So, every Tuesday... (warning - a bit gross, and relatively trivial)

[EndOfTheConveyor]

I noticed with fond amusement (from bin evidence and once from walking in) that every Tuesday afternoon for the last couple of months DH has had a wank.
Obviously, this in itself is no issue at all.

However, it has transpired (because it came up in conversation, and he mentioned it quite openly although a little bashfully) that this is directly related to a sexy business client he sees (in public, at an open-plan office) every Tuesday morning. I mean, she is clearly so sexy that he has to come straight home and have a wank about her every time he sees her. I have now Googled her and, yes, she looks like Angelina's sexier sister. She apparently flirts with him and has checked out whether or not he is single (he's rather attractive, my DH). He has made it clear that he isn't single and, well, that's that.

Is it odd that this sort of matters to me (although I've not let on to DH that it does)?

handfulofcottonbuds

Rose petal

I think not knowing is key. He shouldn't have told/been pushed to tell.

People do think strange things sometimes...

Handfulofcottonbuds
Hope you sent her the socks!

What an interesting first post

How on earth would you think to root through the bins?

He meets the same woman every Tuesday morning in an open plan office (who meets every week in an open plan office?) and then leaves work every Tuesday afternoon to have a wank?

This must be some job.

This idea that the only morally appropriate fantasy is one involving a celebrity...I find it weird. And odd. And reinforcing of sexist stereotypes about who is allowed to be attractive in our society.

Puts a whole new spin on the acronym c u next Tuesday though

Is acronym the right 'word' ?

I considered it - along with the skid marked boxers I found buried in his drawer months after he left.

I maintained my dignity though

Oh and it appears that he preferred trainer socks for some reason

Crusty and smelly!!

good luck to the OW - bitch

Oh handful I know I shouldn't laugh at a painful situation, but that is so funny

It's okay Christina - remembering those things helps with the recovery

It so would have been better if you didn't know about this. I don't find this disturbing though, I would be extremely surprised if my husband thought about me!

The only thing I find slightly odd is the 'evidence'. Is he generally untidy, or do you snoop through the bins on a regular basis? If there's been any element of blatant display of jizzy tissues or sticky socks then that's a bit odd, a bit as though he's trying to make you notice.

This thread has got me thinking about who my DH wanks over. He must do it as he travels for work. I caught him once checking out naked celebrities online and got upset and he seems to have stopped (or covered up the evidence) but they were all the girl next door types.

I'd love to know but there's no way he'd ever tell me. Would it upset him to know about me and Benedict Cumberbatch? What if he got annoyed and deleted all the Sherlock episodes I taped off the tv!?

Handful

Perhaps he went for a trainer sock because it is smaller, he may have got " lost" in a large sock.........

I find this whole thread interesting and quite amusing. Some of the comments are hilarious - "boundary-less randy dog behavior", "I would feel totally violated to know that some random sleaze was using me as a masturbatory aid"

I saw a statistic once that said man under 50 in a full time relationship do "personal maintenance" between 4 -7 times per week. To aid this "personal maintenance" men conjure up a scenario. Almost always involving someone they know, friend's, DW's friends, family and ex's etc. These scenario's are Often a play on a previous experience. It is rarely (if ever) their current partner or an inanimate object (such as a TV/Movie star).

SolidGoldBrass, said it correctly "Guess what, someone, somewhere, who you have no sexual interest in, probably has had a wank over thoughts of you at least once". However there is one caveat, the man is not thinking of you, he is imagining an avatar that looks like you.

That said; it does not mean the man is interested in the slightest in the central character in his scenario. Because as I said they are not real, they are just an avatar playing a part.

All that said OP and her OH must have a strong relationship to be able to discuss the object of his scenario without jealousy.

SolidGoldBrass - I'm with you all the way. How has policing our thoughts and fantasies become acceptable? Isn't it an opportunity to start talking about things that so many of us never dare to acknowledge openly and maturely, i.e. jealousy, fantasy? And, saying that, I would also have a reservation about the possibility that he's leaving the evidence out deliberately ... which could also be a great initiator of a conversation.

But gatewalker - asking your partner about the mental scenario(s) he uses to aid "personal maintenance" will not reveal anything about his fantasy, dreams etc.

perhaps op needs to leave evidence every week about how she rubs one off about Fred at the sandwich shop, him that she's already had a conversation with about their mutual attraction to each other

and then expect her husband to just suck it up in fond acceptance

would that work, do we think

or are manners and respect only dismissed when it's men's right to wank we are protecting?

Op - definitely starting leaving some personal toys out and having regular conversations about one individual you have the hots for who is returning your interest when he asks. I think it's gross he is leaving his wank tissues in a bin.

Handful- what a dirty fucking beast your x was. Grim. personally I would have posted them to him with a toilet roll suggesting he might like to start using it

Dont get why he had to tell you it was about someone at work, my DW would not be happy at all. Doesn't he know how to be discreet!?

Seems fairly harmless to me, really. I'd much rather DH had a wank using good old-fashioned imagination, rather than using some of the grim porn out there. Have to say I'd rather not know about it though! Maybe not probe him on this kind of thing in future pardon the pun even in a marriage we all deserve some privacy, and as long as it's only fantasy, it does the marriage no harm.

And now, having actually RTFT, I have to say I somewhat unusually completely agree with SGB and disagree with AnyFucker. And unusual turn of events for me!

Hey Elizabeth, it's a funny ole world

Although, I think the woman at work who has told him she fancies him is rather worryingly real th

but if he's not a cheater, all is well

he's just a wanker shrug