Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Original poster

So, every Tuesday... (warning - a bit gross, and relatively trivial)

112 replies

EndOfTheConveyor · 11/03/2015 22:08

I noticed with fond amusement (from bin evidence and once from walking in) that every Tuesday afternoon for the last couple of months DH has had a wank.
Obviously, this in itself is no issue at all.

However, it has transpired (because it came up in conversation, and he mentioned it quite openly although a little bashfully) that this is directly related to a sexy business client he sees (in public, at an open-plan office) every Tuesday morning. I mean, she is clearly so sexy that he has to come straight home and have a wank about her every time he sees her. I have now Googled her and, yes, she looks like Angelina's sexier sister. She apparently flirts with him and has checked out whether or not he is single (he's rather attractive, my DH). He has made it clear that he isn't single and, well, that's that.

Is it odd that this sort of matters to me (although I've not let on to DH that it does)?

OP posts:

Fairylea · 11/03/2015 22:32

I'd be very hurt and angry if dh told me he'd been flirting with someone at work and came home and had a wank!!

(No issues with the wank itself just the idea of him fancying someone else he's in contact with).

BigRedBall · 11/03/2015 22:32

...I had a dream last night that DH was wanking to gay porn. I felt pissed off with him this morning and am still wondering about asking him why he'd do this in my dream . And that was just a dream....

Eminado · 11/03/2015 22:38

Wow! Would he be ok with this situation reversed?

WHY would he tell you this???

CupidStuntSurvivor · 11/03/2015 22:43

What exactly did he hope to achieve by telling you this?

Jemmi · 11/03/2015 22:48

So he is fantasizing that he is having sex with a woman at work who is interested in him and flirts with him . That's not good.

Justmuddlingalong · 11/03/2015 23:00

It sounds like he's warning you. If anything happens with her in future, he's told you how he felt in advance.

AnyFucker · 11/03/2015 23:10

Your husband sounds like a creep.

SolidGoldBrass · 11/03/2015 23:56

I think if the OP really did (as she says) nag and pester until he told her who he was wanking about, she is at least partly to blame for her own discomfort. We are all entitled to wank ourselves purple in the face over anyone and everyone who excites us as long as we don't tell other people about it in a creepy or hurtful way.
Though I do think him leaving his spunky hankies around the place for OP to find is a bit ill-mannered and lazy.

SensationalGirl · 12/03/2015 00:58

I'm sure I'd be bothered but not too bothered. Wanking over someone is light years away from getting someones number and sending a sexy text. If she really is as good looking as you say she is then the mens work toilets probably look like a Jackson Pollock painting every Tuesday afternoon.

It's a bit gross for her really, I feel for her actually. I hope she is completely unaware.

I can't think of anyone in rl who's excited me in years but should my husband be upset with me that I've spent many blissful hours in the company of Benedict Cumberbatch?

maras2 · 12/03/2015 02:20

What was the point of this post?Is it supposed to make you look cool?It doesn't.It makes you seem a bit sad really.I have no issue with anyone having a wank but on such a regular basis using the image of someone he meets through business and actually names her is just so Sorry but I can't find the appropriate words.

ScrambledEggAndToast · 12/03/2015 06:42

I'd be fuming. I mean, if it was a celebrity it would be mildly annoying and probably funny because he would be extremely unlikely to ever meet them. However, the fact that he sees this woman, in person, on a regular basis makes is really creepy.

MrsFrankieHeck · 12/03/2015 06:54

He sounds like a total cunt.

sebsmummy1 · 12/03/2015 07:08

I'd be more concerned that this colleague seems to fancy your husband and he very obviously fancies her too. That's a pretty dangerous dynamic and it seems it wouldn't take much to turn this mutual attraction into something physical. For that reason I would not be fondly amused in the slightest.

