I hear of other people's lovely experiences.

He also told me last night that I'm controlling..because he only goes out once or twice a week but if it wasn't for me he'd go out much more!

That's called projection. It's a way of manipulating you. You're controlling. No you're not. You'll proove it by not asking anything of him at all. You can't win because he doesn't want you to.

I spent such a long time feeling sad seeing real partnerships and healthy relationships. Nothing is as lonely as being in a mentally abusive relationship.

Walk. Don't look back. This isn't normal. You deserve better. Why stay with someone who makes you unhappy? Your Mum sounds great. Good luck x