My brother was raped, he won't tell anyone I think I'm going to explode!!

[Theoldcauliflower]

Just that , he's informed me he's in hospital 250 miles away , he doesn't know what's happened, he's woke up in his ex bf flat ( he was with him 5 years and still friends apt) someone that was there who knows my brother has text and told him he's been injected with heroin and been raped by his ex and 2other men! My brother is a mess but doesn't want me to tell anyone! I don't know what to do, please one of you talk to me x

Vivacia

Yes. It takes no account whatsoever of the survivors directly stated wishes and instead urges someone to take charge and over ride his wishes. It shows no respect for the agency of the survivor.

I'm so so sorry for what your brother has been through. I know a little bit of the anger you're feeling to his attackers. I'm sorry you've had such conflicting advice and criticism on this thread.
I think you're the person who knows your brother best and if you are genuinely doing what you think is in his best interests then that's the best you can do. Do you know the friends he's staying with now?

Cauli, don't know your living situation but would it be possible for your brother to come and stay with you for a few days? Yes you would have the kids running around but at least he would be with someone who knows what has happened and is not going to wonder what's up if he needs a good cry, etc.

Hi all
It wish I could get there to see him it's not just child care I don't have the money for a train or bus ticket, and I don't drive! I've told him I've spoke to our family dr and I've asked him to get a train home but he won't, he doesn't want to see my mum coz she will know something is up! No I don't know his friends but he's assured me he's being looked after, I've told him about rape crisis and so on but he just wants to leave it at the moment and I don't want to push him. I've told him I'm here day or night if he needs me don't know what else I can do really.

I don't think there is much else... how about a card or parcel, so he's reminded that he's in your thoughts?

I just feel so so sad, god only knows what's going round in his head!

That's a nice idea vivacia thankyou

There's not much else you can do now OP, other than keep up the contact with him so he knows he's got someone he can really tell how he feels,even if he trying to put a brave face on with everyone else. Be prepared that he might tough it out for a few days/weeks/months and then have a relapse - he will need your support even more if this happens.

I agree a card/care package would be a lovely way to show you care and that you're thinking of him.

Best wishes to you both.