Ebony69 · 12/03/2015 07:27

he sounds like a total cunt. Really?? That judgement is totally over the top. When the OP admits that she forced him to disclose this? I think his honesty is actually more a reflection of a healthy relationship. I agree that the OPshould not have pushed him. We're all entitled to our private thoughts / fantasies but I agree he needs to be more discrete.

GoldenBeaches · 12/03/2015 07:45

My dh read the post and said "how very liberal, I guess she doesn't mind her dh cheating in his mind, let's hope it stays just in his mind".

PuellaEstCornelia · 12/03/2015 08:08

Going against the grain here - it's just a harmless fantasy! I spend a fair amount of my time with Khal Drogo in my head when shagging my (much beloved) OH - I just wouldn't be dumb enough to tell him!
Kind of think I would prefer that to some sort of porn where some poor woman is beng exploited......
I'd also be FAR more upset about evidence being left behind!

SquallyShowersButSunshineAhead · 12/03/2015 08:36

Is he able to successfully compartmentalise his fantasy to Tues p.m. wanks?

Have you asked him who he is making love to in his head when you are DTD?

Would that matter?

Fontella · 12/03/2015 09:17

Do you work with Khal Drogo, in real life, in the flesh? Has Khal Drogo flirted with you, checked you out, asked if you were single and made it clear he's interested?

Do you rush home every Tuesday after seeing Khal Drogo in your office and wank over him?

Wanking over a fictional character/actor who portrays him is indeed a fantasy. I've shagged lots of men from Paul Newman to the current Ross Poldark - in my head.

But perving and wanking over a real life, available, flirty human being who you see regularly is somewhat different.

(and personally I think this thread is a wind up).

sebsmummy1 · 12/03/2015 09:42

Totally agree with Fontella. Fictional or Tv characters are acceptable head porn as they are unobtainable to the average person. This is someone who is interested in OPs DH and who he sees weekly. They only thing stopping a full blown affair is his willpower. As I said up thread, dangerous stuff.

BumgrapesofWrath · 12/03/2015 09:55

Surely it's better he's wanking over her rather than bonking her? I think everyone is being a bit OTT here.

Yeah, it's a bit uncomfortable, but I think you should take comfort in the fact he's honest with you. Everyone maybe up in arms here, but none of us know what is going through our OHs minds at any point. This bloke is at least saying what is on his mind.

I know I wouldn't cheat on my DH, but I have fantasised about others.

Fontella · 12/03/2015 10:10

he's wanking over her rather than bonking her?

If he's wanking over someone in real life, then he's sexually turned on by her, to the point that he wanks literally every time he sees her. He's sexually susceptible to her charms let's say.

She's already shown she's interested and it's a very small step from lusting after someone to lusting with someone. He might not be bonking her now .. but as someone else has said, the only thing (apparently) stopping that from happening is his willpower.

Oh and everyone is just accepting he 'made it clear he's not single and that's it'.

He could be lying .. it does happen occasionally with husbands especially those lusting after other women and having to wank every time they see them.

pocketsaviour · 12/03/2015 10:58

For gods sake the paranoia here is disturbing.

You are not the thought police for your partners. Jeez.

OP's mistake was asking him, DP's mistake was telling! Some things are better left unsaid!

BlueBananas · 12/03/2015 11:14

I don't know if it counts as paranoia when you're upset about something that is actually happening, rather than fretting about something that might happen

shovetheholly · 12/03/2015 11:20

I think it's actually good that OP and her DH have the kind of relationship where this could be (reluctantly) discussed.

I would suggest a further conversation about it, to be honest - OP, you need to tell him how this makes you feel, and how you are concerned about the influence this woman has over his hormones! I suspect that it's eminently sortable.

Floggingmolly · 12/03/2015 11:22

Paranoia?? Op's DH is openly admitting to feeling compelled to have a fairly immediate wanking session every time he meets this woman, and she's made it clear that she's both interested and available.

Wouldn't take a lot to light the touch paper there, would it?

Flip

1 2 3 4 5

Swipe left for the next trending thread